i want more sex!

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by B_babydolly21, Sep 25, 2009.

  1. B_babydolly21

    B_babydolly21 New Member

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    i m with my boyfriend and we don t have a lot of sex... most of the time we have blow jobs and hand jobs but NO SEX!!! Why ? He doesn't like me? or want me? and when we have sex (once at a week or two weeks normal sex!!!we see each other only weekends cause of the work) it's just "one number" and sometimes we end same thing oral sex... i don t understand it ... And i ask to be tied up... he say yes but always is no ... what should i do to make it work ?
     
  2. Coolhunter

    Coolhunter <img border="0" src="/images/badges/member.gif" wi

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    me and my 10,000 friends here can help u out...ur wish could be our desire ;-)
     
  3. Symphonic

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    ... You're human?
     
  4. B_babydolly21

    B_babydolly21 New Member

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    i want to make him want me
     
    #4 B_babydolly21, Sep 25, 2009
    Last edited: Sep 25, 2009
  5. B_babydolly21

    B_babydolly21 New Member

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    Last time i check i was human... why shouldn't be human?
    and ... about my bf i want HIM desire me... not anyone HIM to make him more interested in me
     
  6. Symphonic

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    Oh, sorry. Either way:

    1. Communicate with him about the problem specificially, ask him for his reasons and if he is depressed or work-stressed and whatnot. If he is it may lower his libido. Also make sure that his morals and ethics aren't dampening your activities and that he is comfortable with the act itself; if he's nervous he'll have an aversion to it.

    2. Realize that if he is fine but still just does not have the sex drive you might be incompatible.

    Then there's a few questions:

    1. Who leads? You or him? If you're always leading perhaps there's something to it (discomfort on his part). If he's always leading perhaps you need to lead more.

    2. Was this a sudden change or has it always been this way? Is he emotionally comfortable and what level of emotional bond does he need in order to engage in sex comfortably and completely with a partner? Of course ask if you're in that zone.

    3. Does he have any prevalent medical problems (STD's included), or is he suffering from lower testosterone or hear problems, etc.? Does he eat right, exercise, do drugs and substances, etc.?

    4. Traumatizing experiences that might cause aversions, are they present?

    5. Do you meet his needs as a person? You may have to ask directly. You might know. "Believing" so isn't good enough since this is actually the most important question.
     
    #6 Symphonic, Sep 25, 2009
    Last edited: Sep 25, 2009
  7. D_76froy

    D_76froy New Member

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    Tell him to start fucking you or you're leaving. There are lots of guys who would be happy to fuck you every day.
     
  8. Symphonic

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    Pressure and force are great ways to end on a sour note. Most problems are not solved via ultimatums.
     
  9. B_babydolly21

    B_babydolly21 New Member

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    nr 2: we are compatible... at least in bed we are... ( he told me something like that)
    out of bed we fight enough ... but he was always like that only that now ... i want more " i m trying to lead"
    in sex we lead both... more him... i guess
    3 don t know he has low testosterone didn't ask ... he eat ( don't worry) no drougs!!!
    4 traumatizing don t think so
    5 maybe in bed i meet his needs but ... we fight a lot ... i wish to stop fighting... and work it out... somehow.
     
  10. rob_just_rob

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    Why are you telling us this stuff?

    Forgive me for being cynical, but it sounds like you are fishing for compliments. Fishing for something, anyway.
     
  11. B_blessed boy

    B_blessed boy New Member

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    well u definately look like your very sexy physically. but love making stasrts far before u reach the bed room. try to give him tender touches little kisses and such way before u start moving into the bedroom and maybe he'll be more enthusiastic about it.

    But 4 me and i'm sure half the men here I KNOW.... doesnt take alot to get them enthused about regular long and experiment (sometimes) SEX
     
  12. D_Jared Padalicki

    D_Jared Padalicki Account Disabled

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    Why complaining, I just want sex
     
  13. Symphonic

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    You fight a lot... There's definitely a premise there fore relationship failure; if he leads it means more or less that he fulfills his needs via your person but probably doesn't feel attached on a level which requires the "giving" part of "give and take"; truth be told unless you talk to him about it clearly and come to terms with the fact that he might just not be that into you as a person things probably won't change.

    Incessant bickering is a hot sign for incompatibility.
     
  14. Enid

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    Play him some Cheap Trick.

    YouTube - Cheap Trick "I Want You To Want Me"


    All kidding aside, Symphonic has good advice.
    You can't make someone want you; you can only present him with the best possible you that you can be while feeling as sexy as you possibly can and go from there.
    You two may just not be all that compatible, but 1st talk to him about all that's bothering you without an accusatory tone. Seek to understand and communicate better and maybe you two can work things out. Good luck to both.
     
    #14 Enid, Sep 25, 2009
    Last edited: Sep 25, 2009
  15. D_Rawkesbye Deadheade

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    Is it necessary that he initiates it? I'm sure that if you initiate it it'll be just as effective.

    I know, only from reading your story, that there seem to be an emotional gap to be bridged between the two of you but could it be that he just doesn't know what flicks the switch for you, i.e. what particular things make you feel desired/appreciated/wanted/lusted after?

    Communication is probably what you would want to work on here. There's nothing as effective as having a good old honest conversation about your problems.

    Good luck, dear.
     
    #15 D_Rawkesbye Deadheade, Sep 25, 2009
    Last edited: Sep 25, 2009
  16. D_Leotols Toy

    D_Leotols Toy New Member

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    I don't want know your name, All I want, bang bang bang!
     
  17. dolfette

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    why exactly are you giving him hand jobs and blow jobs on demand if he is completely neglecting your needs?

    grow a pair, girly.
     
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