Idiotic ways we injure ourselves

Gillette

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Lol IDK you sound as bad as both of us! I admit to injurying myself atleast once a week due to my inability to walk correctly:tongue:
I just happy knowing I'm not alone in providing slapstick comedy for everyone else. I too find that walls impede my progress and misjudging the number of stairs is a common occurrence.

I posted this before but it fits this thread.

Coaching Ringette (played on ice skates) then rollerskating at a staff party. The skating motions are the same so I was perfectly comfortable until someone called out to me and I turned sideways to stop. Not good. Made a mental note to use toe stops and was fine the rest of the night.

Next week coaching on ice, instructing the girls while skating backwards. All was well until I tried to use toe stops that weren't there and flopped in front of my team. They didn't buy my having done it on purpose.
 

HiddenLacey

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I just happy knowing I'm not alone in providing slapstick comedy for everyone else. I too find that walls impede my progress and misjudging the number of stairs is a common occurrence.

I posted this before but it fits this thread.

Coaching Ringette (played on ice skates) then rollerskating at a staff party. The skating motions are the same so I was perfectly comfortable until someone called out to me and I turned sideways to stop. Not good. Made a mental note to use toe stops and was fine the rest of the night.

Next week coaching on ice, instructing the girls while skating backwards. All was well until I tried to use toe stops that weren't there and flopped in front of my team. They didn't buy my having done it on purpose.

lol nope I was walking alittle to fast down a hallway in a neighboring facility slipped in something wet in the floor and took out two intern's:biggrin1: I throughly embarassed myself in front of the physican I was speaking with. It was of course his fault because I was almost running in heels to keep up with him MEN lol.
 

D_Andreas Sukov

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Two weeks in a row at Rugby training, i had someone kick the ball in the air only to be blinded by the sun and have it hit me in the Balls. I have no idea how a bacll coming down from the sky hit me there, but it did.

My housemate did a good one yesterday. He tried to put his foot on the arm of a chair to tie the laces but had his phone and wallet in his pocket, thus making it alittle less flexible than he imagined. As he went to put his foot up, it tightened he feel forward, the arm of the chair in his balls. (Come on! sack taps are the funniest)

Another two by him.

As i was cooking, he was trying to eat over the cooker to a plate on the otherside of it. His T-shirt was quite baggy and fell into the flames. He jumps around and goes "what do i do?" "Take it off yer prick!" *takes it off* "ahhh, i liked that shirt"

First week of moving in, we didnt know eachother and he bigs up his drinking skills. One night out, its a pound a pint at a club and the Sleaziest gay bar in town. We go to both. About 15 or so pints of snakebite later (Thats beer, cider and blackcurrent juice for those who dont know) Me and a girl get on top of a statue lion and joke around and get off. He does it, and slips as he gets off falling around 10 foot onto his face. First instict? sit on his back and ride him like a horse. He is bleeding and moaning everywhere, i keep calling him soft, make him wait whilst we all get kebabs.

Next morning, he is groaning in the dining room. I still dont know him too well and i think he must be jacking or something. I walk in and it turns out, he found a tooth enbedded in his lip, and as we helped him up, we helped snap the rest of his arm. Being hungover, i gave him some frozen peas and told him to hold it on them.


Im a real bastard when im THAT hungover.
 

Northland

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You have got to be some of the clumsiest oafs on the planet:biggrin1:.


My biggest injuries are shuffling about at night (too obtuse to turn on a lamp) and tripping over the carpet edge. Sometimes go forward, sometimes try straightening up to keep from falling and then keel backwards and fall and usually land in a tight space, sustaining strange scrapes.

The other I keep doing is sink-slipping. An older sink with a porcelain finish (the entire sink, including the outsides) which gets quite slippery when wet. Being next to the tub, I often hold it while reaching over to turn the valves for a shower. A few times, when in early morning groggies, I have swiftly gone over, sometimes landing head first in the tub.
 

HiddenLacey

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lol this thread is so great :) I've just spent the last 10 minutes laughing at this stuff. Ok so anyone ever stand in the shower and close your eyes while your rinsing your hair and lose your balance taking out the shower curtain and falling out completely on the floor. I've done this like 3 times! Anytime I close my eyes and lean back I have no balance any longer. Horrible thing is my dog likes to follow me everywhere so she's been laying there when I've fallen. It's a good thing I have a big dog because if I had a mini it would be dead long before now! It hate to think of getting old because I'm going to have broken bone's all the time.
 

TopDudeFtl

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How apropos this thread is. Last evening, I was exiting the bathroom that I have exited safely for the past six years numerous times...and slammed my left foot into the door jam. I smashed the pinky toe so hard that the skin came off the top edge of the toe & ripped the toenail almost completely off. For a time after that I thought I might have broken something. Thank fully I can walk on it now, but not last night.

When I was a child, I recall a time when I was trying to show off for a friend who just got a fancy brand new BMX bike. You know, fancy because it had hand brakes. Well, "Mr. Stuntman" that I was decided to show my friend how to do a stunt with his brand new bike. I rode hard up through a breezeway at our apartment building then tried to pedal backwards to engage the brake so that I could slide sideways up to the brick wall of the building. Imagine my surprise when the bike merely wiggled side to side then plowed directly into the brick wall smashing my face against it. Once the bike & I were pulled off the wall I was taken to the emergency room where I was told I had broken my nose in three places. Along with my nose, I totaled my glasses & my friend's brand new bike as well. I worked hard all that summer to pay to replace his bike.

I've kept that clumsy stigma all throughout my life. Much to the amusement of my partner & our friends. :redface:
 

yhtang

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How apropos this thread is. Last evening, I was exiting the bathroom that I have exited safely for the past six years numerous times...and slammed my left foot into the door jam. I smashed the pinky toe so hard that the skin came off the top edge of the toe & ripped the toenail almost completely off.

I winced reading this. I hope your toe is much better now.
 

D_Tim McGnaw

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I told Discoboy about this last week. I had guests from England visiting me last weekend and we went out on the town on the Friday night, we started off at one of Dublin's larger gay bars, having had more than a few glasses of Taitinger before leaving the apartment and we were in "high spirits" so to speak, so we had a few drinks in the bar, and decided to go upstairs to the outdoor smoking deck, and one of my friends said he'd be a couple of seconds getting another round of drinks in and follow us up.

Halfway up the stairs this friend tapped me on the shoulder and proffered me my luscious glistening fresh drink which I attempted to turn round and take from his hand. In the process I lost my footing, like majorly lost my footing. I then found myself several feet in the air falling down the stairs.

A young woman, who was about to ascend the stairs herself became my crash mat, I hit her head first in the face and knocked her out cold. Now apart from a lump on my own head I was uninjured, but this poor girl had to be taken off in an ambulance in case she had concussion, she'd been unconcious for a couple of minutes, I found out through a friend of a friend that she was fine, but boy did her friends give me the evil eye all night.

I've never been so mortified in my life! My friends kept miming my human canon-ball routine all night and laughing their heads off. Oh the shame! :(
 
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nudeyorker

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^ Oh I'm sorry about the mishap. Good thing there were no serious injuries. A similar thing happened to me several years ago. Only I was going down the stairs in a rush wearing clogs. There was a four person pile up at the bottom of the staircase with two people rushed to the hospital with broken bones.
 

HiddenLacey

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I told Discoboy about this last week. I had guests from England visiting me last weekend and we went out on the town on the Friday night, we started off at one of Dublin's larger gay bars, having had more than a few glasses of Taitinger before leaving the apartment and we were in "high spirits" so to speak, so we had a few drinks in the bar, and decided to go upstairs to the outdoor smoking deck, and one of my friends said he'd be a couple of seconds getting another round of drinks in a follow us up.

Halfway up the stairs this friend tapped me on the shoulder and proffered me my luscious glistening fresh drink which I attempted to turn round and take from his hand. In the process I lost my footing, like majorly lost my footing. I then found myself several feet in the air falling down the stairs.

A young woman, who was about to ascend the stairs herself became my crash mat, I hit her head first in the face and knocked her out cold. Now apart from a lump on my own head I was uninjured, but this poor girl had to be taken off in an ambulance in case she had concussion, she'd been unconcious for a couple of minutes, I found out through a friend of a friend that she was fine, but boy did her friends give me the evil eye all night.

I've never been so mortified in my life! My friends kept miming my human canon-ball routine all night and laughing their heads off. Oh the shame! :(

^ Oh I'm sorry about the mishap. Good thing there were no serious injuries. A similar thing happened to me several years ago. Only I was going down the stairs in a rush wearing clogs. There was a four person pile up at the bottom of the staircase with two people rushed to the hospital with broken bones.

You two are great:tongue: Isn't it wonderful to be so vertically challenged?
 

D_Tim McGnaw

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^ Oh I'm sorry about the mishap. Good thing there were no serious injuries. A similar thing happened to me several years ago. Only I was going down the stairs in a rush wearing clogs. There was a four person pile up at the bottom of the staircase with two people rushed to the hospital with broken bones.


Oh the perils of clogs Nudey! How the Dutch survive I'll never know :tongue:
 

thetramp

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I once was running my usual route and felt some pain in my feet, but i didn't know any reason for it, i was placing my shoes very cleanly, i could not think of where the pain came from, so i continued running for a couple of miles until it got so bad i couldn't go on, i then walked home about 3 or 4 miles under great pain, the next day i tried to get up and could not put any weight on my feet, went to the doctor and it turned out i had fractured it, and it would have been far less severe if i hadn't kept going on. That was pretty idiotic.

Another idiotic story is i was out with some friends and we ordered some flammable drinks we drink while they are on fire through a straw, so my friend bends down to drink his and my burning drink set the hair on fire. No real injury but one could have occurred from that, pretty idiotic too.
 

D_Tim McGnaw

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Oweee Oweee Oweeeeeeeee!

I just pulled the front door shut and it scraped over my big toe (I was barefoot) and tore the nail almost completely off! It's still anchored right at the base so I can't even pull it off instead I've had to try to strap it down with a bandaid, but it bled a bit and it's just incredibly painful and bloody and it makes me feel like passing out to touch or look at it!


Oweeee Oweee Oweeee! :frown1::worried::eek:uch::bigeyes2::crying::yuck::shock::scared1::tragedy::puppy_dog_eyes::eek:mfg:
 

HiddenLacey

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Oweee Oweee Oweeeeeeeee!

I just pulled the front door shut and it scraped over my big toe (I was barefoot) and tore the nail almost completely off! It's still anchored right at the base so I can't even pull it off instead I've had to try to strap it down with a bandaid, but it bled a bit and it's just incredibly painful and bloody and it makes me feel like passing out to touch or look at it!


Oweeee Oweee Oweeee! :frown1::worried::eek:uch::bigeyes2::crying::yuck::shock::scared1::tragedy::puppy_dog_eyes::eek:mfg:

Eww! It will probably fall off :eek:( Maybe you should go see a doctor and have them fix it?

Did you notice this is a silly sex injury topic?:tongue:
 

D_Tim McGnaw

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Eww! It will probably fall off :eek:( Maybe you should go see a doctor and have them fix it?

Did you notice this is a silly sex injury topic?:tongue:

Yeah was just on the phone to my Doc, she said I should just strap it down, elevate it and take painkillers, and wait for it to grow off of it's own accord, though she did say I could get it trimmed off if I needed it, but I think I'll wait till tomorrow for that, because it'll be less painful then.

Oh yeah posted in the wrong thread :eek::tongue: I can fix that though, I have the power! :tongue:


Edit: now it's in the right thread... and I'm going to be very high on painkillers all afternoon now.
 
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