I want a baby in my ass womb.

Discussion in 'Et Cetera, Et Cetera' started by marleyisalegend, Oct 7, 2008.

  1. marleyisalegend

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    But God denies me this gift because he is a homophobe. And why does spell checker say that homophobe is incorrect and the only alternative word/spelling is homophone? Why?

    :banghead2:

    :borladuck:

    :sad:

    :439:

    :afro:

    :wtf1:

    :dead1:
     
  2. B_Nick8

    B_Nick8 New Member

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    So many queer-ys, so little time.
     
  3. marleyisalegend

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    Just in case creative design is just a crock of shit, I'm gonna start fisting myself to prep for labor.

    That way the baby will just shloop right out.
     
  4. tripod

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    God denies you this gift because he is pro-colon, not anti-gay. :Flush:

    Your post has made me wince in pain at the thought! lol!!!

    Reminds me of Stan's Dad's (Randy Marsh) record breaking 100kg turd.
     
    #4 tripod, Oct 7, 2008
    Last edited: Oct 7, 2008
  5. marleyisalegend

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    He could've made the colon more elastic if he wanted to.:mad:

    I'll be alright if I start fisting and doing kegals.
     
  6. tripod

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    According to Trey Parker and Matt Stone, Bono was birthed from his father's ass womb and nursed with his nipple... it seems plausible.

    You might need to start eating at P.F. Changs though...
     
  7. marleyisalegend

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    ^Okay, I'm gonna browse through the gallerys and find myself a baby daddy to plant his seed. How does that work, do I just pick one out and he's shipped to me? Do I have to pick him up?
     
  8. Northland

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    It's like this. In the beginning God created the Heavens and The Earth (and several other planets in case Earth didn't work out). Then he made Adam out of a pound of clay and tossed him into a walled off garden called Eden. These days that would be called a prison. Amazing, one person on Earth and he was in a holding cell.

    Anyway, God/Abba/Yahweh whatever name you tag him with, saw Adam was lonely and ripped out one of Adam's ribs and voila-Eve was created. Now Eve was a selfish conniving bitch and wanted everything and more. Including children. At first God put together some more clay and was about to make some children but then the bitch Eve got greedy and yanked the big delicious red apple off the apple tree in the garden-even though it was clearly marked-DO NOT TOUCH OR EAT FROM THIS TREE. Back then, schools hadn't made it to Earth so Eve hadn't learned to read. 'sides which, as said before she wanted everything.

    After the apple theft, God got angry and tossed Eve out of the garden and since Adam had gone and had premarital sex with her, he got tossed too. Then God decided that Eve could have children, but not made by him. He reached inside Eve and put a baby holder in her-these days we call it the uterus or something like that. He decided that women for all eternity would suffer the pain of giving birth. And that is why, as a man you cannot have a baby from your own body.


    But don't despair!


    I am reminded of the movie Rabbit Test from around 1978. At the time Billy Crystal was playing a qweer/gay/homey-sexual (back then the censors didn't allow homosexual to be said) on the television series Soap-he was Jody Dallas.

    In the film, Billy had cheap gratuitous sex with a female. It's okay, Billy was on the bottom, laying on his back so it was nearly gay. The movie was a riot for the time with Paul Lynde, Alice Ghostly, Norman Fell, Alex Rocco. Doris Roberts as Crystal's mother (years before Everybody Detests Raymond shot her to stardom), it even had former Munchkin Billy Barty and Joan Rivers, before her husband Edgar died and she became obsessed with plastic surgery. A good movie for it's time and for a rainy night.

    Anyway, the thing was young Billy was a virgin and his first time with a girl he got pregnant. Yup, he got himself knocked up. I can't recall how he had the baby and I suppose it's better that way. I just tell you this to help you realize that you too can have a baby, although it will involve heterosexual intercourse with a person with XX chromosomes. Perhaps you can place an ad here on LPSG in the Personal Ads section asking for a female with a hairy chest, a mustache and other masculine features (around here, you'll be sure to get several takers).

    Seriously, just look into adoption-it'll be a lot lest painful for you and you will be giving a child a loving home.

    (And in my spell check homophobe is an allowable word)


    (Additional information-after seeing Rabbit Test, I dashed across to the next theater and saw the really crappy I Wanna Hold Your Hand which was about the Beatles trip to the U.S. in 1964 and their appearance on the Ed Sullivan Show. It had among others, the late Paul Newman's daughter Susan in a major role as one of the Jersey girls desperate to see the Beatles perform in NYC)
     
  9. marleyisalegend

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    So let me get this straight, to have a baby in my ass womb I have to have sex with a female? That takes all the fun out of being gay!
     
  10. Principessa

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    I know this was meant to be a joke thread; but the only thing more annoying and visually disturbing than the word mangina is ass womb. :yuck:

     
  11. B_Think_Kink

    B_Think_Kink New Member

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    I was equally grossed out.
     
  12. Tickled Pink

    Tickled Pink New Member

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    "Where's it going to gestate, in a cardboard box?"

    (Monty Python's Life of Brian)
     
  13. B_ScaredLittleBoy

    B_ScaredLittleBoy New Member

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    Everyone knows that when a man's egg (hardboiled egg) has been fertilised by girl cooties, it gestates in the man's asserus. Close to the nine month gestation period a pregnant man must go to pre-anal classes to prepare for the birthing.

    This was common knowledge in my schoolyard. What sort of crazy 'schools' did you go to if you don't know basics of human anatomy such as asserus and ass womb :confused:
     
  14. killerb

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    My question is, if the baby hasn't arrived by the due date, which would you use to induce labor? Ex-lax or Dulcolax?
     
  15. D_Tintagel_Demondong

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    First you might need a big load of fertile seed deposited in your mangina. How on earth would this be accomplished?
     
  16. B_dumbcow

    B_dumbcow New Member

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    Exactly what I was thinking.
     
  17. B_FruitFly

    B_FruitFly New Member

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    eww..grosss
     
  18. marleyisalegend

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    Stop making fun of my ass womb!:frown1:

    ROTFLMAO!

    I won't need to. I've been fisting so the baby is sure to just schlooop right out.

    THANK YOU! Atleast somebody here understands anatomy.
     
  19. D_Portelay Porquesword

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    Add Rosebud to that. *gag*:yuck:

    Marley, leave your behind alone! You ain't right for the visual. LMAO

     
  20. marleyisalegend

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    Of all the insensitive things you could say to someone.... You can make it up to me by droppin' off a few kids in my ass pool. By kids I meant sperm, I'm aware of the usual use of the expression "dropping off kids in the pool."
     
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