I wonder how many in here are still virgins... and why...?

[ladsonbehr49]

something is to be said about being a virgin in this day and age. AIDS..

and you wont get the nickname of being a man whore or slut as it were and you can be proud that you choose to be wait for the right time instead of spreading your seed around and having different women have your babies and not supporting them from what I see in real life.

I take great pride that I have been with only 3 men in over 12 and only in a relationship and that being said, I am basically outcast in the gay commununity because of it. The community is sex addicts who would not know how to restrain themselves in general or have open relationships or triads or some nonsense like that.

stay a virgin till you find the right one and then wait for a few months and see if it will pan out guys and gals.

 

[ferfed]

interesting posts

 

[lopo2000]

ladsonbehr, thank you for your advice, I'll definitely take it into account...

 

[ferfed]

keep the thread alive

 

[lopo2000]

^ lol

 

[scarletfury]

I haven't had a GF or begun to date, that's the main reason I'm still a virgin. I really don't want to lose it to somebody random who I don't have at least a slight connection to.

I also fucking HATE hook-ups and everything like it.

 

[Crosz]

Reasons: self-esteem/self-confidence issues,unhealthy
self-image,body image issues,finances,defeatist attitude,
etc...

Also,I'm the kind who'll whine about being inexperienced
but never goes out & tries to meet anyone/make a
connection.

Personally, I think that it would be more embarrassing
to say that I had my first kiss/lost my virginity at 38 +..
than to say I've never had any sexual experiences.

 

[dirtydefiance]

I am but not by choice. I guess I just don't fit into many people's idea of a good looker. And I guess I'm not much of a people person.

I would hazard a guess that it's the latter part of your statement that could be the 'issue'. Not that there's any real 'issue' to speak of, you're 21, there's loads of time yet. But back to my point, I've slept with some very handsome men and I've slept with some not so handsome, 'average' (Not that it seems fair to call them that) men and I can genuinely say I had a lot more fun with the latter.

It's all about personality, for me anyway, I find a guy I can have a laugh and a good ol' chin wag with far sexier than someone who's just pretty to look at.

Confidence is always very sexy too..... you might not think you're much of a looker but you could be, and probably are, the embodiment of somebody's dream man!

 

[Frodo46888]

I've remained in the closet because of my employment. Yes, there are still occupations and situations where gays are not fully accepted. I love my work and it's been a difficult tradeoff, but life is full of compromises. Having witnessed relationships and marriages among many of my peers where sex virtually ceased after very few years, I may, in the long run, have made the right choice.

And in any case, life doesn't give us a "do over" option.

 

[B_subgirrl]

I am but not by choice. I guess I just don't fit into many people's idea of a good looker. And I guess I'm not much of a people person.

Well just based on looks, I would say you are the kind of person I would have sex with (if that's you in your avatar). But people can sense it when a person isn't confident or comfortable with themselves and it's a big turn off. My advice would be to assume that your looks are going to appeal to at least SOME women and get out there. Believe me, you are definitely not unattractive physically :smile:.

To all those who are just shy, lack self confidence or lack social skills:

Get out of the house and socialise with people. No one will offer you sex if you don't go out and interact with them.

Relax. If it takes alcohol to do so - use it! The uptight nervous guy sitting in the corner will only appeal to those who like to initiate virgins. If you relax you'll open your options up.

Don't worry so much about performing badly the first time. Most people will perform badly the first time. I know I was crap my first time. But I got better. And who knows - you might turn out to be really good.

Final piece of advice. If you aren't waiting for someone special just get out there and lose your damn virginity! The older you get, the more nervous you will get about it so get rid of it now.

 

[Crosz]

Final piece of advice. If you aren't waiting for someone special just get out there and lose your damn virginity! The older you get, the more nervous you will get about it so get rid of it now.

If only it was that easy subgirrl...I guess you could always use an escort/prostitute but by using a professional you'll be admitting
that you don't have the ability to attract someone & become intimate without paying for it.

I don't necessarily think that you become more nervous about it but it does become part of your identity;something that helps to define you.

(Judging by the thread & just anecdotally I think that there are more male virgins in their 30's + than female...Generally,women are afforded more romantic opportunities than men are)

 

[B_subgirrl]

If only it was that easy subgirrl...I guess you could always use an escort/prostitute but by using a professional you'll be admitting
that you don't have the ability to attract someone & become intimate without paying for it.

I don't necessarily think that you become more nervous about it but it does become part of your identity;something that helps to define you.

(Judging by the thread & just anecdotally I think that there are more male virgins in their 30's + than female...Generally,women are afforded more romantic opportunities than men are)

I know it's not always easy. And it does seem to be easier for women. I probably should have acknowledged that in my original post. But I do think it's a lot less easy if you are worrying about it. I think if you go out determined to find someone to have sex with, you are much more likely to find someone to have sex with than if you go out wondering if tonight will be the night. People who are determined to have sex seem to send out vibes.

Also, I don't think there's anything particularly wrong with seeing a prostitute for your first time. I realise that it wouldn't work for everyone, but for some it could help them get over the first time hurdle.

 

[Crosz]

I know it's not always easy. And it does seem to be easier for women.

Not only in terms of sexual activity;women are rarely rejected/rebuffed when making sexual overtures to a man.Also,I think (generally) women
are met with less hostility/contempt when making the first move....approaching;introducing one's self).Its a less riskier move for a woman,I think.

Also, I don't think there's anything particularly wrong with seeing a prostitute for your first time. I realise that it wouldn't work for everyone, but for some it could help them get over the first time hurdle.

For some of us...we are left with no choice but to see an escort;its the only way some will experience anything close to intimacy. A lot
of men lack the charm,charisma & confidence to be successful with women.

The problem with seeing an prostitute to get over the first time hurdle is the residual feelings afterwards.The shame/humiliation of having your first kiss/sexual experience so late in life (AND
having to pay for it);when most have gone through this as a rite of passage when they were children. I think many are tempted to use escorts but stop short of doing so because of the humiliation/depression they think they'll experience afterwards.

 

[nychild]

I used to be fat so i imagined that no one would be interested so I just learned to keep everyone at arms distance. Now I'm 26 and still waiting for my V card to be punched. I lost al the weight and try to let people in, but I am generally untrusting of people until I see enough of them to form an idea of who they are sans all the bullshit. On top of that i've been told that I'm very picky because I won't just date anyone.

 

[ThicknMoan]

My 22 year old friend is a virgin.

BUT it turns out he lied.

He is also Buddisht which means after committing the sin, he showers three times and he is a virgin again.

 

[sxjTheFirst]

My success (relatively speaking) with men is contrasted by the lack of any with women. And don't tell me just cause I am gay I can't be curious. I am a very gregarious person who talk on any subject on the world but somehow when it comes to asking women out I just can't do it. Maybe if I didn't ;live in a conservative (aka hypocritical) society.

As for meeting men I can just post a few pics online and wait for the invites. I am not into the club and partying scene.
I was a virgin till 26 and it was a combination of waiting for the right situation (not the right guy) and low confidence when it came to the dating game. I finally did it with a drunk straight friend - wasn't the best of experiences but once off the block there was no stopping me.

 

[424365]

Apparently my physical appearance is intimidating to people so I am avoided. Its all very depressing.

 

[sxjTheFirst]

Apparently my physical appearance is intimidating to people so I am avoided. Its all very depressing.

I wouldn't avoid you!

 

[B_subgirrl]

Apparently my physical appearance is intimidating to people so I am avoided. Its all very depressing.

You're much too young for me but if you ever come to Australia I'll help you out. No intimidation here :biggrin1:

 

[TADA401]

I'm still a virgin.
I dont know why people fuss about it.