Identical Twins and Sexuality

[Balance1771]

Hey Group,

I am curious about twin sexuality and thought this might be interesting place to see what questions, information, or ideas were out there.

I am mostly interested in this topic because I have two cousins (female) and two good friends (male) that are identical twins. Interestingly, in each set, there is a gay twin and one straight. According to studies, identical twins share the same sexuality just a little more than 50% of the time. What's even more interesting is the strain it has caused on their twin relationships.

It would be great to hear from people who have experience with this, or even hear from identical twins that are members!

 

[D_Elijah_MorganWood]

My cousins are both straight.
I knew another set of identical twins growing up and they both appeared to be gay although I couldn't confirm it (gaydar).

 

[Balance1771]

I've also thought it must be a very difficult situation for one twin to come out to the other if they had different sexualities. You spend your entire life sharing everything and having so much in common - and then your sexual preference is different.

 

[AMikkell]

According to studies, identical twins share the same sexuality just a little more than 50% of the time.

That's strange, I didn't think the odds would be that. Why would they have an increased chance of differing in sexuality?

 

[Freddie53]

That's strange, I didn't think the odds would be that. Why would they have an increased chance of differing in sexuality?

I don't know the scientific reason for this. But it do know there is such a thing as identical mirror twins. The face you see in the mirror is reversed from what others see. Lettering on a sweat shirt is backwards when you look in the mirror. Mirrror twins are opposites in some areas. Sexual preference must be one area where the chances of two siblings having gay tendencies is great in mirror twins than other siblings. Just a guess here.

 

[novice_btm]

I know quite a few identical twins, and there are a few in my family too. I know both types, where one is gay and one is straight, and where both are gay. The pair that I know best, where one is straight and one is gay, are amazingly close. It's a non-issue, but I've never asked about the coming out process.

I've also never discussed the details with the three, both gay, sets that I know, but now I'm curious how they got to the "really? you too?" conversation. Now that I'm thinking about it, another pair that I knew when I was really young, had to turn out gay. Everyone always thought they were different because they were twins, but I think the "difference" was something else, and honestly, if there was a pair that was going to go the next step to being with each other, it would've been them. They were the giggly little ninny types, and had NO time for anyone else but each other. They always gave off the vibe that they were just tolerating even those of us they called their friends.

The pair whose outcome I'm most interested in, are actually two boys in my class that I volunteer teach. They're 13 now, and while they occasionally make naive somewhat anti-gay remarks, they set off my gaydar like crazy, and mine is just BAD. A guy I know, who has great gaydar, was at an event where they were too, and I asked him what he thought. I think his response was, "Are you completely retarded? They totally are, and one moreso than the other. The lesser may still go straight, but at least one of them is going mo."

 

[dcwrestlefan]

i would give my left nut to spend an evening with the brewer or hall twins. grrrrrrrrrrr. identical twins = extreme turnon. sorry.

signed, an evil nasty perverted awful person.

 

[hars]

Hi. I am an identical twin- and gay. My brother, who passed away five years ago, was not. We never discussed sex or sexuality until our late teen years. And while he might have known I was gay (twins do know things about each other without speaking), I never admitted the fact until years later. We shared friends in the neighborhood and two happened to be gay - or at least bi-sexual. My brother seemd to be cool with this. He even went to gay bars with our friends from time to time but I am fully convinced he had no desires for men. He really liked his ladies. He enjoyed having friends who were different, though. All this was cool until our late 20s when I returned home for Thanksgiving and was greeted by my twin. I was shocked that, within minutes of my arrival, he lashed out at me for being gay. This went on for a good twenty minutes. I never understood where this frustration came from but it was as though he'd been asked too many times about his gay twin. I think this eventualy put him in a difficult position that he wasn't sure how to handle. We lived in a conservative city in the south. Not the most healthy atmosphere for thinking out of the norm. I think some people assume - maybe hope? - that if one twin is gay, the other is automatically also.

 

[Lex]

Balance--GREAT Subject!! Twin studies are POWERFUL stuff.

How about some research?

Twin Studies on Homosexuality

Why twin studies?

Twins potentially provide us with one of the most powerful techniques available for separating the influences of genetic and environmental factors on psychological and behavioural traits. An identical (monozygotic) twin has exactly the same genes as his cotwin. Fraternal (dizygotic) twins, on the other hand, are no more closely related genetically than are normal siblings, i.e. roughly 50% of their genes are the same.

If index cases for a particular trait (e.g. homosexuality) are selected from twins in a given population, then the rate of concordance for that trait between the index case and his or her cotwin can be compared for monozygotic and dizygotic twins. It is assumed that the environment in which each member of a twin pair is reared is virtually identical, as twins are identical in age, and tend to have very similar experiences during childhood (e.g. they get similar attention from their parents, attend the same schools, etc.). Therefore, any difference in the concordance rates for the trait between monozygotic and dizygotic twins must be due to the former sharing all of their genes and the latter only sharing half of their genes.


In other words, the rationale behind twin studies of homosexuality is that if there is a difference between the concordance rate for homosexuality in monozygotic twins and dizygotic twins, then this is strong evidence that there is some genetic component to the aetiology of homosexuality. However, if the concordance rate in monozygotic twins is not 100%, then environmental factors must be exerting some influence.

 

[B_Stronzo]

Well one thing is certain:

However they turn out sexuality-wise their first sexual experience is with each other.

Cool huh? You get to masturbate twice at the same time.

 

[D_Elijah_MorganWood]

Well one thing is certain:

However they turn out sexuality-wise their first sexual experience is with each other.

Cool huh? You get to masturbate twice at the same time.

Just when I start thinking you're frosty you say something like this :biggrin1:

 

[B_Stronzo]

Just when I start thinking you're frosty you say something like this :biggrin1:

That's the beauty of the place Sorcerer.

I can come across, on the surface, dreadfully proper and elitist. But truth be told it's just a handy façade. Under that icy posturing I'm just a foul slut with a highly perverted notion of things in general.

In fact I haven't even scratched the surface.

 

[Balance1771]

I appreciate you sharing this. I know that talking about family situations can be tough in here. Was your brother ever able to come to terms with you being gay? If so, was there a process to rebuilding the relationship?

Hi. I am an identical twin- and gay. My brother, who passed away five years ago, was not. We never discussed sex or sexuality until our late teen years. And while he might have known I was gay (twins do know things about each other without speaking), I never admitted the fact until years later. We shared friends in the neighborhood and two happened to be gay - or at least bi-sexual. My brother seemd to be cool with this. He even went to gay bars with our friends from time to time but I am fully convinced he had no desires for men. He really liked his ladies. He enjoyed having friends who were different, though. All this was cool until our late 20s when I returned home for Thanksgiving and was greeted by my twin. I was shocked that, within minutes of my arrival, he lashed out at me for being gay. This went on for a good twenty minutes. I never understood where this frustration came from but it was as though he'd been asked too many times about his gay twin. I think this eventualy put him in a difficult position that he wasn't sure how to handle. We lived in a conservative city in the south. Not the most healthy atmosphere for thinking out of the norm. I think some people assume - maybe hope? - that if one twin is gay, the other is automatically also.

 

[hars]

Thanks Balance.
After the Thanksgiving event, he and I never fully discussed my being gay. Even though he expressed disappointment, deep inside I believe (and felt then, too) that he wanted to understand and accept the fact. I know/knew him. I think he had trouble dealing with society's judgement of the situation. And I felt for him. I physically left the area. He didn't.
We tried to rebuild our relationship - each trying in his own way to make steps forward. But it was always strained. Too bad, eh? We meant well; there was sincerity.
And as for difficulty in talking about family situations, I find it kind of refreshing, really. I think many people don't ask enough questions. And I like talking about my brother, however strained or great it was. Thanks again.

 

[Balance1771]

Hars,

Thank you again for this post. Do you (or anyone else) have any advice for how to mend these relationships? It is hard to see these bonds so strained over something so trivial as sexuality. Maybe it will just take time.

 

[hars]

Good question. And - I have no single answer, sorry to say. I'm guessing that this would differ from relationship to relationship.
I think, though, that constant attempts at communication and - gently - approaching the subject of sexuality are good to try. As I mentioned, I think my brother wanted to understand and accept the fact. But I think external influences/social pressure had an influence.

 

[chris28]

Growing up my brother and I were as close as most assume twins are. At about 15 however, we began to grow somewhat apart developing different friendship as well as different interests. And, at 15, it was actually my brother who told me I was gay rather than me telling him. There was no hurt, disappointment or accusations just a real brother heart to heart that might be special among twins. Although my brother is straight we are closer today (at 28) than we were at 15 and consider the other their best friend. Ironically my boyfriend of 5 years is often times jealous of my brother while my sister-in-law doesn't seem to have the same problem and we get along terrifically. Also, having an identical twin is the reason you'll never see my picture posted on this or any other forum.

 

[Balance1771]

That's interesting that he approached you about your sexuality. The twins I know avoid the subject like the plague - just doesn't come up. I also think it's fantastic that he is so comfortable with your sexuality. Why do you think he is so comfortable with it? I would like more than anything to see some mended fences between the twins I know - just not sure how it can happen.

You know what is the most interesting thing about this post so far....there haven't been any twins that are both gay or bi. I find that interesting - someone mentioned earlier that mirror twins tend to have different sexualities. I looked into my cousins and friends and, yep, they are both "mirror" twins. One is left handed and the other is right. Is that the case with other members who have a twin with a different sexual orientation?

 

[cruztbone]

PARDON MY SHOUTING, BUT: didnt any of you see "60 minutes" on CBS sunday night from 7-8pm? This old fogie show , which i have watched faithfully since i was a teen in 1968, featured reporter Leslie Stahl . She did a 15 minute investigation of Northwestern university's study into identical twins. fascinating conclusions? among men only, younger male siblings of older brothers have a much higher likelihood of being gay, if they are right-handed. the oldest brother has a 2% likelihood of being gay, and the percentage dramatically increases as more sons are born. Leslie Stahl made the assertion that this is proof that gayness is genetic, and neither a lifestyle nor an environmental mistake.

DO YOU YOUNG ONES KNOW HOW LONG WE MIDDLE- AGED GAY MEN HAVE WAITED TO HEAR SOME TRUTH ABOUT US ON NETWORK TV?

I practically wept in front of the TV. no, it is not nirvana, but it is a HUGE STEP away from the ignorance and foolish myths circulated about men like me for EONS.

Watch out James Dobson and religious right zealots! that cracking noise is your church of hate's foundation breaking up underneath you in an earthquake of irrefutable scientific fact.

 

[Freddie53]

"Watch out James Dobson and religious right zealots! that cracking noise is your church of hate's foundation breaking up underneath you in an earthquake of irrefutable scientific fact." cruztbone

Preach on cruztbone. Keep in mind that you will never find this "hate foundation" anywhere in the words of Jesus who is the founder of the church. But then, Jesus, said there would be false prophets..... could James Dobson be one of them?

They certainly are "off the mark" on this subject.