Idiotic ways we injure ourselves

[Kotchanski]

So I was sat in chat and managed to smack my knee on my desk and upon telling the room a conversation started about various other stupid things we do around the home that result in various degrees of pain.

It gave me such a giggle I thought I'd come ask the rest of you about your idiotic pain inflicting experiences within your own homes.

 

[nudeyorker]

I have a low japanese table that is the perfect height to cause shin pain in the middle of the night or after a couple cocktails.

 

[MickeyLee]

i glued a birdhouse to my face. when i tried the "band-aid rip-off" approach to bird house removal i managed to flip backward off the stool. hit the wall behind me. causing a hand tool avalanche. but i got the birdhouse unstuck from my face with only minor skin loss and a few bruises.

oh.. and once i got a splinter in my tongue while eating a popsicle. i think the popsicle was cherry flavored. good, but not worth a splinter. :frown:

 

[Andy627]

OMG MickeyLee I love you! Your story is beautiful and brought me to tears

 

[HungThickProf]

i glued a birdhouse to my face. when i tried the "band-aid rip-off" approach to bird house removal i managed to flip backward off the stool. hit the wall behind me. causing a hand tool avalanche. but i got the birdhouse unstuck from my face with only minor skin loss and a few bruises.

oh.. and once i got a splinter in my tongue while eating a popsicle. i think the popsicle was cherry flavored. good, but not worth a splinter. :frown:

I just have to ask... what in gay hell?!

 

[D_Tim McGnaw]

I break my pinky toe about twice a month either on the expensive beech wood towel wrack which is propped against my bathroom wall or on my steel and marble coffee table. I know the fucking things are there! How the fuck do I miss them? I swear people must think I have a club foot or something, the amount of time I spend limping.

 

[mitchymo]

I think poking yourself in the eye is about the dumbest.

 

[Kotchanski]

i glued a birdhouse to my face. when i tried the "band-aid rip-off" approach to bird house removal i managed to flip backward off the stool. hit the wall behind me. causing a hand tool avalanche. but i got the birdhouse unstuck from my face with only minor skin loss and a few bruises.

oh.. and once i got a splinter in my tongue while eating a popsicle. i think the popsicle was cherry flavored. good, but not worth a splinter. :frown:

I tried to read that to hubby, but between laughing and crying he had to come read it himself

 

[Andy627]

I was in the kitchen making a peanut butter and banana sandwich... In my kitchen we have very tall cupboards and I'm a tall guy (6' 3'')... So I'm standing there at the counter making my sandwich with the door wide open to my left... I went to go grab the bananas on the counter TO my left, and didn't realize the cupboard door was still wide the fuck open and locked because it couldn't go any further back... I turn, walk and SLAMMED my face into the cupboard door. No visual injuries... just emotional damage and a sore jaw...


Another time, I was standing in pretty much the same spot, leaned over to open the other cupboard door, once again misjudging that the door was too close to the other cupboard door i was opening, and when I opened the door, it slide against the other door, causing it to hit my face

 

[Kotchanski]

I think poking yourself in the eye is about the dumbest.

Oh I do that all the time... I also frequently hurt my finger when I go to rub my eyes or scratch one and forget I have my glasses on (I don't wear them often)

 

[D_Tim McGnaw]

Oh and I'm perpetually pouring my own hot tea all over myself too, missing my mouth and catching my lap instead

 

[Kotchanski]

My husband just reminded me, love that he is...

He has a nasty habit of stretching while rolling over in bed, and regularly elbows me in the face. After one unfortunate night resulting in a bruised and very painful nose, I was sat at my desk dying of thirst so went to reach the bottle of coke I usually have on the floor to the left of my chair.

Couldn't find it and noticed the dog had knocked it and it had rolled slightly further off to the left and a little under the desk, so I start leaning over to get it, stretching as far as I can.

He's off somewhere else in the house and hears me scream as I smack the side of my nose on the top of the desk.

Later the same day we have people coming over, so I'm doing a last min clean up and bend to grab a piece of paper that's fallen under his side of the desk and come down with the bottom of my nose straight on the corner of the desk.

That day was not a good day to be my nose :redface:

 

[D_Tim McGnaw]

I shut my hands in doors all the time too, god I'm clumsy, I fell headfirst into a punchbowl at a wake once, and cut my ear really badly.

 

[HiddenLacey]

My boyfriend like's to leave his big boots in random place's through out the house.... last year I hit one so hard I broke my 4th and 5th toe

I'm on an organic kick... opened a jar of peanut butter (which the oil is on top you have to stir it in) anyway I spilled it all over the counter... not thinking to check the floor... I slid across the floor first on my feet and a few seconds later on my butt I'm not sure how fast I was going when I hit my butt, however it hurt really bad

 

[UncleBob]

I was just talking about this to someone!

I sprained my ankle the very first time I went to the gym -- I misjudged the distance from the treadmill to the floor, and when I stepped off, I fell, and my ankle immediately started to swell.

I walked into a tree branch once and came within millimeters of losing my left eye.

I was lying in bed using my laptop and I leaned forward slightly and the computer fell toward me and whapped me right on the forehead.

I don't remember how many times I've broken toes.

Hell, it's not even notable anymore when I hurt myself . . .

 

[DiscoBoy]

As children, we used to play hide-and-go-seek-in-the-dark in my basement quite often. The staircase was home-free, but there was this closet that sort of jutted out into the rest of the basement just a few metres to the left of said staircase.

During one such glorious game, after having duped the 'it' person brilliantly with my super awesome hiding spot (in a baby chair, I believe), I ran at top speed to the staircase to be first home-free...but my direction was a tad off and I ran smack into the fucking wall, and fell right on to my back. I swear I must've caused permanent damage to my face. Game over, lemme tell you.

Earlier today, I was walking through my brother's room and he had this giant cardboard box in the middle of it from the TV he just recently bought. He refuses to throw out the box and it's really just in the way, so in a fit of rage I decided to kick it with my bare foot. Felt like I broke my toe, haha. Oh, the stupidity.

 

[D_Portelay Porquesword]

I wear flip flops during the summer.

one afternoon while out running errands, I stopped to go into K-Mart for some stuff.
As I was turning to get out the car, my right big toe nail caught on the lip of the door panel and broke clean off.

While vacuuming the carpet one afternoon, I noticed a piece of the joint panel on the back was missing. (Where the handle stem connects to the body) I reached down to touch it, thinking I might be able to feel if it was losing suction and inadvertently touched a metal piece that was exposed and burned the daylights out of the tip of my finger.

It was so hot, the blister came up instantly. Tssssss!

 

[rob_just_rob]

I was moving a heavy piece of furniture off a balcony today, using rope.

Without gloves, of course - despite having a pair reasonably close by.

I now have rope burns the like I've never seen. Not even in my bdsm days.

 

[luka82]

Well I almost burnt my friends house once while drinking Absinthe.
I thoght it was flaming in my mouth, so i spat it on his coffee table and it started burning, so then i used my hands to put out the fire, then the hands started burning as well, then i started smashing my face with my hands in order to put out the fire on my hands, so I burnt my eyebrows and some hair.
So when I put out the fire on me, I threw the orange juice on the coffee table and the flames were gone!
Five more people were in the room, they just sat there in shock, and didn`t know what to do.
We laughed later, but fuck I could have killed us all!
I know, I`m retarded::

 

[FRE]

I broke my leg in October 2006.

When I was in my brother's driveway and not even moving, my right boot slipped on wet and slippery pine needles causing me to drop my motorcycle (the white motorcycle in my gallery) onto my right leg. The bone came out about 6" above my ankle. Fortunately, it was covered by the boot, so I couldn't see it. I now have a titanium rod and 5 screws in the leg, but it's perfectly fine. It wasn't one of my more pleasant experiences.