If your partner said they were no longer interested in sex...

if this occurred you would

  • put my foot down and tell them you will not accept a sexless relationship

    Votes: 29 26.1%
  • accept it especially if you don't think sex is the most important part of your relationship

    Votes: 24 21.6%
  • tell them it is okay and get your 'fix' out side of the relationship

    Votes: 34 30.6%
  • leave them/end the relationship

    Votes: 11 9.9%
  • other

    Votes: 13 11.7%

  • Total voters
    111

B_slimjimpencil

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i notice many couples go through this especially when they start reaching up in years. many times it is the wife that loses all interest or the husband struggles to keep it up. my question applies to all males (obviously) regardless of sexuality


if your partner said they were no longer interested in sex .... what would you do? (i include some options in the poll but this is the type of situation where responses would vary based on the specificity of the situation such as how long you have been together, how old you are when this happens, if you love the persons etc. so please feel free to elaborate or choose other and explain)
 
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socalfreak

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As amazingly off- the- freakin' - charts hot the sex is with my girl, the connection I have with her is even stronger. I'm standing by her for as long as she wants me.

On a side note......with her libido, I am pretty goddamn sure that I'll never be faced with this issue. :)
 

D_BenJo_Ahanakokolele

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I know sex is not the most important thing in a relationship but it still is important to some extent. If my top told me he no longer wanted sex, just because he didn't want to then I'm sorry but i need me some sex..... now it would be different if he had a hard time keeping it up. Cause if that was the case then i would stay with him. It's not his fault. I don't know if I'm getting my message across....
 

D_Ida_Ho

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First off i'd wonder why, out of worry. Don't know if this is a side effect of watching med commercials and their side effects but i'd want to make sure it wasn't some sort of health issue. If during that talk i found out that it was something i did or didn't do then i'd work on it. If temporary i'd give her time. If permanent as in she were no longer attracted to me then i'm out the door.
 

pcghabsy

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It depends on the nature of the relationship. If it's a long term relationship (e.g. marriage) I'll accept it and talk it through. I can live without sex for a while. If it's a sexually charged fling, a different matter altogether.
 

toolman4897

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As amazingly off- the- freakin' - charts hot the sex is with my girl, the connection I have with her is even stronger. I'm standing by her for as long as she wants me.

On a side note......with her libido, I am pretty goddamn sure that I'll never be faced with this issue. :)


I learned a long time ago never say never..


For better or for worse was a vow i took ,it never said when it gets to where you dont like it bail out...been thru many medical and other issues on both our parts that have lead to a sexless marrage,doesnt mean its a loveless marrage,its just not like it was 20 years ago of banging away 2-3 times a night every night...
 

MisterSlave

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I voted for (other)

Because, communication in a relationship is important. Sex, to me, is very important. If my partner did not wish to continue, I would want to know why. I feel that inside a relationship, sex can reaffirm a bond between 2 people. If my partner wished to no longer do those kinds of intimate activities with me, I would want to know why that is. I would have all kinds of questions I would ask him ranging from: Is it a medical reason, to. . do you just not find me attractive anymore.

Whatever the case this is a situation that I would see, as requiring a long heart to heart conversation. It might determine the course of my own progression in the relationship, or perhaps leave the relationship. It would be a situation that requires discussion.

Syl'
 

Dell1962

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As I am in this type of relationship, I voted for other. Sure, put my foot down, "Damn it woman, no sex, no relationship." Her reply, "Fine. Go." I have found a woman who will put up with me. The reason she does not want sex is due to her lack of labido. That came from her going through menopause and the total drop in the hormones. Not her fault, she can't wave a magic wand and fix it. So, I stay. Now, if something were to come along and offer me a FWB type thing, I might take it. But leave her, get a divorce, marry someone else....nah, I don't think so. Been there, done that. What she does not know will not hurt anything. And every now and then, she does get in the mood.. and it is GREAT.
 

bluebassett

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Hey Dell. My woman is menopausal at 53. She still has a great libido. You may want to read up on sex drive and menopause. They say all the changes a woman is feeling is sometimes the deterent, itself, that can affect sex drive. Not necessarily missing libido, but attention focused elsewhere. You Follow?
 

D_Miss_Demeanor

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I'm unlikely to be in the position for a while, but getting no sex at all from a partner is something I'd find hard to take. It's a normal natural part of a relationship.
 

Dell1962

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Blue, I follow and we have done the reading. Does not change the fact she simply has no desire, period. I once dated a couple of women who had historectomies and they were almost nymphomanics! I understand it is different with different women. In my wife's case, I truly think she is just done with it as she was very promiscuous when she was younger and she has had LOTS of different lovers. I think she honestly is just not interested in it anymore.
 

Zorgolio

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One of my greater fears is to "end up" with a woman who is not into sex. I would not accept a sexless relationship, I think.
 

craigsmith

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I am married age 50 wife age 54. We have not had sex in about 5 years. She does not want to have sex and my medication makes it hard for me to get an erection. I am a diabetic with HPB so the medication keeps me from getting hard. WE used to have sex all the time. Now, never. Her sister asked her if we were still having sex and she told her sister she did'nt want to have sex anymore. My wife has 3 broken vertebra in the neck area and after 2 surgeries it is still broken. She is on a lot of pain meds and hurts all the time. WE did try it her on top and she ended up in the ER with her neck hurting. WE have tried it several way after the surgery and she was always in so much pain that she could not do it anymore. She is not into oral sex or me playing with her at all either. I tried and she said she did not want too. I have turned to getting sex with guys. Mainly just sucking cock only or being a bottom sometimes. Ive gotten to when I love and crave cock and cum now and cant get enough. I can get hard when sucking or getting my nipples sucked and can get hard when I get fucked but that is about it.
 

gimme_another_inch

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In my case it was something I heard already out of my partner when telling me about previous relationship, we got to the same point she was already, I guess it was a matter of time before it happens, I had (and still have) high sexual drive while she seemed to have it only at the beginning to keep us next to her, then the descending phase and, I guess, looking for another one and to repeat the cycle until finding one who is not "obsessed" with sex (which is not me, am not obsessed but I think it is an important part of a successful relationship where I don't want to look for what is missing in mine somewhere else).
 

gimme_another_inch

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On the other hand a close person to me told me that even though she too had problems with libido due to meds and due to a bad time with her partner she made him "happy" 'cos she believes sex is an important part of a relationship, I don't mean no relationship can exist without it but it got to be a mutual give and take, women think that for us to ejaculate means we got it, we are done and satisfied, to me to have my partner to climax is the main goal, whatever I can use to reach the goal fits, I don't mean it should be the same for both but with a little effort, if there is will, the relationship can be taken further and further besides eventual problems, to pretend not to have sex any longer is a sign of selfishness in my opinion, especially when the one who pretends so knows the other part is in love with her/him.
 

BigD_2

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This has happened to me. Partner basically said "it's not you, it's me, I'm just not that into sex these days" but basically gave me carte blanche to take care of my sexual needs outside the relationship. Which I did. But, at some point doesn't any relationship need to have some sort of connection in order to work? I'm not saying physical connection is the only thing, but shouldn't there be something there? It was hard for me to justify spending time each week looking for guys to have sex with while also needing to spend time each week with my partner who I loved. So eventually we broke up and went our separate ways. I didn't answer the poll because it wasn't as simple as
BF: I'm no longer interested in sex.
BigD_2: OK, I'm leaving you/ending the relationship.
It was hard and wrenching and you feel shitty for letting lack of sex kill a relationship with a lot of good things in it. But, I guess I did eventually leave for that reason.
 
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Lee_Fuller79

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Can't believe so many guys chose the first and third option I'd definitely choose the second option and I know if there was a problem on my part shed choose the second option. If I was still horny id start giving myself hand shandies
 

johnweek1

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Sex is a very important part of a relationship. If she chose not to have sex with me then I wouldn't stand it. That's just not acceptable. But if there medical or physical or even psychological reasons, really valid ones, I would stand by her.

You can't just suddenly deprive your spouse of sex because you don't feel like doing it anymore. Relationships are about love and compromise, if you can't reach some form comprise on the sex issue then she's just being selfish. There is no "i" in team. Relationships are a team. It's unfair and selfish when one person gets to decide a course of action for two people.