I wonder how many in here are still virgins... and why...?

[hud01]

I'm still a virgin =] I am saving myself for someone special. I know I want to top, and sometimes I really wish I didn't have my own rules... really!... I like being a virgin though, I attract a good group of people, plus I think it will be really special when I finally do it.

Actually the odds say it won't be. If you don't know what you are doing, how is it going to be special?

 

[Smooth88]

Actually the odds say it won't be. If you don't know what you are doing, how is it going to be special?

Yea honestly from everything I know the first time usually sucks.

 

[lopo2000]

You guys scare me....

 

[Corius]

IMHO, too many miss the importance of the relationship one has with the first partner. Millions of men (and women) have found that when two persons bond in a relationship that is more than just friendship sex tends to happen naturally and seems so right because it confirms the bond of love that already exists. Then the subsequent re-confirmations progress to the kind of sex that is fantastic.

Losing your virginity with someone you love makes it a memorable event, never mind the lack of expertise of the partners. This is not the kind of experience that is likely with a casual hook up!

 

[424365]

You guys scare me....

How so?

 

[Pendlum]

I am a virgin. I didn't vote on the poll because I feel none of the answers work for me.

 

[Rowan Ravenseed]

Ok so I'm sorry to be a damper on your parade but let me just point out some pros and cons to the whole "waiting for that special some-one" thing.

If you accept the fact that people change life changes and relationships change and realise that very very few couple be it hetero or homosexual last past the five year mark and even fewer last "forever" and that the "some-one special" special your waiting for is most likley not going to be your long term partner.... then typically your first time will most likley be some-what awkward a little embarrassing but still probably special.

However if on the other hand you firmly believe that your going to meet your prince charming give your flower to him and be with him for the rest of your life.... I'm really sorry to say but your first time will most likely be somewhat awkward, slightly embarrassing and followed with feeling of mass euphoria..... then six months down the track or whatever when the relationship deteriorates because you realise he's not the prince charming you first though he was your going to be left feeling cheated and bitter and deeply resentful toward the person the "Stole" your virginity.

I'm not saying you should rush out and loose your virginity to some random stranger because in my opinion the best way to explore your sexuality is with some-one you feel comfortable with. So don't stand around waiting for some-one to come along who fits your pre-concieved notions of what the ideal partner should be....... becuase he/she isn't out there and when you finally compromise with yourself and things dont end up the way all the pictures on your head described you be bitter about it.......

Just live your life meet some-one get comfortable with them and let it go.... dont stress it..... dont push it.... dont worry at it.... dont plan it.... just do it

 

[minimag]

I put dating on par with public speaking (something to avoid at all costs). . It didn't take long for me to come to the conclusion that the so-called "second date" doesn't actually exist in my reality. I'd have a better chance of seeing a bigfoot/yeti/sasquatch/Jacko.

 

[lopo2000]

How so?

Well, when these guys say how much of a fantasy my pre-conception of my first sex is, it makes me feel scared of even trying it...to be honest, I'm very very very illiterate when it comes to sex and the thought that the special person will be bored, annoyed, etc. is occupying my mind now...

I am a virgin. I didn't vote on the poll because I feel none of the answers work for me.

If you don't mind, what the reason is for you?

However if on the other hand you firmly believe that your going to meet your prince charming give your flower to him and be with him for the rest of your life.... I'm really sorry to say but your first time will most likely be somewhat awkward, slightly embarrassing and followed with feeling of mass euphoria..... then six months down the track or whatever when the relationship deteriorates because you realise he's not the prince charming you first though he was your going to be left feeling cheated and bitter and deeply resentful toward the person the "Stole" your virginity.

I'm not saying you should rush out and loose your virginity to some random stranger because in my opinion the best way to explore your sexuality is with some-one you feel comfortable with. So don't stand around waiting for some-one to come along who fits your pre-concieved notions of what the ideal partner should be....... becuase he/she isn't out there and when you finally compromise with yourself and things dont end up the way all the pictures on your head described you be bitter about it.......

Just live your life meet some-one get comfortable with them and let it go.... dont stress it..... dont push it.... dont worry at it.... dont plan it.... just do it

^this scares me... but it's the reality i guess...

I put dating on par with public speaking (something to avoid at all costs). . It didn't take long for me to come to the conclusion that the so-called "second date" doesn't actually exist in my reality. I'd have a better chance of seeing a bigfoot/yeti/sasquatch/Jacko.

lol, you made it sound like it's war in Palestine... hehe

 

[scarletfury]

I'm still a virgin because I haven't bothered with trying to get laid or get my way into a relationship at all. I'm certainly capable of it but I never once have bothered to try. I just say 'it happens when it happens'.

I'm tempted to lose it more and more as the days go by though and perhaps I ought to while I'm still young. I personally think virginity is alright and theres nothing wrong with staying as one but I don't think its anything special to be happy about honestly. I'm thinking about losing it to someone eventually. Although I'd rather lose it in a relationship, I might just consider a friend hooking me up or helping out with it, a friend who I can trust that is.

 

[lopo2000]

I'm still a virgin because I haven't bothered with trying to get laid or get my way into a relationship at all. I'm certainly capable of it but I never once have bothered to try. I just say 'it happens when it happens'.

I'm tempted to lose it more and more as the days go by though and perhaps I ought to while I'm still young. I personally think virginity is alright and theres nothing wrong with staying as one but I don't think its anything special to be happy about honestly. I'm thinking about losing it to someone eventually. Although I'd rather lose it in a relationship, I might just consider a friend hooking me up or helping out with it, a friend who I can trust that is.

I really like your attitude!

 

[willow78]

Ok so I'm sorry to be a damper on your parade but let me just point out some pros and cons to the whole "waiting for that special some-one" thing.

If you accept the fact that people change life changes and relationships change and realise that very very few couple be it hetero or homosexual last past the five year mark and even fewer last "forever" and that the "some-one special" special your waiting for is most likley not going to be your long term partner.... then typically your first time will most likley be some-what awkward a little embarrassing but still probably special.

However if on the other hand you firmly believe that your going to meet your prince charming give your flower to him and be with him for the rest of your life.... I'm really sorry to say but your first time will most likely be somewhat awkward, slightly embarrassing and followed with feeling of mass euphoria..... then six months down the track or whatever when the relationship deteriorates because you realise he's not the prince charming you first though he was your going to be left feeling cheated and bitter and deeply resentful toward the person the "Stole" your virginity.

I'm not saying you should rush out and loose your virginity to some random stranger because in my opinion the best way to explore your sexuality is with some-one you feel comfortable with. So don't stand around waiting for some-one to come along who fits your pre-concieved notions of what the ideal partner should be....... becuase he/she isn't out there and when you finally compromise with yourself and things dont end up the way all the pictures on your head described you be bitter about it.......

Just live your life meet some-one get comfortable with them and let it go.... dont stress it..... dont push it.... dont worry at it.... dont plan it.... just do it

I think 'special someone' and 'someone special' are actually two different people. Just because someone is waiting until they're in a relationship, doesn't mean they're waiting for THE ONE. I can only speak for myself when I say I want my first time to be with a boyfriend who understands my situation and will be gentle, sensitive and - most importantly - patient. I know that sounds like a lot to ask, but the first time for anyone is very important and when it comes to love and sex, there's nothing wrong with high ideals as long as they are realistic. I honestly believe what I want in a boyfriend is not unreasonable - just desired personality traits. If my fantasies were about measurements, hair-style or dress sense/style or personal appearance, that would be deluded. I suppose only being attracted to dark-skinned men does relate somewhat to appearance but I don't have rules about weight, facial features, body-hair or foreskin. I don't think my 'pre-conceived ideals' are too much to ask. I don't think there's anything unreasonable in wanting a long-term relationship, even if it only lasts a few months. Heartbreak is a part of life that people just have to deal with. Even I know that and I have zero experience.
Even though I'm looking for more than just a fuck, I'm certainly not a virgin by choice. One of the main reasons I'm still a virgin at my age (31) is because I simply haven't met ANYONE, special or otherwise. The other reasons I posted earlier.
I'm an easy-going person who generally goes with the flow. But even though I tell myself not to think about it, to just take life as it comes, it is something I worry about. I don't worry about the act itself - all my sexual fantasies are about intimacy and the possible partner rather than the actual sex - but I worry about whether or not I will meet someone. Even at my age, it's too much to expect to be in THE relationship, but surely I should have had SOMETHING by now!
If my post seems a bit all over the place, it's because I'm writing this at 1:30 in the morning when I'm half asleep and not articulating clearly. There's always been a large gap between knowing what I want to say/write and knowing how to say/write it - even when I'm wide awake at 10 in the morning!

 

[lopo2000]

I think 'special someone' and 'someone special' are actually two different people. Just because someone is waiting until they're in a relationship, doesn't mean they're waiting for THE ONE. I can only speak for myself when I say I want my first time to be with a boyfriend who understands my situation and will be gentle, sensitive and - most importantly - patient. I know that sounds like a lot to ask, but the first time for anyone is very important and when it comes to love and sex, there's nothing wrong with high ideals as long as they are realistic. I honestly believe what I want in a boyfriend is not unreasonable - just desired personality traits. If my fantasies were about measurements, hair-style or dress sense/style or personal appearance, that would be deluded. I suppose only being attracted to dark-skinned men does relate somewhat to appearance but I don't have rules about weight, facial features, body-hair or foreskin. I don't think my 'pre-conceived ideals' are too much to ask. I don't think there's anything unreasonable in wanting a long-term relationship, even if it only lasts a few months. Heartbreak is a part of life that people just have to deal with. Even I know that and I have zero experience.
Even though I'm looking for more than just a fuck, I'm certainly not a virgin by choice. One of the main reasons I'm still a virgin at my age (31) is because I simply haven't met ANYONE, special or otherwise. The other reasons I posted earlier.
I'm an easy-going person who generally goes with the flow. But even though I tell myself not to think about it, to just take life as it comes, it is something I worry about. I don't worry about the act itself - all my sexual fantasies are about intimacy and the possible partner rather than the actual sex - but I worry about whether or not I will meet someone. Even at my age, it's too much to expect to be in THE relationship, but surely I should have had SOMETHING by now!
If my post seems a bit all over the place, it's because I'm writing this at 1:30 in the morning when I'm half asleep and not articulating clearly. There's always been a large gap between knowing what I want to say/write and knowing how to say/write it - even when I'm wide awake at 10 in the morning!

I sincerely hopes that you find someone to share the rest of your life with... I sincerely do...because I believe that you're a very nice person and the one who has you as a boyfriend or husband will be very very lucky...

 

[D_Humper E Bogart]

Hey, someone brought up my thread (on page one of this one).
I would have thought the answer would have been "not enough money".

 

[lopo2000]

Hey, someone brought up my thread (on page one of this one).
I would have thought the answer would have been "not enough money".

Yup, I replied in that too.

 

[willow78]

I sincerely hopes that you find someone to share the rest of your life with... I sincerely do...because I believe that you're a very nice person and the one who has you as a boyfriend or husband will be very very lucky...

Thank you, you're very kind. :smile:

 

[lopo2000]

You're welcome... It's the truth though...

 

[minimag]

Unfortunately, I have to be pretty well lit-up before I can relax enough to interact with people on a social level. It takes a serious amount of alcohol to suppress my aversion to small-talk.

 

[lopo2000]

Unfortunately, I have to be pretty well lit-up before I can relax enough to interact with people on a social level. It takes a serious amount of alcohol to suppress my aversion to small-talk.

Alcohol? Have you tried relaxed breathing, because although it's common advice, but people mostly don't realize that their breathe is very unorganized that causes you not to relax at all...

 

[minimag]

Yes, alcohol. Simple breathing exercises can't change 35 years of voluntary and involuntary isolation and segregation. I've always been isolated from others, kept out of the group activities, and then get punished for not participating when allowed-in.

My main philosophy in life has evolved into: "leave me the hell alone."

My heart might be saying "please love me" but my brain says "get the f-ck away from me." THAT is what the alcohol is for.