If polygamy was legal and socially permitted would you have more than one wife?
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helgaleena
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What humans do for sexual and emotional validation is different from what is legal. The map is not the territory. I think I'd have to have economic reasons for legally marrying more than one person. Right now I am happy not legally married to anyone. And beyond that is none of anyone's business but my partners'.
I speak as a currently practicing polyamorist.
What would those reasons be? Apocalyptic fall of civilization as we know it, perhaps. Legitimizing offspring in a new social system, perhaps.
I speak as a currently practicing polyamorist.
What would those reasons be? Apocalyptic fall of civilization as we know it, perhaps. Legitimizing offspring in a new social system, perhaps.
Is the question asking about polygamy or polygyny?
It says polygamy but it implies one man having multiple wives which is polygyny.
If only polygyny were legalized it would probably screw up population gender ratios.
On a related note does anyone know why the law always seems to be a decade or more behind social mores?
Oddly enough polygamy was illegalized in the USA only 20 years after you illegalized slavery. It's kinda strange. It's almost like they went backwards socially and culturally.
It says polygamy but it implies one man having multiple wives which is polygyny.
If only polygyny were legalized it would probably screw up population gender ratios.
On a related note does anyone know why the law always seems to be a decade or more behind social mores?
Oddly enough polygamy was illegalized in the USA only 20 years after you illegalized slavery. It's kinda strange. It's almost like they went backwards socially and culturally.
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helgaleena
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Are you being sarcastic?
I was clearly referring to the fact that they illegalized slavery which is a step forward socially but then 20 years later they illegallized polygamy which is a step backward. It just struck me as weird that the same people who voted to illegalize slavery would ,20 years later, vote to illegallize polygamy.
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This sense of loss is in no way unique to a menage. All human relationships run the risk of ending and thereby causing pain.
And no void caused by the end of a relationship can be filled by just anyone!
Maybe I am missing your point.
Guy-jin
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sex is the easiest part.
multiple people morning breath.
bathroom crowding.
last of the milk.
conflicting schedules.
working in partner's partners.
the crazy insane purging of living space when family of a not out as gay or poly person visits. *ever try to de-leather a kink space to turn it back into a spare bedroom in less than an hour?*
feeling comfortable enough to stand up for your needs, all the while respecting needs/boundaries of 3 or more people.
closet space. is a fucking battle ground!
multiple people morning breath.
bathroom crowding.
last of the milk.
conflicting schedules.
working in partner's partners.
the crazy insane purging of living space when family of a not out as gay or poly person visits. *ever try to de-leather a kink space to turn it back into a spare bedroom in less than an hour?*
feeling comfortable enough to stand up for your needs, all the while respecting needs/boundaries of 3 or more people.
closet space. is a fucking battle ground!
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I agree!
Having sex with me is like having it with five people at the same time! :wink:
Wanna give it a go, you stud!? :biggrin1:
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Oh Mickey, I'm falling in l<3ve.....except that whole multiple morning breath thing....
morning breath is a harsh reality, and a great equalizer, Ms. Maddie :tongue1:
me troupe of humpybumpy kinth had to work just like any other family. we all found roles with fit it. and ways we all fit together. some folks had stronger emotional bonds, some had tighter sexual bonds. but the right combination of folks worked.
open-end fucking buddies is a much easier arrangement. though it still requires heaps of honesty with yaself and with others. least by my set of rules. mileage may vary.
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It's late and I'm tired so please forgive me if this doesn't make as much sense as it did in my head before I wrote it out here.
I think it's possible for some to love more than one person at once. The only thing is, for it to be completely mutual and for the relationship to be successful in this type of setting the other person(s) in the relationship has/have to be comfortable with the fact that there will be another spouse in the equation. More over, all parties have to form a bond and healthy relationship (not talking strictly sexual in nature) with each other for it to be completely successful. Jealousy can not over rule the relationship from any one party.
It's incredibly difficult to balance all involved relationships and keep them healthy and there are those that have done it and are still doing it successfully.
It's just one of those things that not everyone's into and that's ok too. I just think that everyone is entitled to love and if that means that they want more than one spouse at a time and all parties are willing and capable and accepting of that fact then anything is possible.
FWIW I can't imagine having a bed filled with all married parties in the same space. That would be creepy and the morning breath would be horrible BUT generally polygamists don't (at least as far as I know) generally all share the same bed together at once or at all. I'm pretty sure while they may share the same household, each have their own rooms and space.
If I had to do it, I think I'd look more at the pros than the cons. For instance, you're always going to have someone to help watch your children when you need something or when you need a moment to yourself (on a rare occasion.) You're always going to have really close best friends (provided you aren't the jealous type and if you are polygamy isn't for you). You'll never be completely alone ever because you'll have this huge family and a circle of people who love you and who you love in return.
Again, it's not for everyone but I really do believe that it is possible to love more than one person at a time. I just think that in many societies today it is frowned upon and generally not accepted even my government standards. In that regard, I think it's unfortunate that some governments have a say in who gets to love who and how many whos ( I feel like I'm talking about Dr. Seuss characters here) you can love at once. But then again, there's another discussion going on somewhere around here about gay/lesbian marriages and interracial marriage, so there's another few examples of the government getting in the way of people's personal preferences on love.
Alright this topic is sounding more and more strange as I type it so I better just leave it at that before some nice person comes along to tell me how horrible my explanation has been.
I think it's possible for some to love more than one person at once. The only thing is, for it to be completely mutual and for the relationship to be successful in this type of setting the other person(s) in the relationship has/have to be comfortable with the fact that there will be another spouse in the equation. More over, all parties have to form a bond and healthy relationship (not talking strictly sexual in nature) with each other for it to be completely successful. Jealousy can not over rule the relationship from any one party.
It's incredibly difficult to balance all involved relationships and keep them healthy and there are those that have done it and are still doing it successfully.
It's just one of those things that not everyone's into and that's ok too. I just think that everyone is entitled to love and if that means that they want more than one spouse at a time and all parties are willing and capable and accepting of that fact then anything is possible.
FWIW I can't imagine having a bed filled with all married parties in the same space. That would be creepy and the morning breath would be horrible BUT generally polygamists don't (at least as far as I know) generally all share the same bed together at once or at all. I'm pretty sure while they may share the same household, each have their own rooms and space.
If I had to do it, I think I'd look more at the pros than the cons. For instance, you're always going to have someone to help watch your children when you need something or when you need a moment to yourself (on a rare occasion.) You're always going to have really close best friends (provided you aren't the jealous type and if you are polygamy isn't for you). You'll never be completely alone ever because you'll have this huge family and a circle of people who love you and who you love in return.
Again, it's not for everyone but I really do believe that it is possible to love more than one person at a time. I just think that in many societies today it is frowned upon and generally not accepted even my government standards. In that regard, I think it's unfortunate that some governments have a say in who gets to love who and how many whos ( I feel like I'm talking about Dr. Seuss characters here) you can love at once. But then again, there's another discussion going on somewhere around here about gay/lesbian marriages and interracial marriage, so there's another few examples of the government getting in the way of people's personal preferences on love.
Alright this topic is sounding more and more strange as I type it so I better just leave it at that before some nice person comes along to tell me how horrible my explanation has been.
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