I wanna break up with my boyfriend... coz he doesnt want to douche!!!

[biguncut8]

Sounds more like a relationship/communication issue to me.

As for the douching part, this UK site has some sensible info on getting fucked, including this section on douching. FYI: rectal douching has nothing to do with hygiene. In fact, douching can INCREASE the risk of HIV and other infections. Neither vaginal nor rectal douching are recommended if HIV/STI are concerns.

Douching

A healthy rectum usually only contains shit when the bowel is full and so there is little need to wash it out. If you feel better doing this, or if you are embarking on 'deep arse play' (e.g. fisting) then you may want to douche. We recommend that you only ever use plain, clean water, preferably at body temperature. However, douching (even just with water) can irritate the lining of the arse, making it more vulnerable to infections, including HIV.3 You do not need antiseptics, disinfectants or anything else in a douche, as they can all irritate the lining of the arse even more.
Also, it is not recommended to use douches that attach to the shower, for a number of reasons (variable water pressure, you can't control the amount of water that goes in, difficult to keep clean). If you do want to douche then use the small bulb douche (some men use these to squirt lube up their arse) or the gravity fed bags. You can buy over the counter douches that usually contain 'additions' to help with things like constipation. Throw the additions away and rinse out the tube/bulb before you douche.

 

[erratic]

^^^Very pertinent information which I wish I had included in my post^^^


big clearly knows what he's talking about.

 

[D_Kitten_Kaboodle]

If you're still cruising, then wrap it for your own good!

If he's not sensitive to your needs after a serious heartfelt discussion then maybe it's time to reevaluate if you're truly meant to be in each others lives...If you can live with him dispite his lack of sanitation then maybe a condom is still the solution to use with him so you decrease the risks of uti's from him not maintaining a cleansing routine. It may be just the thing to make him rethink his positioning.

At least you feel bad, and it was your first time... but he seriously laugh at the condom full of shit

It appears you may have addressed the condom issue with him, but I want to elaborate on PSG's comments.

Not only is he careless about sanitation, and insensitive to your needs regarding good hygiene, but he also seems to have a very dominating spirit about him. If you are willing to let him dominate this part of your life....will it ony get worse as time goes on? Do you think he will listen to your opinion on other more important issues??

Just a thought.....and I agree 100% with PSG's comments (bolded) ...

 

[pierceplace]

It appears you may have addressed the condom issue with him, but I want to elaborate on PSG's comments.

Not only is he careless about sanitation, and insensitive to your needs regarding good hygiene, but he also seems to have a very dominating spirit about him. If you are willing to let him dominate this part of your life....will it ony get worse as time goes on? Do you think he will listen to your opinion on other more important issues??

Just a thought.....and I agree 100% with PSG's comments (bolded) ...

I know! condom is a must, its not like he's gonna douche and I'm gonna fuck him bareback, and you're right... that ''I dont give a fuck'' way of handling this, is worst than the shit itself

 

[bored2009]

I never bottom with out douching first. Not only to do with the sanitation issue and the OCD habit I have of it, but also the fact that anal sex for me is very uncomfortable with out douching. More so to the extent of it hurting me, and its not a good "hurt" if you get what I mean.

Everyone is different. You simply nee to talk to him more, and if you two can not work it out maybe its best you two do not have anal sex.

 

[Lakeshore]

Clean up or clear out. It's so easy to prepare beforehand.

 

[willywuverbb]

I agree with Hairyversmuscle. He's lazy! Tell him he can shit or get off the stump! You might try fucking in the morning just after waking. My BF and I are both vs and before we get out of bed we fuck 90 % of the time with no fear or problem with striking oil. I'm 8,he's 9 and larger cocks will usually encounter more $%# than others....

 

[B_jasonbig]

Weetabix

 

[FuzzyKen]

In all honesty, I am in a relationship and every now and then my other half does not get cleaned out as well as would be preferred before anal sex. This is an act of kindness on the part of the bottom on multiple levels.

In your lifetime as s top even if the bottom tries to clean out it is going to happen every once in a while. The idea is to minimize it and also remember that there are things in fecal matter that can translate to urethritis under the right circumstances.

In this case a condom is a preventative, but fecal matter can get between the condom and the penis and work it's way in so (been there and done that one) so it is not a guarantee.

Bottoms, please be kind to your tops and at least make a decent effort at a clean out before this kind of activity. For all but a few it kind of kills the mood as well. . . . .

 

[D_Abraham Slinkin]

I would refuse to top him. Just like I'd expect anyone to refuse to top me if I didn't. It's not only disgusting but unhygienic, the fecal-mouth route is one of the worst ways to get food poisoning.

 

[JetID]

Seems like it's unanimous. There are one of three choices, proferred repeatedly.

Clean out or you get no dick in your ass.

Clean out or we break up.

Clean out or we don't do anything tonight.

 

[biguncut8]

Well kiddies, there just HAPPENS to be a survey being conducted right now on this very topic. It's available in English, Spanish, French, Chinese and Russian (Thai, German, Portuguese on the way).

Do you douche? Don't you douche? Why? Why not?

The International Rectal Microbicide Advocates (IRMA) and researchers at the University of California, Los Angeles (UCLA) School of Public Health are conducting a brief survey to better understand the types of products people use rectally for anal sex including lubricants and enemas or douches. They are trying to gain a better understanding of rectal practices and behaviors that may affect the risk for sexually transmitted infections among people who practice anal intercourse.

The brief, anonymous survey (in English, Spanish, French, Russian and Chinese), can be found here http://www.keysurvey.com/survey/382277/d7a7/ . Men, women, and transgendered individuals are invited to participate - whether you use rectal douches/enemas or not.

 

[D_Randy_Cox]

hmmm, gotta put this out there too... Considering this site, and the fact that I barely qualify at seven inches...
How many of you also have this happen?
I have hit the 2nd sphincter on a few guys who had cleaned out and unleashed that which they thought was safe. It happens, you know... They've always been embarrassed and I was always wrapped, but still there's the stop and the cleanup.
The tops in this site must be used to that occurring!

 

[HappyBoi]

Wow, I can't believe everyone is supporting the threadstarter.

You're gonna break up with your boyfriend because he doesn't douche? Wow, love really goes a long way, doesn't it? Pathetic.

And you're still qruiseing? You're a horrible boyfriend! I hope he dumps you.


I've never douched, and I don't want to either. Why the fuck should I have too? Sure, make sure you're clean but to squirt up water or whatever that thing does is overkill. Use a condom, be safe that way.
Why should the bottom be forced to do something like that? That's just stupid. If someone tried to force me into it I'd dump them so hard.

 

[pierceplace]

Wow, I can't believe everyone is supporting the threadstarter.

You're gonna break up with your boyfriend because he doesn't douche? Wow, love really goes a long way, doesn't it? Pathetic.

And you're still qruiseing? You're a horrible boyfriend! I hope he dumps you.


I've never douched, and I don't want to either. Why the fuck should I have too? Sure, make sure you're clean but to squirt up water or whatever that thing does is overkill. Use a condom, be safe that way.
Why should the bottom be forced to do something like that? That's just stupid. If someone tried to force me into it I'd dump them so hard.

Boy if you never eat... there's no point in douching

 

[D_Bob_Crotchitch]

Why don't you trade roles for a while. You be the bottom, and he'll be the top. You can douche every single day with Summer's Eve. You'll be fresh as a daisy.

 

[pizauk]

yeah is a bit gross getting shit on your cock or theirs and a total turn off

 

[wappingite]

hmmm, gotta put this out there too... Considering this site, and the fact that I barely qualify at seven inches...
How many of you also have this happen?
I have hit the 2nd sphincter on a few guys who had cleaned out and unleashed that which they thought was safe. It happens, you know... They've always been embarrassed and I was always wrapped, but still there's the stop and the cleanup.
The tops in this site must be used to that occurring!

Yep, that was my point as well. The same thing regularly happens to me, and I would never give anyone a hard time over it. Either these so-called tops are "full of shit" themselves or they pop off after a minute or two of pounding....after forcing their bottom partner to sluice out with a firehose out of fear of seeing something brown.

There's nothing worse than a selfish sex partner. This happens in porn, it's just edited out.

Karma will get them though....in their 80's or 90's or beyond when their partner refuses to wipe their bum and decides to leave because it's "gross". They will be sitting alone in their own crap. uke:

 

[pierceplace]

yeah is a bit gross getting shit on your cock or theirs and a total turn off

Totes... and I clarify the cruissing part, is not big deal, its just sex... and being just sex people are more concious of anal hygiene... than my boyfriend..

 

[prisioner]

your boyfriend is gross