I'll take my Bailout now, thank you

Discussion in 'Politics' started by Rikter8, Oct 5, 2009.

  1. Rikter8

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    I'll take my personal bailout now please.

    I'll take it in large denominations. 1.5 million shoud suffice for this month.

    Oh, and I'll need a government supplied vehicle, since the cash for clunkers destroyed all of the parts to repair my old car.

    Oh, and I need to know where to take my telephone and utilities bill, mortgage bill, and student loan bills so they can be paid too.

    Work? Sorry, no can do. I was forced to sign a non-compete clause that prohibits me from getting another job in the same field for a period of 2 years. So, I'll need unemployment for 2 years minimum.

    Don't forget my free health care with frequent visits to the E.R. for the sniffles, and remember to give me the good pain medicine.

    Oh, and don't forget my free handicap sticker so I can park in the fire lane at Wal-Mart.... sideways.
     
    #1 Rikter8, Oct 5, 2009
    Last edited: Oct 5, 2009
  2. SilverTrain

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    Your bailout went to Halliburton.
     
  3. Rikter8

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    Damnnit... I bet it paid for Cheney's colostomy bag...
     
  4. petergroot

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    And they REALY need it more than you.
     
  5. HazelGod

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    Sorry, Rikter...you must be able to show a 5-year average net worth of at least $200 million in order to qualify for assistance from the federal government. Tax receipts for any six-figure donation to at least one incumbent federal politician during the past eight years might slip $50M off that minimum requirement, but only if you're willing to take a shot in the mouth.
     
  6. Ericsson1228d

    Ericsson1228d Member

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    Just get Geithner to do your taxes. Or Rangel.
     
  7. Rikter8

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    Monica Lewinsky Style?
     
  8. B_Nick8

    B_Nick8 New Member

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    You have no idea how much I need.
     
  9. Rikter8

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    Yes, but once we have the routing number...heheheheh...
     
  10. B_VinylBoy

    B_VinylBoy New Member

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    I swear, if anyone of you start sending out e-mails pretending to be some owner of diamond mines from Kenya... :biggrin:
     
  11. Zeuhl34

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    I don't know about any Kenyan diamond mines, though I could hook him up with a Nigerian prince or two.:biggrin1:
     
  12. B_VinylBoy

    B_VinylBoy New Member

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    Yeah, that's the other one.
    It's so bad for Nigeria, that the name itself triggers junk mail filters on mail servers. I can only wonder how it must feel to live in a country where everything coming from it digitally is looked upon by the rest of the world as spam? :biggrin:
     
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