Been in that situation and most times, intolerable and at the worse, a serious headfuck... to the point I felt suicidal. Another time it was fine, but I wasn’t in a relationship and had no desire for that or even fooling around and it felt....cleansing. Genuinely. I was able to channel my emotions into other things and I was more productive, spiritual and happy. But inevitably, you meet someone, you have that connection and you wanna do more than just feel like a teenager waiting to get laid. That’s when I sunk into a bit of a depression. While penetration isn’t the be all and end all, it is important to me and being healthy on all another accounts, young, and actually wanting to have sex but not be able to do that, was brutal. And no alternative (I.e. sex toys) helped. If anything, it made me feel worse and close to wanting therapy, but in the end I didn’t go there. It’s certainly... an experience. Only ever spoke to one other person about it, and I think if I didn’t, i’da truly lost my shit.