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If your genitals could talk...

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What would they say? How would they say it? Would it have an accent, slur, or speak another language? If it had a personality, what type of..er....person would it be? How would it feel about your current sex life?
 

MickeyLee

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Jenny talks creole.
she tells a lot of dick jokes.
 

erratic

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What would they say? You suck...

How would they say it? ...while winking suggestively.

Would it have an accent, slur, or speak another language? Nah, he's not precious like that.

If it had a personality, what type of..er....person would it be? Endlessly optimistic. After all, he's always giving me the thumb's up.

How would it feel about your current sex life? He's quite pleased. He doesn't need to be verbal to tell me that.
 

ManofThunder

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My penis would definitely have an English accent and speak in the manner of James Bond. For example, "Miss Moneypenny, I had a most up-lifting meeting with Dr Goodhead last night." I think my penis would make a lot of sexual puns and smoke a cigar. Also, it would never be seen out without a bow-tie.
 

BIGDP

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Being a circumcised American but also aTexan, mine would say, "I am big!" I wish I had a foreskin still but have never had a complaint about my dick and my nuts are big enough that you may not be able to get both of them in your mouth. No worries, though. Themain message is that I AM BIG. (And getting drunky wunky.)
 
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Mine would say either, "STOP CHOKING ME!" or "JELQ HARDER!". I'm not sure which.
And I think I would want it to be with an Australian accent.
And I think it would wear high heels and sweaters cause it is always trying to look taller and bigger.
 

silvertriumph2

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It would be in a Southern accent....and he would say..

He's always getting into things...very curious. He sometimes is an embarassment by getting excited and drooling all over the
place...but otherwise a nice guy and I have no complaints...

He has never mentioned being unhappy with my sex life, so I can only believe he is quite ok and satisfied with it....

He's always saying...
DON'T STOP...PLEASE DON'T STOP!!! NOT YET, NOT YET
JUST A LITTLE MORE, PLEASE!!!
 

willow78

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Not you again!

Put me down!

Stop tickling me!

You're giving me a headache!

I think I'm going to be sick!
 

B_JenniTalia

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I imagine my genitalia would speak unaccented English (North American variety) in a learned tone. Incontestably, they would have to possess a calm and warm personality, all the while posing questions such as "who rules who?" and "now why would you want us to do a thing like that?"

Mixed feelings would undoubtedly arise regarding my sex life. To start, they probably resent being my thralls of ecstasy and the tumult which follows, yet are wary of holding any grudges because they know how majestic our shared experiences have been.

Not once did I imagine I would live to see the day where I applied personification to my lady bits!
 

B_subgirrl

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My genitals sound suspiciously like me. They regularly ask me why the fuck I'm not giving them what they need. They feel neglected and keep insisting that toys and cocks are not equivalent.
 

SprinkleMe69

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She'd have a voice like Estelle from "Friends" (Joey's agent) and her biggest complaint right now would be neglect. Hahaha need a trim and some lovin'. She'd even smoke a cigarette. Hahaha
 

Daichii

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sup where've you been.. look atchu..

Or Hey sup. Where were u? No no get off me it's fine. Ok just a little. That feels nice.
 

Drifterwood

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He put the glass to his lips, and drank at one gulp. A cry followed; he reeled, staggered, clutched at the table and held on, staring with injected eyes, gasping with open mouth; and as I looked there came, I thought, a change—he seemed to swell—his face became suddenly black and the features seemed to melt and alter—and at the next moment, I had sprung to my feet and leaped back against the wall, my arm raised to shield me from that prodigy, my mind submerged in terror.
 

willow78

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(Angrily) "How would you like it if I grabbed YOU by the neck and shook you up and down all day, hmm?"
 

Intrigue

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well the cock would think he's in charge while the balls feel like they do al the work! And they would talk like a grumpy old Jewish couple. The cock always fussing at the balls for getting in the way. And the balls at the cock fr never getting them a raincoat. They always end up soaked! ;-)
 

D_Tim McGnaw

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My dick would speak Galician. It would quote 15th century Aragonese love poems and seduce you with it's mellifluous charm.

I mean come on, if I can't be then natural justice dictates that my dick should be a smooth muthafucka.