If your current partner is not the biggest you've ever had, do you feel...

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by ashketchum, Oct 19, 2008.

  1. ashketchum

    ashketchum New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 23, 2008
    Messages:
    34
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    1
    Hey ladies,

    im just curious to get some input here. I'm sure the topic has been discussed before but I'd really appreciate some fresh and current input from you all.

    If your current lover is not the biggest cock youve ever been with, do you feel dissapointed in any way? I mean, do you feel like youre settling for less or ever lust after the biggest one?

    My personal scenario (and problem) is that my gf has an ex who was supposedly 8.5 long and thick. Now I'm 7.5 x 5.5... nothing to sneeze at I guess, and have always had other girls comment on my size when seeing it (especially the first time). MY current gf never commented on it, which made me think shes had bigger. Upon questioning her she finally told me about her ex.

    It upsets me and makes me feel inferior that she has had bigger. The reason she dumped this guy is because she caught him cheating. This makes me kinda feel like she'd still be with him in a world where he did not cheat. And that in turn makes me feel like shes missing out on an extra inch or two (in volume) of dick.

    Am i being an insecure little bitch here or what? please be blunt and straight up with me
     
  2. ManlyBanisters

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Mar 19, 2007
    Messages:
    12,807
    Likes Received:
    8
  3. IntoxicatingToxin

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 10, 2006
    Messages:
    10,133
    Likes Received:
    152
    Tbh? You're being an insecure little... yeah. :tongue: I honestly don't think she has a problem with your size. I've been with guys of all different sizes, and bigger wasn't always better. She's with you.. just keep that in mind. If you weren't good enough in some way, I don't think she'd stick around.
     
  4. MidwestGal

    MidwestGal Member

    Joined:
    Sep 24, 2006
    Messages:
    952
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    USA
    don't have a current significant other and the last person I was with was not my biggest, though not small either.
     
  5. javyn

    javyn New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 29, 2008
    Messages:
    1,031
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    0
    LOL total bullshit. Women love to stick around, haven't you ever hear of battered wife syndrome? If a woman will stick with a man who constantly beats the hell out of her, you're trying to say she won't stick around with a man who has a penis she feels may be a bit too small? Total rubbish.

     
  6. B_DEATHbyCARROT

    B_DEATHbyCARROT New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 16, 2007
    Messages:
    339
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    I agree. It would never comfort me that she's still around. Not that I'm saying this is happening here, but a woman could be around one man in spite of the sex/penis size issue. I think a lot of people discount the idea that a dude usually needs to feel like the woman really has the hots for him. This is especially true if the man is used to others having a strong reaction.

    To the OP: I don't know how but you need to put this out of your mind. The issue of your comparative size is probably only an issue for you, but the resulting lack of confidence/insecurities will probably be an issue for her... Nothing dries up pussy faster than insecurity...
     
  7. B_Nick8

    B_Nick8 New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 29, 2007
    Messages:
    11,912
    Likes Received:
    44
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    New York City, by way of Marblehead, Boston and Ge
    Any partner I've ever had has always had the dick I wanted to be with most.
     
  8. ranredd

    ranredd New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 14, 2008
    Messages:
    74
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Nottingham
    Agreeing with the other posters (and being in your shoes myself at one point) you are being an insecure little......but you know that :smile:. The problem is (just like DeathbyCarrot said) nobody knows how to concretely give the steps to "get over it". Wish I could help further. I think what helped me was thinking about girls that had larger breasts or other crap like that and thinking of how none of that mattered when thinking about my gf. Hope that starts you down the path.
     
  9. voyeuristic

    voyeuristic New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 10, 2008
    Messages:
    648
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    16
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Bay Area
    One of the nice things about non-monogamy is that one person doesn't have to meet all my needs or fantasies. I'm certainly not going to rule out an awesome person because they're not uber-hung...but I'll still be fantasizing about massive cocks sometimes, so it's nice to feel like I have the option of indulging if I should be so lucky to come across one.
     
  10. Tristessa

    Tristessa New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 9, 2007
    Messages:
    217
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Norway
    I've been with a couple of guys bigger than my boyfriend, one notably larger. I'm not at all disappointed, and never do I wish for someone larger. The sex is by far the best I've ever had, and it has to do with our sexual compatibility, not his size (although he's not exactly small). I can't answer for your girlfriend obviously, but there's a decent chance you're just being insecure.
     
  11. meerin

    meerin New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2007
    Messages:
    118
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    Can't say it any better than that. You are being insecure. As for "her still being with him in a world where he did not cheat." Sorry, the only world we get is reality. If a bigger cock was what she was interested in (and yours is not small by any means), then she would still be with him. She moved on, so obviously an 8.5" cock is not the most important thing to her.
     
  12. torontoboy

    torontoboy New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 16, 2006
    Messages:
    7
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Paris, France
    I know this is slightly off topic... but I think what voyeuristic said is the wisest thing I've heard in a long time. (OK, maybe I'm a little biased since I think that way too! It's just that I've never come across anyone who thinks that way in my own real life yet.) I think the sort of open, honest non-monogamy that she is alluding to would be my ideal as well. Although I'm not quite sure if my own fantasies would ever require someone else (unless perhaps when I get older and I develop a thing for "younger" women :tongue:), I never felt like the bond of fidelity and affection necessarily had to mean monogamy. In fact, what a great example of trust and confidence in the relationship if my partner had the courage to tell me that she wanted to "indulge" in someone/something that she had fantasised about. Of course, there is a difference between occasional indulging, or even indulging with many different people, and something becoming a routine... Although I'm a believer in non-monogamy, I don't feel that I'm wired for a polyamorous relationship. It's subtle...
     
  13. voyeuristic

    voyeuristic New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 10, 2008
    Messages:
    648
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    16
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Bay Area
    torontoboy - there's another thread about open relationships going right now, hop on over there and join in the dialogue. It sounds like you might be cut out for non-monogamy, but that you're the sort of person who prefers to have a primary partner. That's not at all uncommon; most "poly" folks I know do.

    I don't think I've been called "wise" recently, so thanks for the kudos!
     
  14. modestlyhung

    modestlyhung New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 17, 2008
    Messages:
    46
    Likes Received:
    1
    What I might suggest to getting over your insecurity is stop focusing on not having the biggest dick she ever had and start focusing on giving her the best sex she ever had, because then size becomes unimportant. Just remember, the best sex, despite what ALL magazines tell you isn't about moves or techniques its about the passion and how much you enjoy it and how much you enjoy pleasuring her.
     
  15. Mr_Cumalot

    Mr_Cumalot New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 13, 2008
    Messages:
    926
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Its just another extension of insecurity. Would it bother you if she said her ex was funnier, better looking, had a better body, had more money, was more interesting?

    I think a man can be insecure about any of these factors, and in your case you've picked on the penis size. Pick up a ruler, have a look - 7.5 to 8.5 isn't that big a difference, and you can make up for the girth (altho yours is decent) with good positioning so that your cock rubs and pulls on her clitoral area. Loads of grinding with your thrusting ;)

    I'm in the same boat as you - 7.5 x 6 - girls always say I'm big. Current girl said I was bigger "but there was one other that was big". She still says I'm the biggest - but I swear this previous bloke was bigger just from the way she talks. She just used to have sex with him - no relationship. She wanted one but he didn't. She's over that now. Should I worry that secretly she still wants him and his bigger cock? Hell no! I gotta be me, keep fucking her good and showing her the love she deserves. You do that too!
     
  16. B_andyo

    B_andyo New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 18, 2007
    Messages:
    2,009
    Likes Received:
    4
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Miami
    People often exaggerates.. :)
     
  17. AlteredEgo

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 12, 2006
    Messages:
    14,445
    Albums:
    3
    Likes Received:
    6,519
    Location:
    United States
    I dated a few guys who already owned their own homes. Most of the men I dated were college educated. Most of the men I dated knew lots of people and were able to expose me, through their networks, to new and interesting experiences and places. Nearly all of my sexual partners were very experienced and able to teach me. Most of the men I slept with had 7.5"+ x 5"+ penises. So who did I choose for myself for life?

    I chose a man who is just starting out in the world, who dropped out of college, who is shy and has only one friend, who was a virgin, who is only recently after two years of struggle becoming the sexual partner I knew he could be, who on most days has an erection of 5.5" x 5.75".

    Why did I choose him? I have my reasons. First, he's hot. Very. Second, he is smarter than I am. He knows more about almost anything than I know about everything. He's generous. I'm not talking about the fact that he'd give me anything. I mean he's generous in the ways that really count, like wanting to travel six hours by public transportation to drive me for four hours back to his starting point simply because I was too sick to drive. I mean giving me the last french fry from the bottom of the bag because the bag fries are my favorite. Yeah, plus, he'll give me anything I want, even if I think it's too big to ask for. He's gentle. And that's important because I like big guys. Oh. He is a huge, giant of a man at 6'5". He loves me. He doesn't just give lip service to love, he shows it. He's passionate, talented, funny, romantic, and wonderful to know. I love him, I'm attracted to him, I love the sex we have (even if it started out just okay in the beginning).

    His penis is half the size of the biggest I ever had. But that doesn't mean we can't have sex which is equally as good. It's not the same, of course. It's different. However, 'different' and 'better' are not the same thing. I'm not one of those women who will tell you they prefer a smaller one, or that the larger ones hurt. That's not my story. But I sure love the cock which comes home to me at night! It's average in size, but it works great, and is attached to the man of my dreams.

    If he ever comes home with some bullshit about one of my hung exes, I'll be hurt, angry, and it will damage the stability of our relationship.
     
Draft saved Draft deleted