If ur gay and "out" did u "come out" or....

[D_Gunther Snotpole]

My father died when I was only just entering adolescence, so I never told him.

I was in the process of telling my mother ... had already set her up for a conversation ... when she died suddenly.

So I told neither parent.

I know my parents would have been completely accepting. I just didn't have the opportunity to see that proven, something I do regret a bit. But I don't obsess about it, because there's nothing I can do.

(My sister knows everything about my orientation. She's just plain fascinated ... which is fun. Or she was. Old news is old news.)

 

[D_Smidley Smelliepits]

thadjock: Why bother looks seem to be the only thing important here anyway so I dont care either way.

Great answer, but still disturbing :wink:

 

[True_Blue]

otherwise you make a great point, there are alot of gay kids who get disowned by parents and family, and end up on the street or resorting to suicide it's deplorable.

I think attitudes are changing, and i think the internet at least gives kids some sense that they're not alone or the only one that is going through it. where i live it's not really a big deal but i know in some parts of the US and the middle east it's very unforgiving culture.

Yea, growing up in a household of unaccepting parents really takes a toll on ya. If I came out to my family I don't think they'd be surprised, but I know they will be angry and it may even escalate to something physical and I'd prefer avoiding that. I don't know where I would be if I didn't have such good friends.

That's why I'm so happy I found this site.

 

[D_Smidley Smelliepits]

Yeah, many people find the Internet as a way of escaping their homophobic reality. I had to for a while and had my first serious sex experiences through chats. It was necessary for me, since I had no way of having it through my friends or at the bars I used to go to.

 

[ubered]

Glad we can be of service!
:biggrin1:

 

[ubered]

Uh huh no I think my parents probably had a hunch long before I actually came out but they never said anything about it. I also liked Grease and watched it too many times to count that should have been a tipoff 2 lol

thadjock: Why bother looks seem to be the only thing important here anyway so I dont care either way.

Much better !! :thanks: :biggrin1:

 

[B_theOtherJJ]

My mom was thrilled. She gained a hairdresser, and I could also break-in her high heels for her....

 

[avalonlovelove]

My mom was thrilled. She gained a hairdresser, and I could also break-in her high heels for her....

:lol::haha::biggrin1:

 

[r4tor]

I told my mom at the start of summer this year. While I'm not necessarily gay, I do identify as bisexual with a definite male preference. She took it really well, and while she is a tad uncomfortable with the idea (naturally), she loves and supports me regardless of who I am. Her biggest fear is the amount of discrimination and/or hate I may face but such is life. As for the rest of my family, I haven't told them. I've been meaning to bring it up in the near future but finding the right time seems like an impossibility in my family. I think they, like my mother, may be uncomfortable with the idea but they'll get used to it.

 

[D_Tim McGnaw]

I never had to come out to my family, none of them would have been shocked or freaked out even if I had, I grew up with a lot of gay family friends and things were unconventional in our house. I think they wold have laughed if I'd sat them down all serious and "come out" to them, they would have known anyway, it wasn't like I kept it a secret once I knew it myself, which was pretty young comparitively.

My Grandparents didn't even bat an eyelid when I brought my Boyfriend (at the time) to stay for the weekend, they were delighted to meet him actually. I had actually forgotten to tell them he was coming so it was doubly cool of them not to be phased.

I was so lucky that my family for all their many faults had no specific expectations about my sexuality or who I would grow up to be and were relaxed about whatever I threw at them.

 

[SpitFireWheels]

I told everyone I liked men via facebook and followed it up with P.S. This is no joke. P.P.S. Hi mom and dad!

it made it alot easier

 

[ubered]

I told everyone I liked men via facebook and followed it up with P.S. This is no joke. P.P.S. Hi mom and dad!

it made it alot easier

Charming!:eek1:

 

[thadjock]

I told everyone I liked men via facebook and followed it up with P.S. This is no joke. P.P.S. Hi mom and dad!

it made it alot easier

my brother got busted by his gf for putting pics of his party trip to nicaragua on his FB. he told her he was working out of town that week.

stupid brother

 

[D_Smidley Smelliepits]

not very clever, is it?

 

[SpitFireWheels]

my brother got busted by his gf for putting pics of his party trip to nicaragua on his FB. he told her he was working out of town that week.

stupid brother

Haha... the beauty of facebook. I just have all of my settings set so only certain people can look at certain pictures. There's some stuff you don't want your co-workers to see

 

[jonnyjinx]

I didn't think it neccessary to tell my parents until I met the man I wished to spend the rest of my life with. I was 30 years old and couldn't physically say it to them as I was so nervous, so I put everything I wanted to say in writing and let them read it while I sat there. It was the scariest thing I had ever done, not knowing what the reaction would be. Mum was initially upset but soon came round and Dad was brilliant. I soon realised that it was really no big deal and I just wished I'd told them 15 years sooner! Deep down I think they both suspected anyway!

 

[Dave NoCal]

This is a great thread. Thanks, O.P!
I came out to my parents LONG, LONG ago. I was thinking about doing it but they "chose" the moment by asking about why I didn't have a girlfriend, fiance, whatever... They are very religious but their concerns were more along the lines of what they did wrong and then worrying about discrimination and me being unhappy, and wanting me to get therapy so I would change. It took them about two years to get through this phase. After that it stopped being a problem between us. Thankfully, we have all lived long enough to work through this and they love my husband.
Dave

 

[B_jeepguy2]

I always have to laugh when i hear people say if you're gay you can change or somehow be reprogrammed. it doesn't work that way!

if you're gay u know it's not a choice, I knew i had an attraction to guys from very early on, even b4 i knew what sex was.

So true dude! I had a pretty sheltered childhood and knew there were certain boys in my elementary school I liked way before i had any idea what sex or homosexuality was. I didn't realize the attractions were sexual until I was about 13 and started figuring it all out.

 

[B_jeepguy2]

I told everyone I liked men via facebook and followed it up with P.S. This is no joke. P.P.S. Hi mom and dad!

it made it alot easier

LOL That is a great idea! I am still not out to but a couple of college friends and have actually thought about changing my facebook to say I am interested in men and see how long it takes my family and friends to notice.

 

[rugger89]

this thread is prompted by a post i read over at this thread:

Post your Secret.. - Page 16

well im glad to see im inspiring at least someone

quick question to you all, did u wait till you were out of home/self supportive etc?