If you cheated...
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Statistically, if you wait long enough, someone in a relationship is gonna cheat. If it were a one time thing and I was extra careful about avoiding STDs, then I probably wouldn't say anything. The guilt is your punishment, and if you're only telling your partner to alleviate it, then it's just about you (which is what the cheating was, too). But I don't get involved in monogamous relationships so I have no business in this thread lol
Yea you should probably tell. They deserve to know what type of person they're with and decide for themselves if they want to remain with that person.
Except if you were a doctor about to perform crucial heart surgery on you to save your life, you found out just before you went under anaesthetic they are not a heart surgeon at all, but a dentist. OOoooops zzzzzzzzzzzzzz too late.
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If it was a one off transgression id say no way....not that it is right but why ruin what is a good relationship otherwise with a transgression..say if on a trip. Life isn't perfect sometimes and if you learn from what you did then move on.
colgan1999
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I've made the decision not to do it and I don't.
15 years ago I was in a relationship with a sex-addicted sociopath who fucked around on me 5 days a week. I broke down and cheated with someone he knew and then made sure he found out. Boy did that feel shitty and I'm not doing it again--the cheating that is.
15 years ago I was in a relationship with a sex-addicted sociopath who fucked around on me 5 days a week. I broke down and cheated with someone he knew and then made sure he found out. Boy did that feel shitty and I'm not doing it again--the cheating that is.
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I have and did.
I'm still with the person I cheated on; closer than ever in fact ( we later went into civil partnership ).
But without doubt, the quality of our relationship is still not quite as good as it could have been if I hadn't done that. We both let ourselves do it, openly. But some of mine weren't open. I'm not sure why ...
But if I had seen our goal as like a mountain peak, wreathed in bright sunshine, the cheating has made it more like wandering around the foothills and crevasses...
It is very definitely not worth it.
Sex is great. Some minutes of great pleasure, sometimes. But that does not compare with the best kinds of loving relationship ...
I'm still with the person I cheated on; closer than ever in fact ( we later went into civil partnership ).
But without doubt, the quality of our relationship is still not quite as good as it could have been if I hadn't done that. We both let ourselves do it, openly. But some of mine weren't open. I'm not sure why ...
But if I had seen our goal as like a mountain peak, wreathed in bright sunshine, the cheating has made it more like wandering around the foothills and crevasses...
It is very definitely not worth it.
Sex is great. Some minutes of great pleasure, sometimes. But that does not compare with the best kinds of loving relationship ...
Reading how a lot of you have done it, felt bad, but still would never tell, really makes me realize that I don't trust people. I don't know that I could ever get into another committed relationship. I don't think I would ever be able to trust that my gf/wife was not cheating on me.
I haven't cheated and if I did, I would not tell her. she is extremely jealous. it would just tear her apart, and because of that, it would tear me apart. been together for 37 years, and over that time frame, I have had a lot of women come on to me. I know that sounds like bragging but it's not. I have been tempted by some very beautiful women, and have come close several times. I have to tell myself a couple hours of pleasure are not worth the pain it will cause for probably the rest of our lives.
B_ILIW
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socalanfmodel
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Very good topic and maybe this doesn't belong in here but its not me but my brother. I had a close friend that developed feelings for him and I told her not to date him. One thing lead to another and from close friends shes done nothing put chuck me to the side like common trash. Its fine I guess I keep everything cordial when she comes to visit him but I've known he's been cheating on her the whole time. Matter of fact the first day my brother and "close friend" did the dirty the very next he went and slept with the girl that he has been seeing behind her back and I'm also lead to believe there is more then one girl. The best part is this other girl I've gotten to know and she thinks shes pregnant. Its been two weeks going on three since she hasn't had her period she's on the pill and he does the pull out method but still chances are there. I personally would love it if she were pregnant in a way it would be karma to my "close friend" but either way I've washed myself of her just wish the hurt from just a close bond that was tarnished so badly would go away. My brother can't cut it anyway I love him to the end of the earth no matter what wrong he does. Yes I've contemplated tell that friend of mine his been cheating but in the end not my place.. right?
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Define Cheating….. Relationships take many forms not just the monogamous ones.
There are polygamous relationships, polyamoures relationships, open relationships, four way relationships (although this could technically be classed as polyamourus.
In my relationship we have an understanding. We play together and very occasionally apart but only with permission from the other half.
So in our relationship sex for the sake of sex is not considered cheating, cheating is if there is an emotional attachment involved.
So my partner could (and has done) slept with some-one else and i don't have a problem with it.
If i felt myself developing feelings for some-one else……. he would probably know about it before i did so most likely he would bring it up, but if i were aware before he was i would tell him that i intended to communicate less with that person because i felt i was developing feelings for them.
There are polygamous relationships, polyamoures relationships, open relationships, four way relationships (although this could technically be classed as polyamourus.
In my relationship we have an understanding. We play together and very occasionally apart but only with permission from the other half.
So in our relationship sex for the sake of sex is not considered cheating, cheating is if there is an emotional attachment involved.
So my partner could (and has done) slept with some-one else and i don't have a problem with it.
If i felt myself developing feelings for some-one else……. he would probably know about it before i did so most likely he would bring it up, but if i were aware before he was i would tell him that i intended to communicate less with that person because i felt i was developing feelings for them.
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