I use my penis as a belt

Discussion in 'Underwear, Clothing, and Appearance Issues' started by Imported, Apr 1, 2004.

  1. Imported

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    gwinea2000: I figured this would fit as an appearance/clothing issue. My penis is so large that it gets in the way when I walk. So, as a solution, I decided to wrap it around my waist. Eventually, I decided to use it as a fashion statedment since I have an exhibitionist streak anyways, so I started using it as a belt. I know it sounds like b.s. but it's not THAT big.











    Besides, I have a skinny waist. :)
     
  2. Imported

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    SpeedoGuy: I hear ya.

    I saw a guy whose prong was so long he could throw it out of the window of his car and let it dangle there as he drove down the road.

    I know 'cause I saw it once.

    SG
     
  3. jonb

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    [pre]
    =========================== cut here =============================

    STANDARDIZED BONEHEAD REPLY FORM

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    Dear:

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    I took exception to your recent:

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    It is recommended that you:

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    =========================== cut here =============================
    [/pre]
     
  4. Pecker

    Pecker Retired Moderator
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    Buckling it must be painful.

    Pecker

    You know she's ugly when the best method of birth control is to leave the lights on.
     
  5. jonb

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    Say, Pecker, have you seen the newest way to plonk? Just direct them to Such a nice song
     
  6. Imported

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    josh82823: You absolutely crack me up Jon.........
     
  7. Imported

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    rockabilly_guy: I just laffed so hard I spit my YooHoo up thru my nose! lolol
     
  8. Imported

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    Megumi_sama: *Looks at your previous comments*

    Umm, I'm sorry for you, do you have some sort of medical problem that has left you with a waist that is less than 8 inches? :-/

    :D
     
  9. Imported

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    bbobb21: I do know that there men penis that long. usually it occurs through weighty before puberty. I was in India and visited village where this was the practice some 30 years ago in the Peace Core. Boys would make decision at about 9 or 10 or younger and their penises would be weighted. They did literally wrap them around there wastes. I have never seen one that came as standard equipment that long though. Also, the men who did that could not ejaculate but said that they were constantly aroused. Bob
     
  10. Imported

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    gwinea2000:

    Similarly, when I'm staying at my parents house (or some similarly inconvenient location) I have often thrown my wang out the window and allowed my girlfriend(s) to quietly pull themselves up into my room. Quite convenient, and gives a good stretch. I suggest this to those of you looking for length gains.





    It's a bit of a struggle when more than one are climbing up at the same time, though.
     
  11. Imported

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    Javierdude22: I swear...we have some hilarious people on this board. I can see the next post already:

    *Jump-rope*
     
  12. Pecker

    Pecker Retired Moderator
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    Actually, no, Javy.

    I have a cousin who's a cop. When he's off duty he uses his dick as a portable speed bump in Wal-Mart parking lots.
     
  13. Imported

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    mindseye: Anytime they need to perform maintenance on the Hubble, I just tie the spare parts to my head and then point it skyward while I get hard.

    Much cheaper than using the space shuttle, you know. But man, re-entry's a bitch!
     
  14. Imported

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    gwinea2000: Interesting...I try to avoid my erect penis for anything other than sex, as I'm afraid of damaging it.  However, if the situation calls for it.....

    ...like this one time a few years ago, there was a car wreck near my house.  The passenger was pinned beneath the flipped vehicle and was struggling for each breath.  As luck would have it, my penis was already out of my pants (I use it as a leash when taking my dog Rex for a walk) so I just swung it under the hood of the car, concentrated on a socially unacceptable act involving Anna Kournikova, my neighbor Mrs. Swanson, and various baking products and VOILA!  As I grew more and more erect, the passenger was eventually able to crawl out from the lifted vehicle and walk away unscathed.  

    The "Jaws of Life" felt a little "thank you" blowjob was in order, since I had done its work for it.   Unfortunately for me, when the paramedics pulled out the apparatus usually used to revive trapped crash victims, we found my chonch  unable to fit into its gaping mouth!   Thus, "The Phallus of Life" is the new name bestowed upon my unit by my neighbors.
     
  15. jonb

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    [quote author=mindseye link=board=clothing;num=1080866549;start=0#12 date=04/02/04 at 15:06:20]Anytime they need to perform maintenance on the Hubble, I just tie the spare parts to my head and then point it skyward while I get hard.

    Much cheaper than using the space shuttle, you know.  But man, re-entry's a bitch![/quote]
    And if you were Jewish, you wouldn't have any heat shielding! LOL

    Myself? Let's just say the last time I visited Norway, I was busy fucking a chick in Ushuaia to do enjoy the sights.
     
  16. Imported

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    Duo187: LoL, today I drove my car inot the river on accident, pulled out my penis and used it as a flotation device for the car.
     
  17. Pecker

    Pecker Retired Moderator
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    I've been banned from the Grizzly roller coaster at Paramount Kings Dominion in Virginia.

    Last time I rode it, one of the bumps dislodged my penis and it got wound around one of the wooden ties under the track, stopping the roller coaster cold.

    It took them three hours to untangle it, as it had threaded its way through 6 cars before anchoring itself.

    The only ones pissed, for some reason, were the guys on board. Maybe it was because after everyone was lowered to the ground by the fire department, the girls all came to visit me in the first aid station.
     
  18. Imported

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    gwinea2000: Y'all may have heard of and seen pictures of the legendary Loch Ness monster of Scotland. Truth be told, my similarly endowed relatives have been swimming in that Loch for centuries. They never thought that swimming in the nude would stir up such amusing stories.

    As a side-note, you may remember a few years ago there were multiple sitings of "Nessy" in the 'ol pond, all in a single day.

    Well, I guess that's what you get when you have a family reunion out at the lake.
     
  19. Imported

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    JoeAgain: That's OK, I always get wierd looks when I go out, I wear one normal shoe and one big-ass red clown shoe. I know it looks wierd, but after I wrap my cock around my leg I still have a few inches left over that I need to stuff in my shoe.
     
  20. Imported

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    cartman882: Whenever I get tired, I just pull down my pants and use my flaccid dick as a kickstand.
     
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