if a girl at work rejects you and makes you feel like shit........

[zimboro8]

i think i sort of understand where you coming from. You went to lunch as just co-workers and she blew you off the next time you asked her.

But what was really on both minds was "date" pretending to be co-worker lunch because u mentioned "didnt pay..not to seem like a date".. thats not the real reason people dont pay for each other at collegial lunches, this means probably all the other aspects of the "lunch" felt like a date to her.

The thing is most guys here are missing the point, the girl knew what she was doing (most guys would have taken the elaborate story as it is...) but you caught her lie out, and she knows it.
Now she is trying to "make-up" with you..
I sense you liked her a little and maybe still do.

What you have to do is treat her like any other co-worker. Dont go out of your way to talk to her, but dont be mean to her either. Also dont try to find out what she is up to.
But importantly NEVER ask for lunch again with her, never suggest anything to her again until she has suggested eg lunch more that once. And even if she asks for lunch again, say you are "busy, and you'll tell her when u're free..." And obviously dont.
She'll probably ask you again and then u say not today but can do e.g wednes..
Then you back to normal "friends" again.
But please IF you go out to lunch again, treat her like a co-worker, dont think of it as a date pretending to be lunch.

By treating her as a co-worker, you dont lose face by being jealous "making me jealous" and gradually out of sight out of mind. ( i know the paradox of out of sight in the work place but you dont really notice or see the co-workers you dont care about and even if you work in the same environment)

 

[hud01]

ever hear: Don't shit where you eat.

WTF Not in today's world

 

[hud01]

I thought we were friends............



i paid for me, and she paid for her.



me:hey wanna do lunch again?
herh, i dunno.......depends what im doing(same thing she said before).......even though i shouldnt.
me:what?
her:im really busy, trying to save money, watching what i spend, going back to school, trying to only take 30mins..........and i think she kept going but i tuned her out after 30secs of this crap.
me:well ok just let me know if you wanna go sometime.
her:i will.


im sorry but maybe its just the way i am, but i was never rude or anything to deserve that. i think it was a big fuck off in a nice kind of way. and thats fine, but dont try and act like a friend the next day. ive knowed her for 2 months, pretty much always talk, seemed like good friends, never asked her to hang out after work, never asked for her phone number. since when dont co-workers go out to lunch?

she could of just said, shes busy or no thanks,.......and i would of respect that. but i think responding the way she did in this context is the same as saying fuck off you dont even stand a chance.
i think she went out almost everyday that week too. just think how i felt.........

besides all the get the fuck outta here girls, ive had a girl tell me......"i dont stand a chance, nothing will ever happen, and there will never be us, and we can only be friends"....i told her, "WELL! that is the coolest thing a chick as ever told me, and yes i will be friends". we hung out almost every weekend for the next few months with all our friends, and still talk.


the problem is, i dont talk to her because of this, and she wont leave me alone. what i mean is at first she wouldnt leave me alone she would always try starting converstaion, joke, hi......i just didnt want to talk to her because i still stand by that i felt she was rude(my terms, a bitch) by what she did. but now she really wont leave me alone.......and purposely going out of her way to try and make me jealous and mess with me. so now i reallyyyyyyyyyyyyy dont wanna talk to her at all because of this.

just leave me alone, thats all i want.

Sounds very much like you have major issues and need to grow up. She wants to be friends, not lovers, deal with it. Adults can continue to have a relationship even if only one wants to make it personal.

 

[Wish-4-8]

You seem to have a knack for thinking people misunderstand what you are trying to say.

Wow. He came here for help and you solved the issue. Have him send money to your paypal account for the service. :biggrin1::biggrin1::biggrin1:

 

[Wish-4-8]

WTF Not in today's world

What world do you live in? The basics still apply. I have seen more disasters happen because people cannot separate their professional lives from their social. And the people who still do it never think something bad is going to happen to them.

What job do you work in that wont cause problems by dating your coworkers?
I am open minded.

 

[Principessa]

what would you do? now remember you guys are friends.....talk alot etc. even went out to lunch once before. you didnt pay, as to not make it seem like a date.

So in her mind it's not a date but in your mind it is? :261: You can't blame her for not reading your mind dude.

when you ask her the second time, she rejects this lunch like a bitch......and your about to say "well you dont have to be a bitch about it"......but its on the job and decide to keep it cool.

would you ignore her for being a bitch?

You have a lot of problems with women. Which says to me the problem probably doesn't lie with her, but you. For the record, rejecting lunch does not make her a bitch. Maybe she pickd up on your misogynistic/crazy vibe and said no because of that. Maybe she doesn't date people with whom she works.

As many others have stated, 'Don't shit where you eat!' Translation don't date people you work with.

 

[Principessa]

whatever your feelings. im not trying to be friends with her. I DONT TALK TO HER NOW. SHE WONT LEAVE ME ALONE.

http://www.averagematt.com/

www.averagematt.com - gay community with pic/video sharing and a forums area.

http://www.averagematt.com/
Uhmm, I just noticed your signature and I have to wonder if maybe you send out a gay/bi vibe without realizing it. I am not saying you are, I'm just saying you may inadvertently not appear 'straight' to her. Hence, her still being overtly friendly. Many of us open-minded 21st century girls have no qualms about being a fag hag. As a matter of fact some of the best friends I have online and off are gay males.

I am not trying to insult or stick a label on you I am just throwing a 'what if' out there.