If you have gay sex as a teenager does it count as real sexual experience?

[EddieAztek]

So, the REAL question is why do we persist in worrying about what one or two or sixteen same gender experiences say about us? Is it because being labeled "gay" still has a stigma associated with it? N'est-ce pas?

That is a good point. What age you are a man depends on who you asking. Has everyone here waited until they were a grown man before they learn about sex?

If gay sex means that you desiring a man to have sex with I can't say I had it. I also put my thing in a :biggrin1: jelly sandwich when I was younger! :lol: Does that make me a slice of ham or swiss cheese? I'm not lying here, I enjoyed both these experiences. So what are you calling gay sex here now?

 

[B_dxjnorto]

So what are you calling gay sex here now?

I'm not gay, but my boyfriend is?

 

[Principessa]

That is a good point. What age you are a man depends on who you asking. Has everyone here waited until they were a grown man before they learn about sex?

If gay sex means that you desiring a man to have sex with I can't say I had it. God you are dense, that is NOT what I said! So what are you calling gay sex here now? Eddie darling, I will explain this to you one more time. Put down your beer and the doobie, shake your head to clear the cobwebs and read this again. :biggrin1: Get a dictionary if you see a word you don't know.:smile: If you have had your dick in another mans ass, you had gay sex. If he had his dick in your ass, you had gay sex. If you sucked his dick, or he sucked yours you had gay sex!

None of the above is what makes a man gay. What makes a man gay or bisexual is the intense need to be with another man emotionally as well as physically. If I am not mistaken being a gay man also means you have no desire to engage in any type of sex with a woman.

 

[B_dxjnorto]

Why can't people have any kind of sex they want to? If you wanted to do it and it feels good to you and you are safe, who gives a flying fuck?

The topics on LPSG often center on an evolving worldview of sex and sexuality. We are the vanguard. LPSG is the new world order.

 

[MCC]

Well, I'm proud to be part of the new world order :smile: but I clearly should not be in the vanguard because I no longer understand what is being argued here anymore.

Are we trying to define some kind of criteria of homosexual sex? Because that seems fairly clear, alternatively if we are trying to define what constitutes sexual orientation, well, that seems to be transient but well defined - its what attracts you at the moment. So unless we are going to keep hammering on the flawed notion that previous sexual experience defines our current orientation I don't see what we are discussing anymore.

Am I just being dumb? If so can anyone help me out here?

 

[DC_DEEP]

I've had two homosexual experience with one guy. Neither time I could get a hard on so it didn't go anywhere. But I still count them as sex.

Excellent point.

In the OP, Eddie didn't ask "does a same-gender sexual experience as a teen mean I'm gay?" he asked "does a same-gender sexual experience as a teen count as a sexual experience?"

HUGE difference in the two questions, and most of the "justification" responses are answering a question he didn't ask.

So, for those of you "straight" guys who say a blowjob isn't sex, would you feel the same way if your wife or girlfriend or 15-year-old daughter gives me a blowjob?

I'm still trying to wrap my brain around the concept that when a mouth is wrapped around a cock, the mouth is having sex but the cock is not.

 

[Lucky_Luke]

If you just fooling around when you were a teenager and learning about different ways to have sex and what feel good, does this count? I'm not counting mine but whats your opinion? Can a man be a straight man, if he has bisexual experiences in his teenage years? What do you think?

According to the infamous Kinsey study, some 25% of males may experiment as teenagers and never do so again as adults.

In other words, this is pretty common stuff.

 

[B_dxjnorto]

Are we trying to define some kind of criteria of homosexual sex? Because that seems fairly clear, alternatively if we are trying to define what constitutes sexual orientation, well, that seems to be transient but well defined - its what attracts you at the moment.

I know I could successfully wank off about 90% of the guys in the world. Make that 98% if they'd tell me what feels good. Sexual preference is more culturally defined - wife, 2.5 kids, 2 car garage. Sexual orientation is all over the map.

 

[Male Bonding etc]

Okay, so the labels are still what are hanging us up. Who wants to go about making sure we are all using the same terms to mean the same thing?

I have heard any number of times that "gay" is not the same as "homosexual." Thus, to label a homosexual act as a "gay" act may not be quite accurate. It would probably only be a gay act if it was being acted upon out of a gay desire. A homosexual act is by definition one that includes only one gender. It may be done out of any number of drives, not all of them gay.

Certainly, we know that some people think the only sexual acts are those that include penis entering vagina. Therefore, anal sex, manual sex and oral sex are not really sex at all by these people's definition. Perhaps that might explain a statistic (if there is one) that claims more people are remaining virgin longer. They're having sex that really isn't sex.

Since most of us are not academicians, I still find it interesting that so much time and effort is spent on a topic that ostensibly should not matter. That takes me back to my earlier point. There would not be so much angst and heat about the topic if we didn't still feel that gays are second class citizens.

 

[nudeyorker]

Sex is sex, I prefer having sex with men; but in college I slept with a few woman to see if I was missing anything on the other side of the fence. They were sexual experiences;however I prefer having sex with men, it's waht ever floats your boat so to speak!
To make a further point from above quote;I'm not gay...I just like sleeping with men!

 

[basque9]

Eddie, you seem troubled by a label. A label is not what matters....listen to your inner voice...if it is telling you that you are gay, then you are gay. If it is telling you that you are straight, then you are straight! Does all the rest that is cycling in your head really matter? Does what we think really matter?

 

[EddieAztek]

Okay, so the labels are still what are hanging us up. Who wants to go about making sure we are all using the same terms to mean the same thing?

I have heard any number of times that "gay" is not the same as "homosexual." Thus, to label a homosexual act as a "gay" act may not be quite accurate. It would probably only be a gay act if it was being acted upon out of a gay desire. A homosexual act is by definition one that includes only one gender. It may be done out of any number of drives, not all of them gay.

Certainly, we know that some people think the only sexual acts are those that include penis entering vagina. Therefore, anal sex, manual sex and oral sex are not really sex at all by these people's definition. Perhaps that might explain a statistic (if there is one) that claims more people are remaining virgin longer. They're having sex that really isn't sex.

Since most of us are not academicians, I still find it interesting that so much time and effort is spent on a topic that ostensibly should not matter. That takes me back to my earlier point. There would not be so much angst and heat about the topic if we didn't still feel that gays are second class citizens.

I'm agreeing with this point here. If you young and the only sex you have had is with other males, and that is all you know, this is not a preference of sex with males. It's not gay sex. It is just sex. That's how some guys learn about sex when we young so what's wrong with this?

I guess it is homosexual if its 2 males. So I will say I have had some homosexual experiences with my friends when I was younger.

 

[DC_DEEP]

<..>
I guess it is homosexual if its 2 males. So I will say I have had some homosexual experiences with my friends when I was younger.

There we go, now we have it right. And guess what? Those experiences have nothing to do with your 100%. I do believe that you are 100% straight; the fact that you "tried it, and didn't like it" tells the whole story.

 

[Corius]

Eddie, I care not what others may think, in my own case I do not want to erase the memory of the two years of friendship with a fellow who was a classmate in my last two years in high school. We thought of ourselves as "regular guys" and, when our friendship became something more than friendship, we found that in our expressing of the bond between us we were fully engaged in boy-to-boy sexual relations. Though we both ended up as happily married men, we have always admitted to ourselves that ours was no teen infatuation. Our love for each other remains strong long years after. Our two years of homosexual sex revealed to us a part of our complex sexuality we were not aware of before. We still think of ourselves as pretty "regular guys" but we know something about ourselves and our sexuality that many regular guys never do get to know and many who do know will not admit to knowing. We still agree that those two years were among the best of our years. The memory lingers on.

 

[submit452]

a rose is a rose is a rose...

But would it be as hard?

 

[EddieAztek]

There we go, now we have it right. And guess what? Those experiences have nothing to do with your 100%. I do believe that you are 100% straight; the fact that you "tried it, and didn't like it" tells the whole story.

Hey I'm not going to lie here, okay! Before we start to get some pussy a lot of us were doing it with each other, and that shit felt good. It was like if you let me do this to you, maybe I let you do something to me. Or if I help you fix this up, you got to :wink: suck my dick man! Not like boyfriends, holding hands and kissing! Hell no. My brothers would have fucking killed me! My father would be digging my ass up and killing me again! :lol:

But after I got my first sex with a girl we was still messing with each other....but not as much. When I was getting more sex with girls and older women, doing more things with them, we didn't need to be messing with each other :biggrin1: no more. So we stop! If you still wanting to do that shit, we say "you still doing that? are you gay?"

So I'm still saying I'm 100% str8.

 

[LoveItBitch]

if i had a bf who had a sexual experience with another guy when he was a teenager.. but claim to be totally straight.. id brush it off and say that it was experimentation...unless u are like me and loved the experience with the same sex.. and yes I am a bisexual girl.. think i posted this before.. and experience is just an act done out of curiosity.. but to repeat the experience is not an experience anymore.. its more like a yearning....

 

[EddieAztek]

If the girls keep saying no to you, what you going to do? We beg these girls to let us fuck them and they said no, telling their mamas, papas....getting us in trouble! :lol: We wanted to try things on them but they weren't ready for that yet. So we messed with each other or jack-offed together. We still was wanting that pussy though! :wink: Especially the older girls.

 

[DC_DEEP]

Hey I'm not going to lie here, okay! Before we start to get some pussy a lot of us were doing it with each other, and that shit felt good. It was like if you let me do this to you, maybe I let you do something to me. Or if I help you fix this up, you got to :wink: suck my dick man! Not like boyfriends, holding hands and kissing! Hell no. My brothers would have fucking killed me! My father would be digging my ass up and killing me again! :lol:

But after I got my first sex with a girl we was still messing with each other....but not as much. When I was getting more sex with girls and older women, doing more things with them, we didn't need to be messing with each other :biggrin1: no more. So we stop! If you still wanting to do that shit, we say "you still doing that? are you gay?"

So I'm still saying I'm 100% str8.

Wow, sorry you grew up with such homophobes.

But your story is a bit the flip side of mine - when I was a teen, I thought I was "supposed" to date girls, I thought maybe I could "make myself straight" So I had hetero sex. Lots of times, over several years.

But I'm 100% gay. I'm glad I'm older now, and can be honest with myself and everyone else. Just because I had sex with females, that didn't actually make me straight. But those sexual experiences "still count."

 

[EddieAztek]

Eddie, I think the important factor in your case is not how many teenage boys you played with or maybe even sucked or fucked! The determining factor in whether you can qualify as a straight man is what you are doing as an adult and where your sexual preferences actually lie. Of course those experiences count, in the sense that they happened...but they have not necessarily put a stamp on your back which labels you bi-sexual or gay! Look into your heart and your inner feelings and you will be able to put the correct label on your sexuality...with no input needed from us!:smile:

You're right man. Thanks.