IDENTIFICANDO REDFLAGS - IDENTIFY REDFLAGS

[couplebunny]

Gostei de um cara esse ano, ele não é exatamente um lindo, tem seu charme, mais velho que eu uns 13 anos ou mais, achei que ele fosse gay, e depois descobri que ele era divorciado e bi, até cheguei a acreditar que ele tivesse se separado para assumir sua sexualidade e encontrar alguém, porém ele mesmo flertando comigo já tinha uma namorada, e sabe quantas em secreto, ele é daqueles homens que gosta de conquistar e não se apega, gosta de ser validado e se sentir atraente, ele se cuida de certa forma.

Assim que identifiquei o comportamento dele de REDFLAG, o trato de forma educada e mantenho distância, desde que me conheceu o seu interesse era apenas o casual, fazer o ativo e ser chupado, eu faria o papel de passivo, porém as coisas mudaram de figura quando ele percebeu que sou um gay masculino e versátil, na configuração Bi dele a preferência maior é por mulher e eu só teria chance se eu fosse afeminado e atuasse como estritamente passivo.

Sem pensar duas vezes eu desisti desse envolvimento, não é o tipo de pessoa que busco, detesto casual e odeio mais ainda ser tratado como objeto de prazer, a paixão inicial que eu tinha por ele se transformou em desistência, graças ao meu olhar crítico pude identificar as redflags a tempo de evitar me envolver com ele, nunca tivemos nada.

Fico o alerta, nunca deixe a atração te cegar e você não ver os sinais de comportamentos abusivos ou tóxicos das pessoas, isso irá evitar muitos arrependimentos futuros e frustrações.

Beijo lindos! se cuidem...

 

[couplebunny]

ENGLISH

I liked a guy this year. He's not exactly handsome, but he has his charm. He's about 13 years older than me, or so. I thought he was gay, and then I found out he was divorced and bisexual. I even believed he had separated to embrace his sexuality and find someone, but even though he was flirting with me, he already had a girlfriend, and who knows how many secretly. He's one of those men who likes to pursue and doesn't get attached; he likes to be validated and feel attractive. He takes care of himself in a certain way.

As soon as I identified his red flag behavior, I treated him politely and kept my distance. Since he met me, his interest was only casual—being the active one and receiving oral sex, and I would play the passive role. However, things changed when he realized I'm a masculine and versatile gay man. In his bisexual configuration, his preference is for women, and I would only have a chance if I were effeminate and acted strictly passive.

Without a second thought, I gave up on that involvement. He's not the type of person I'm looking for. I detest casual relationships and hate even more being treated as an object of pleasure. The initial passion I had for him turned into giving up. Thanks to my critical eye, I was able to identify the red flags in time to avoid getting involved with him. We never had anything.

Let this serve as a warning: never let attraction blind you and prevent you from seeing the signs of abusive or toxic behavior in others. This will prevent many future regrets and frustrations.

Kisses, beautiful people! Take care...

 

[couplebunny]

ESPAÑOL

Este año me gustó un chico. No es precisamente guapo, pero tiene su encanto. Es unos 13 años mayor que yo, más o menos. Pensé que era gay, y luego descubrí que estaba divorciado y era bisexual. Incluso creí que se había separado para abrazar su sexualidad y encontrar a alguien, pero aunque coqueteaba conmigo, ya tenía novia, y quién sabe cuántas en secreto. Es de esos hombres a los que les gusta perseguir y no encariñarse; le gusta sentirse reconocido y atractivo. Se cuida a sí mismo de cierta manera.

En cuanto identifiqué su comportamiento de alerta, lo traté con educación y mantuve las distancias. Desde que me conoció, su interés era solo casual: era el activo y recibía sexo oral, y yo el pasivo. Sin embargo, las cosas cambiaron cuando se dio cuenta de que soy un hombre gay, masculino y versátil. En su configuración bisexual, prefiere a las mujeres, y yo solo tendría una oportunidad si fuera afeminado y actuara estrictamente pasivo.

Sin pensarlo dos veces, renuncié a esa relación. No es el tipo de persona que busco. Detesto las relaciones casuales y odio aún más que me traten como un objeto de placer. La pasión inicial que sentía por él se convirtió en una renuncia. Gracias a mi ojo crítico, pude identificar las señales de alerta a tiempo para evitar involucrarme con él. Nunca tuvimos nada.

Que esto te sirva de advertencia: nunca dejes que la atracción te ciegue y te impida ver las señales de comportamiento abusivo o tóxico en los demás. Esto evitará muchos arrepentimientos y frustraciones en el futuro.

¡Besos, gente guapa! Cuídense...

 

[befreakytomebabe]

ENGLISH

I liked a guy this year. He's not exactly handsome, but he has his charm. He's about 13 years older than me, or so. I thought he was gay, and then I found out he was divorced and bisexual. I even believed he had separated to embrace his sexuality and find someone, but even though he was flirting with me, he already had a girlfriend, and who knows how many secretly. He's one of those men who likes to pursue and doesn't get attached; he likes to be validated and feel attractive. He takes care of himself in a certain way.

As soon as I identified his red flag behavior, I treated him politely and kept my distance. Since he met me, his interest was only casual—being the active one and receiving oral sex, and I would play the passive role. However, things changed when he realized I'm a masculine and versatile gay man. In his bisexual configuration, his preference is for women, and I would only have a chance if I were effeminate and acted strictly passive.

Without a second thought, I gave up on that involvement. He's not the type of person I'm looking for. I detest casual relationships and hate even more being treated as an object of pleasure. The initial passion I had for him turned into giving up. Thanks to my critical eye, I was able to identify the red flags in time to avoid getting involved with him. We never had anything.

Let this serve as a warning: never let attraction blind you and prevent you from seeing the signs of abusive or toxic behavior in others. This will prevent many future regrets and frustrations.

Kisses, beautiful people! Take care...

I'm kyna glad you were able to hop off before it was too late. Realising some attractions are not meant to blossom into deeper connections is a real essential skill today, and I get where you're coming from.

If a relationship is mutually agreed upon to be casual, i don't think it's a problem since that's what was discussed. If it starts to develop to more, one would like to think well and communicate before making any concrete moves. That's how I think I'd go about it.

As for the treatment as merely a sexual convenience is a big NO for anybody who looks to be respected so that's a win for you for detaching.


I also like that you type in English too..it's helpful and inclusive

Take care of you too, you'll meet your person who you align with. Sha no go settle for nonsense.