if a girl at work rejects you and makes you feel like shit........

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by bigdog83, Apr 7, 2009.

  1. bigdog83

    bigdog83 Member

    Joined:
    Jul 30, 2007
    Messages:
    579
    Likes Received:
    5
    what would you do? now remember you guys are friends.....talk alot etc. even went out to lunch once before. you didnt pay, as to not make it seem like a date.

    when you ask her the second time, she rejects this lunch like a bitch......and your about to say "well you dont have to be a bitch about it"......but its on the job and decide to keep it cool.

    would you ignore her for being a bitch?
     
  2. B_cigarbabe

    B_cigarbabe New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 10, 2006
    Messages:
    4,005
    Likes Received:
    7
    Location:
    Boston,Mass.
    Why is she a bitch?
    Just because she does'nt want to go?
    Perhaps it isn't as personal as you're taking it to be?
    Maybe it's just a lousy day?
    cigarbabe:saevil:
     
  3. canuck_pa

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 28, 2007
    Messages:
    2,198
    Likes Received:
    125
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Beautiful Vancouver Canada
    So as not to cause tension in the office, I would say and do nothing . She may just be having a bad day and may not realize she was being unpleasant. I would continue to be nice to her and ask her to go out for lunch in a week or two. If she's still unpleasant I would just not ask her to go to lunch again but since you have to work with her I would continue to be nice.
     
  4. Wish-4-8

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 29, 2008
    Messages:
    2,808
    Likes Received:
    2
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    LA, California
    Why are you worried about it looking like a date, you being gay and all?
    Maybe she did not realize you were and was playing it safe. (it being at work and all)
    You should tell her. Chicks love gay guys.
    And about her being a bitch about it, that is just her loss.
     
  5. goodwood

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Aug 18, 2005
    Messages:
    1,804
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    36
    Location:
    Dallas/Ft. Worth, Texas
    i would just forget about the whole thing, go back to just office chit chat or talk as work requires and give her no attention whatsoever. be professional and pleasant of course, but drop it.
     
  6. Sklar

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jun 25, 2006
    Messages:
    1,279
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    156
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Washington state

    I'm confused by this part. Who didn't pay? You didn't pay and left her with the entire bill? If THAT'S the case, I'd be pissed off too.

    Sklar
     
  7. Lex

    Lex
    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jun 11, 2004
    Messages:
    9,536
    Likes Received:
    16
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    In Your Darkest Thoughts and Dreams
    I must be missing something. I don't get why she is a bitch because she did not want to go out with you for a second time. I would thank her for having lunch for me, tell her I respect her choice to not go on a date with me with the hopes that we can remain cordial at work as colleagues.

    Rejection happens to everyone and just because someone does not want to spend time with you does not automatically imply any character faults on the part of either of you.

    If you want to have success with women, I would suggest not thinking of the ones who spurn your advances as bitches. No woman I know appreciates that.
     
  8. sexplease

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Oct 23, 2006
    Messages:
    1,724
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    87
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Santa Monica CA
    remember: no matter what you think of that person - someone, somewhere is sick of their shit.
     
  9. josty

    josty Member

    Joined:
    Mar 30, 2007
    Messages:
    266
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    4
    Gender:
    Male
    Don't mix business with pleasure, doesn't usually work out well I think. Asking out a "friend" is always dangerous though, if it's not mutual you can doom your friendship. It's a risk you have to want to take.
     
  10. B_Bonky

    B_Bonky New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 16, 2007
    Messages:
    921
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    LA
    yeah, don't date, or try to date, the broads at work

    damn kids
     
  11. Priapus420

    Priapus420 New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 8, 2009
    Messages:
    7
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Stay in close contact, meet her friends, and build a social network. Cute coworkers have cute friends, and you don't have to deal with the drama at work. It's always good to make close, nonsexual relationships with an attractive girl or group of girls. I've used my clutch set of cute girls to help out in relationship troubles.
     
  12. LeeEJ

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jul 5, 2006
    Messages:
    1,471
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    4
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    DC
    +1; bigdog83, hopefully you paid for your part of the lunch and she only had to pay for hers.

    And, are you actually trying to date this girl? If you even think you are, stop it, and don't try. Dating coworkers rarely goes well, if ever.

    Lastly, don't change your mind so quickly about her. Just because she didn't go to lunch with you a second time (and besides, it's just lunch) doesn't make her a bitch.

    Speaking of "it's just lunch" -- there's a dating service in some cities called, "It's Just Lunch." They hook you up with other possible matches with the idea of meeting for lunch instead of a full-blown date. More personal than speed dating, less time commitment than a night out.
     
  13. B_Bonky

    B_Bonky New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 16, 2007
    Messages:
    921
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    LA
    IIRC "It's Just Lunch" charges somewhere along the lines of $1500 per year (?) to be part of their program.
     
  14. 8wayup

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 11, 2008
    Messages:
    1,515
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    53
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Midwest
    I've slept with a lot of women from various employers and it never worked out well. Even dating can get strange. I know several couples that met at work and eventually married and had no issues, so marriage may be the variable.

    Frame it a bit. How did she turn down the lunch invitation. Was it:
    "I already have plans", or "I have to finish this project, maybe some other time".
    or
    "Are you out of your mind, eat with you? I would rather stick a pencil in my eye".

    The first one is easy, wait a couple of days and ask her again. If it is the second one it depends on how much you want to screw with it and how good of a salesman you are.
     
  15. LeeEJ

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jul 5, 2006
    Messages:
    1,471
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    4
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    DC
    Holy shit... :eek:
     
  16. bigdog83

    bigdog83 Member

    Joined:
    Jul 30, 2007
    Messages:
    579
    Likes Received:
    5
    I thought we were friends............

    i paid for me, and she paid for her.

    me:hey wanna do lunch again?
    her:eek:h, i dunno.......depends what im doing(same thing she said before).......even though i shouldnt.
    me:what?
    her:im really busy, trying to save money, watching what i spend, going back to school, trying to only take 30mins..........and i think she kept going but i tuned her out after 30secs of this crap.
    me:well ok just let me know if you wanna go sometime.
    her:i will.


    im sorry but maybe its just the way i am, but i was never rude or anything to deserve that. i think it was a big fuck off in a nice kind of way. and thats fine, but dont try and act like a friend the next day. ive knowed her for 2 months, pretty much always talk, seemed like good friends, never asked her to hang out after work, never asked for her phone number. since when dont co-workers go out to lunch?

    she could of just said, shes busy or no thanks,.......and i would of respect that. but i think responding the way she did in this context is the same as saying fuck off you dont even stand a chance.
    i think she went out almost everyday that week too. just think how i felt.........

    besides all the get the fuck outta here girls, ive had a girl tell me......"i dont stand a chance, nothing will ever happen, and there will never be us, and we can only be friends"....i told her, "WELL! that is the coolest thing a chick as ever told me, and yes i will be friends". we hung out almost every weekend for the next few months with all our friends, and still talk.


    the problem is, i dont talk to her because of this, and she wont leave me alone. what i mean is at first she wouldnt leave me alone she would always try starting converstaion, joke, hi......i just didnt want to talk to her because i still stand by that i felt she was rude(my terms, a bitch) by what she did. but now she really wont leave me alone.......and purposely going out of her way to try and make me jealous and mess with me. so now i reallyyyyyyyyyyyyy dont wanna talk to her at all because of this.

    just leave me alone, thats all i want.
     
  17. Wish-4-8

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 29, 2008
    Messages:
    2,808
    Likes Received:
    2
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    LA, California
    Wait. Are you gay or not?
    And her excuse seems legit.
    I think you need to keep work at work and a social life outside of work.
    It causes less problems and is the professional thing to do.
     
  18. rawbone8

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jun 30, 2004
    Messages:
    2,864
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    4
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Toronto (ON, CA)
  19. bigdog83

    bigdog83 Member

    Joined:
    Jul 30, 2007
    Messages:
    579
    Likes Received:
    5
    bi.....but the issue here it was a rejection because she went to lunch everyday that week.......a big fuck off.


    lol
     
  20. dolfette

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 13, 2006
    Messages:
    11,901
    Likes Received:
    26
    why is that bitchy?
    so, she was lame at excuses not to eat with you again. she tried.
    have you considered that maybe you just have rejection issues?
     
Draft saved Draft deleted