if your SO/Partner falls hard moneywise

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by D_Maurice Mountlilly, Dec 8, 2010.

  1. D_Maurice Mountlilly

    D_Maurice Mountlilly Account Disabled

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    what would you do if that special someone lost it all?what if something happened where they wouldn't be able to work again(for whatever reason)
    and what if you couldn't have whatever luxuries and nice lifestyle you were used to?
    how long would you stay with that person?and would you look at them diffrently?
     
  2. Charles Finn

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    been there done that
     
  3. B_curiousme01

    B_curiousme01 New Member

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    I said "I Do and Till Death Do Us Part." I understood what I was saying and I meant it. He is worth more than anything I could ever buy, be given, or otherwise acquire. If he hurts, I do too.
     
  4. nudeyorker

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    That's why there is the clause "For better or for worse, in sickness and in health." You deal with it.
     
  5. Drifterwood

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    And pay the insurance :cool:
     
  6. D_Mona Samore

    D_Mona Samore Account Disabled

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    If I had a SO, I would give him as much support and encouragement as I could and hope he would be the same if roles were reversed.
     
  7. AlteredEgo

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    My husband is the breadwinner. He makes just under twice what I do. If he can't work anymore, I am going to have to seriously bust my ass. Also, there are things we could do without. We don't need Cable, or air-conditioning. I could get by without a VOIP land line now that my cell phone does wifi calling. We don't need three bedrooms. There are only two of us. We could sort it out. And honestly, I could make more money if I had to.
     
  8. B_Hung Jon

    B_Hung Jon New Member

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    If I'm committed to my SO, I'd do whatever it takes to help and support them. I wouldn't leave them. But then again I haven't been in a situation like that so I'm not certain exactly what I would do. If the situation were reversed though, I'd hope that my partner would stand by me.
     
  9. DavidXL

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    That's a difficult situation to be in. I know from 2 family situations that the person who did the supporting ended up being very bitter and the relationships were miserable (one ended in divorce; the other one has stayed together by the thinnest of threads and makes the people around them miserable with a fair degree of regularity).

    I believe in for better or for worse, but there could be circumstances where that might not be justified (e.g., if the person's problems are fixable and they aren't doing anything to help themselves).
     
  10. B_nyvin

    B_nyvin New Member

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    Probably distance myself from him and make sure he doesn't do anything stupid. We probably wouldn't be "SO"'s much longer to be honest.
     
  11. XSILVER

    XSILVER Well-Known Member

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    Deal and make it work. As long as I can have a roof over my head and food in my stomach accompied with his love, theres nothing more i NEED in life. Money has a way of making us all beleive that we need something as appose to wanting something. We all like the finer things in life but there are prople far worse off.
     
  12. silvertriumph2

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    I would hope that our love would withstand anything that was put before us.
    I would never leave...if that is what you are getting at. I would
    support, comfort, and love just as before. If living conditions and adjustment were necessary, then so be it..we will make
    them and share the problem(s) equally.

    I do not take commitments lightly..
     
  13. Countryguy63

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    Money is not where my attraction is.

    That said, it would really depend on how they handled the situation. Not sure what the reason would be that they couldn't ever work again? If a crippling accident / disease, how could that be held over them?

    Now, if they didn't take whatever initiative to do whatever they were still capable of, then we might have an issue, but not because of money.

    Lots of variables
     
  14. DaveyR

    DaveyR Retired Moderator
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    I'd be even more protective than I am already.
     
  15. fratpack

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    In the middle of that situation now. I'm the one on the down side but partner and I have been together for so long. Love is what matters. He is there for me and I am there for him and that is all that matters. You don't bail out when things get rough, you stay by each other in all things good and bad.
     
  16. arktrucker

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    After being with my partner for 27.5 years, through the very very thick... and the very very thin, a year and a half ago, he was diagnosed with two types of cancer. Through one surgery to remove an aggressive melanoma that had effected the lymph nodes just under his jaw in the neck and an experimental type of radiation treatment (which I heartily approve of) he has been cancer free for almost a year. Of course we know that is very early but through all of this, never was there any thought of leaving.
    I might add one other note here, I know there are gay people that have had a rough time with being able to see their SO's while they are in the hospital or getting information from the Dr's and you would think that our being here in dead in the center Arkansas, where 'queers' get shot, we would experience resistance from medical staff. Never, not once while he was in the hospital did that happen. I guess we're lucky. I was questioned one time by a nurse who told me it was family only and his sister told her I was his lover and to back off. That was the only time there was any question.

    Now just one more thing. If there is a question in your mind about leaving because your SO has lost everything, there must not have been anything there between you two to loose. What does that say about your character to leave when the chips are down. Love doesn't run away.
     
  17. Countryguy63

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    Yoy and your partner are very lucky to have each other :smile:
    Kudos to his Sis :wink:

     
  18. curioustitan

    curioustitan Member

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    I've been in a situation where i gave my all, financially and emotionally to an "interest" during a very difficult patch where he was unemployed and horribly miserable as a result of low self esteem.
    The other friends either left altogether (when times are dark, friends are few....indeed) or had minimal contact during this period.
    However, after a long battle that really took its toll on both of us, i was convinced that the experience would temper our 'relationship' and only strengthen the bond between us......obviously i was alone in this idea as when he managed to get back up on his feet financially as well as emotionally, there was no end to the 'cavorting' and 'carousing' from his side. All the old friends came crawling out of the woodworks and he seemed to have forgotten them leaving him in the first place.
    While we weren't officially 'together', it would have been nice to know that he could have recognised the endless toiling on my part to push him through the tough times.
    Admittedly, i was rather bitter for a spell shortly after this, but realised that it was my choice to 'stick it out' and his to 'be on his merry' way.
    People will always approach situations like this differently and with varying degrees of loyalty and often, in most relationships, one person is always doing the 'heavy' lifting....whether it be financially, emotionally or psychologically etc.

    The best thing to do is not to have any expectations of your partner should you decide to be the supportive one during the tough times and hope to have a form of reciprocation.
    If they do return the effort in kind one day...great.
    If not, well, that's their perogative and one shouldn't allow it to affect them adversely. (Although, it did me.)
     
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