If Your Guy Wanted To Know....

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by Nekoman, Oct 15, 2010.

  1. Nekoman

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    If your guy wanted to hear about some past escapades....

    If he wanted to hear about...

    Your first love..

    Your biggest...

    Your smallest....

    Would you tell him?

    My wife doesn't blab, would you?
     
  2. HiddenLacey

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    Yes, though the big/ small question would be strange. That would be like me asking if his ex was looser/ tighter... there's no point in knowing that information. I would hope that he would understand that he was the important one now or I wouldn't be with him.
     
  3. Nekoman

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    Could it be that he just wanted to hear some sexy talk to get hot, to fantasize?

    It doesn't matter that he may not be the biggest -- could be he just wants to imagine you with a big one? The image, maybe, turns him on. It's not necessarily going to hurt his feelings to hear the truth.
     
  4. petite

    petite New Member

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    Complicated questions and lots of it depends on the man and how long we've been together and what I've learned about how jealous or secure he is.

    This is how I think. If I'm with a guy and he's extremely indiscreet about personal details of women who have trusted him and confided in him and he's told me humiliating things about them or things I'm sure that they don't want me to know, then I don't trust him with my secrets, my sensitive information, my kinks, my intimate thoughts, because he's shown me that later on I'll be the one on the dissection table for some other woman that I don't know and whom I don't trust to examine me and pick me apart. I don't ever want any man I'm with to feel that way. I feel like he knows that I'm trustworthy, if I prove it by not betraying the trust of other people who have trusted me before.

    I never reveal certain information, like the cock sizes of my previous lovers. Actually, that's been really easy for me. I've never had a man ask me that question, so I've never had to answer it.

    With TheBF, the fact that he's the largest came out because of certain predictable bedroom problems that eventually led me here to seek out solutions.

    Now, things like my first love, I might tell, depending on the man and our relationship and why he's asking (that is, if you're asking about the emotional/relationship stuff or general sex talk and not specific sexual details that I feel should be between me and someone else). It is part of my personal history and those experiences helped create who I am today and some of those experiences inform the ideas and beliefs that I have now, so depending on how it came up and how it's being discussed and in what kind of context and depending on his motivation for listening, I might share a lot about myself. I think it would make us closer.

    I agree. Completely.

    Nope. I wouldn't go there. Sorry. No way!

    I've been here on LPSG long enough for certain suspicions I've had my entire life about the way that men think and feel about their cocks and cock sizes to be driven home to me over and over again. It turns out that it's way worse than I ever imagined. There's no way I'd even entertain such fantasies now. Nuh-uh. Nope. Not going to do it.
     
  5. B_subgirrl

    B_subgirrl New Member

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    I'll tell anything if asked. Except about the smallest.
     
  6. Nekoman

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    Why not? No need to name names, just tell the story about some faceless cock.
     
  7. B_subgirrl

    B_subgirrl New Member

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    I'm not too great at keeping details IN once I start talking. Best if I just keep my mouth shut about the ones that don't need to be spoken about (includes those that were particularly bad in bed).
     
  8. D_Rosalind Mussell

    D_Rosalind Mussell New Member

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    I already answered these questions already with my husband. Years ago during the first year we were dating he got curious and decided to ask. I told him that I would answer his questions honestly, but to be mindful of what he asked and to not ask questions he didn't think he could handle the answer to. He decided to move forward and ask a bunch of questions (including all of the above) and I held nothing back, answering him honestly. It ended up being one of the best things I did because he grew to appreciate that honesty, plus he learned a lot about who I am. Also, I found out years later that my first love Ray died in a motorcycle accident 6 months prior. Because I had already lost one man that I loved years before that the situation opened my inner pandora's box. The fact that I had shared all of this stuff with my husband made him more sympathetic and understanding to how badly I reacted to Ray's death. I can see why some people wouldn't share so much with their spouses, but it was good for my husband and I...and it still is.
     
  9. petite

    petite New Member

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    So, TheBF and i were on a long drive today, and I brought up this thread. He said, "So no one has ever asked you how big your ex-boyfriend's cocks were?"

    "Nope. Not a single one."

    That mischievous wicked grin of his spread across his face and he said, "So... How big were your ex-boyfriend's penises?"

    :tongue:
     
  10. B_subgirrl

    B_subgirrl New Member

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    Did you answer? :biggrin1:
     
  11. petite

    petite New Member

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    "Oh, they were all MUCH bigger than yours." After I stopped laughing, of course.

    Ask a stupid question... :tongue:
     
    #11 petite, Oct 17, 2010
    Last edited: Oct 17, 2010
  12. B_subgirrl

    B_subgirrl New Member

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    ROFL :biggrin1: A typically Petite answer :biggrin1:
     
  13. basstoo

    basstoo New Member

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    Before me and my wife got hitched we both came out of bad long term relationships,so we talked openly and did not want to hide anything so we answerd all of thoughs questions and likes,dislikes,sex its the best relationship I ever had,keep all open !
     
  14. Nekoman

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    Did he just let you go with that answer?
     
  15. sandiasky9

    sandiasky9 Member

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    I believe a big part in deciding to answer would be "why" the guy wants to know. I don't ask about the past if just dating. But the last time I was in a relationship that I was really digging and thinking would grow and last (it did both) I asked questions similar to this list.
    I wanted to know that she had had a satistifying romance and sex life in the past so her future fantasies would be just fantasies (versus, "oh, I wish I would have experienced this and that"). I wanted to know some things that led to her being who she was too. I wanted to know reasons for break-ups with intent being what where her show-stoppers in relationships. Also, I wanted to learn about her sexuality and sensual points... yeah, this is a cheap and easy way of finding things out (versus one step at a time) as she shared some of the "why's" about her top three lovers (her theme was the passion - so I made it a point to make sure I every now and again "just took her" when I just had to have her sexually).

    Lastly, I didn't want to be what she settled for - this had happened to me before... the relationship went a few steps then stuck and after some digging found about "that guy". "That guy" was a stud in her past that broke up with her and she continued to long for and think of and wish for and so though we had an okay thing it was just an okay thing and being a greedy bastard I wanted to be more than "since I can't have ___, ____ will do".
     
  16. Nekoman

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  17. petite

    petite New Member

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    Oh, yes. He was being facetious when he asked, a rabble-rouser. He wanted to make me laugh. There isn't much he doesn't know about my sexual history by now, and he really doesn't care about my ex-bf's penis sizes.

    He feels jealous over things like how much I respect other men, although he doesn't act jealous, which I love about him. If I praise an ex-bf's career accomplishments or sound like I'm in awe of any character traits or I compliment another man's mind, I can tell that it hits home just a little bit and he wants to be the one who is the better man in all those ways. Those are the things that make him feel competitive. He doesn't give a damn about their cock sizes. Of all the things to feel competitive over, I think those are the right things.

    Like he said, it isn't like he can change the size of his penis, so what's the point? Although he did joke about whether there are any anti-jelqing techniques yesterday... :tongue:
     
    #17 petite, Oct 18, 2010
    Last edited: Oct 18, 2010
  18. Bbucko

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    All of my exes (LTRs) were given at least the Cliff Notes version of my sexual history, because it's part of my emotional history. Without a proper understanding of one, there can be no rational understanding of the other.

    This was not always a wise thing, though, in hindsight. It sparked intense jealousy in two guys, and an oddly feigned disgust in another. Had I completely understood the drama that would ensue, I'd have probably been more discrete.

    For the record, none of my exes have ever asked about penises: none.
     
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