Is it normal to feel the way you feel? Yes. I've felt that way before, just wanting to die.
But Is it concerning that you think about killing yourself? Also yes.
This is a season when death is on the news every day. So of course it's normal that we think about it.
It's also a season when we are involuntarily separated from others. So loneliness is also normal.
If thoughts of taking your own life have entered your mind, okay. We all get unwelcome thoughts from time to time.
It's also normal to wonder who would miss us if we were to die.
But if you're entertaining those thoughts; if you have begun to put a plan together of how you might accomplish it; that's an urgent situation. Please use the resources others have mentioned that are made available to you.
You mention lack of friends. I haven't met a soul in person who posts here, yet I consider many of them to be my friends.
Yes, we're weirdos who post on a big dick website. We're also regular people with regular lives and regular issues, who sometimes need to talk about those issues with others whose faces we don't know but whose personalities come shining through.
I hope you'll let us be your friends. And I hope you'll reach out for some qualified help sorting out your feelings. Because we would miss you.
