If your friend told you he was gay....

[Knight Attrition]

It happened to me once, I'd even shared a bed with him a couple times in high school (for sleeping only mind you) during sleep overs. I didn't really care when he came out, it didn't bother me any but afterward he only seemed interested in hanging out with gays I guess he didn't want a straight friend. I haven't talked to him in years

 

[luklakls]

What am I suppose to do..disown him.

I don't see why ANYbody would be offended if their friend told them they where gay.
If you were his an didn't notice/never thought about it why would it change because of more honesty.

 

[marleyisalegend]

What am I suppose to do..disown him.

I don't see why ANYbody would be offended if their friend told them they where gay.

To the first question, unfortunately, many parents, friends, and loved ones to literally and figuratively disown their gay son/friend/nephrew/etc.. Some are cut out of wills, some are denied access to their children, etc..

To the second statement: homophobes and people with misconceptions about homosexuality.

 

[prince_will]

i would totally accept him. plus, if they reveal it to me, then i could reveal my bisexuality to them. it'd be a nice thing for us to both have, and i guess if he ever had any problems that i'd reveal his secret, he would also know mine. i wouldn't have any problem with it at all, and then i'd hope he could talk to me about any problems or struggles he's having with being gay.

i guess i like it when people reveal their secrets to me. it tells me that they trust me and feel that they could share something so personal and intimate with me. it deepens a friendship on a whole other level.

 

[sam_solo26]

I like how most if not all people (including the OP) assumed the person coming out was male. Vaginas get the short end of the stick once again.

 

[killerb]

i guess i like it when people reveal their secrets to me. it tells me that they trust me and feel that they could share something so personal and intimate with me. it deepens a friendship on a whole other level.

true, but sometimes knowing those secrets can be a bad thing...

 

[Pinhead1]

I told my best friend (male) in March this year. He is very straight and the first person I told. He was sooo surprisingly accepting, in some ways its brought us closer because hes the only guy who knows, and we trust each other with everything.

I do find coming out to females slightly easier (coz you don't have to worry about what's going on in there head so much). But I actually find females to be slightly more immature about it, yes there more poastive but they immediately paint steriotypes.

Out of the three girls I've told each have said they want to go shopping and visit a gay bar.

If someone told me it would make no difference, I would feel obliged to tell them I'm gay.

Got to tell all my other friends very soon (this week I want to).

 

[prince_will]

I like how most if not all people (including the OP) assumed the person coming out was male. Vaginas get the short end of the stick once again.

um, "if your friend told you HE was gay". ahem.

true, but sometimes knowing those secrets can be a bad thing...

yeah, that's also something. a friend told me a whopper of a secret and had me totally depressed...and there's also certain dangers in knowing certain secrets.

 

[D_Jared Padalicki]

When I didn't expect it, I would be gobsmacked. But when I already suspect him to be gay or she being lesbian, I would totally excep it, maybe a bit nervous because I don't want them to hit on me :d
Eventually I would laugh with it and ask opinions!
Don' know many people that are gay or lesbian... None of my close friends...

 

[Alex Chambers]

(not that he wants to go to bed with you) How would you take it?
Would you think of him any differently than you do now?

I actually had this happen to me. My best friend of almost 20 years told me last year he was gay. I thought he was just really bad with women--turns out he is, just not for the reasons I suspected. I was a little surprised, though, as he went from being a fundamentalist Christian (and we know from reading the signs those protesters carry that God doesn't like gays) to a homosexual, seemingly, overnight. At any rate, he is still cool regardless of which gender he is chasing.

 

[OCMuscleJock]

I actually had this happen to me. My best friend of almost 20 years told me last year he was gay. I thought he was just really bad with women--turns out he is, just not for the reasons I suspected. I was a little surprised, though, as he went from being a fundamentalist Christian (and we know from reading the signs those protesters carry that God doesn't like gays) to a homosexual, seemingly, overnight. At any rate, he is still cool regardless of which gender he is chasing.

funny thing is... most of the people like this *aka: Homophobes* are the ones with the real sexual identity issues. Even my best friend used to be one of those guys that would say "if that fucking faggot looks at me again, I'm going to kick his ass!!* and now he's a huge gay man slut. OF course we kinda went thru the curious stage together...not playing together..but at the same time...so I knew about him WAY before he ever knew about me.

 

[D_Landrocke DeLonguepiece III]

I might think a bit differently, but our friendship would not change. At least I would hope not.

 

[canctrnsplnt]

Hey! I lost a friend once for telling him I am gay. However, I think he REALLY left me alone because he found out I "go both ways" when it comes to MAC vs PC ...he is a MAC guy.

 

[Cum_is_Great]

Wow, I REALLY wish some of you were my friends IRL. If my friend told me they were gay, I'd tell them I was too! I wouldn't change anything other than now I can actually talk to him about "gay stuff" lol. We would become closer friends. Unfortunately , although at least one of my friends seems like nothing would change, (In fact he assumed I was gay for years and I never "corrected him" being still closeted) most of my other friends may or may not stop talking to me.

 

[Honky16]

I'd definitely not treat my friend any differently. I'd hope for the same if I were in their situation, obviously.

A couple days ago, I actually came out for the first time to someone close to me. It was one of the most nerve wracking and terrifying things I've ever done, or so it felt like. I was so lucky that he was understanding (and I'm not really sure why, he's gay himself) but just the whole fact of giving away this secret you've held so close for most likely so long can really be terrifying.

But with or without the experience of having gone through it myself, I know I would treat my friend no differently. It's a part of them that you have to accept with the rest of them.

 

[Tsun]

a friend did made is comming out to me and it didn't really bothered me at all, he's one of my high school best friend, throwing away a friendship just for that would have been stupid. I'll still be a great friend to him and be there to support him when he'll eventualy tell his very conservative mother about it.

 

[B_New End]

I am starting to be able to sense if they are. I have had one person come out ot me, and I have a friend I know is, so when he does, I'll tell him I had known since about the 3rd day we hung out.

 

[killerb]

the funny thing about people coming out is that people in their circle usually already know...

I have an older cousin who had this "girlfriend" for decades and the running joke was "when are they finally gonna get married?"

what I didn't know was that he was gay & she was his beard...

most of the family already knew, but it was never discussed & he remained in the closet (or so he thought) until he was in his 50s.

and when it finally became common knowledge, nobody really cared...

 

[midlifebear]

I think the title of this thread should read: When (not if) your friend tells you he's gay.

 

[whabb]

Over the past 40 years, I've had several friends, both male & female, tell me they were gay. In each case, I truthfully told them that I sorta had that figured out already, that it had never made one bit of difference to me in the past, and that it never would in the future.

I choose friends for all kinds of reasons and I'm not the least concerned if they're gay, bi, or straight.