I want a guy to want me, a hot one. I want to see it in his face. I want him to chase me, innocently and with purpose. I want to live in a gay world. When I am just being myself, I want to not be judged for it. It sickens me when a man's reaction to me judging his body similarly to how he judges a woman's causes him to fear me so automatically. I want it to go away...I want it all to go away. I want to relax in my life so I don't have to constantly consider/remember my own gayness because it is such a focus to everyone around me.