Among others.....
"Ahh it burns like razors."
"Don't stick me in there, it's warm and sticky"
"Bengay makes condoms..?"
"Please, shave me, I'm being smothered down here."
"Where is my cell phone, I'm so tweeting about her piercing."
"I wonder who I'm going into tonight..?"
"Nice to meet, you, my name is penis! What's yours?" "Oh vagina, that's a pretty name."
~ Plunges in~
"Great, more lotion."
"I just had sexxxx, and it fellttt sooo gooodd... Felt sooo gooooood. I got put, inside of her." ~Mean while the Lonely Island & Akon instrumental plays in the background, whilst white fireworks explode in the background~
"In all 50 states it's illegal to put a bag over someones head, hey ass hole! Tell your girlfriend to poke a hole in it so I can have some breathing room."