I want him to be my BF, how should I ask

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by crowdpleaser, Jun 21, 2009.

  1. crowdpleaser

    crowdpleaser Member

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    Well, I have been going out with this guy for a couple months and am going to ask him to be my boyfriend, but I want it to be special and creative. What creative ways have all of you tried? He lives a busy life (he is an engineer during the week and a law student on weekends), so I have to find the right time to ask him and want it to be memorable as well. Any ideas?
     
  2. invisibleman

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    I don't know about making things special, just yet. What if you made it special, and he turns you down? If I did the special thing and he didn't want to be my boyfriend...I would feel REALLY awkward.

    I think that you both probably should talk about what would it be like to be serious boyfriends? Gay men aren't always on the same page when that subject is put out on the table. Sometimes what one's version of boyfriend is different. They may not want to commit to one guy. (Yeah, they are out there like that.) Some may want to live life a little before finalizing the boyfriend idea. Tell him what is your idea of being a boyfriend.

    But then, maybe you should wait a bit longer. You never know a person entirely in two months. And just enjoy each other and deal with each other in a real honest way.
     
  3. nudeyorker

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    Ummmmm... since you asked; I have always had a hard and fast rule about relationships. From the first date until you have been together for a year "You are having an affair". By the time a year rolls around you know each other inside and out and the fanfare of cementing the relationship are the issues you have discussed and some of the unspoken nuances that you share. I hate to be a buzz kill but you need to give it some time and let your relationship evolve.
     
  4. crowdpleaser

    crowdpleaser Member

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    Invisibleman,

    We have pretty much covered everything we expect in a relationship, and he knows i am going to ask him out but we both want it to be special. He told me how he has been asked out and how he has himself, now I am trying to get other ideas. I am 100% sure he will not turn me down, but I want him to remember how I ask him.
     
  5. invisibleman

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    Well, you can always do special things anytime. I think that it is important that you have fun being around each other. Be respectful. Be honest. Be able to communicate the good and the bad in the relationship. And there will be some ups and downs. And maybe more downs than ups. If you love each other, you will do what is right. That is the main thing.

    Asking for steady is doing just that. And you could do that on a picnic luncheon. Or an at dawn breakfast in bed. Whatever is memorable to the both of you. Whatever you say, say what you mean...not what you are expected to say.

     
    #5 invisibleman, Jun 21, 2009
    Last edited: Jun 21, 2009
  6. houtx48

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    hey fuckwad, you want to be a couple? simple and direct.
     
  7. invisibleman

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    Hehehe. That is memorable. :smile::rolleyes: (Leave out "fuckwad" when you say it though.:biggrin1:)
     
  8. Principessa

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  9. nudeyorker

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  10. invisibleman

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    "An affair also sounds temporary and doomed to failure."--NJQT

    It is funny how one word like "affair"--people can have entirely different perspectives on things.
     
  11. Corius

    Corius New Member

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    It really isn't that complicated in the real world:

    l. You meet an interesting person and you talk. Maybe you even express a wish to meet and talk again.

    2. Your meetings and your talks become more frequent and more lengthy; you are liking each other more and more.

    3. You have become friends without any formal agreement.

    4. You become more than just friends; you want and need to express your feelings for each other. You do a lot more touching and your hugs last longer.

    5. And, yes, there comes that point where you both want and need something more. The sex happens so naturally and seems so right because it confirms the bond that already exists between you. It is a revelatory event and you both become more articulate in telling each other of your affection.

    6. The sex is fantastic and you both know that what you have is something great.

    7. It's the old story that always seems new.
     
  12. xLostxNovemberx

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    Post-it notes on a mirror in the shape of a heart with one in the middle asking him to be yours or make it like a game.....hunt for clues in his apartment or yours.......idk I'm a hopeless romantic I could list a dozen ways to do it :)
     
  13. crowdpleaser

    crowdpleaser Member

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    Thanks lost november!

    Below is the kind of thing I am looking for. Any others?

     
  14. Pendlum

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    What kind of engineer is he? You could incorporate that into somehow. That is if you are a hands on kind of guy, DIYer etc. A fun one (at least to me) might to make a box that perpetually closes itself, but have a message pop up before it does it. LeaveMeAloneBox perpetually closes itself, should win some kind of award is what I'm talking about. As an engineer I think he would enjoy something like that. I believe there is a link on how to make one on that page as well, from MAKE magazine.

    Other than that I don't know, since I don't know much about him. To me special would be that something that really reflects me somehow, etc etc.

    Anyway, good luck.
     
  15. jerryhall

    jerryhall New Member

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    Just show him the pictures in your public profile here and ask him: do you want this all for yourself?
     
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