Sounds like somebody I used to know. We got into bitter arguments every day, but we loved those fights. He was my friend, and I cherished his beautiful mind. He had a crush on me, but I was always dismissive of his romantic overtures. He was suitable neither for dating nor sex, because he was in too dark a headspace. So much self loathing. I almost never saw him face to face, because his depression made it hard to lure him out of his house, and his house was too squalid to visit. One day he got sick and very suddenly died. I miss him. I felt close to him. I had begged him to get help. When he died, I finally met his best friend, who called to notify me. His friend and I are now close. Similar guy. Slowly, he's turned his life around. No more living like a squatter in his own home. No more pity party. No more misanthropy. No more ignoring his health. He did miss out on getting the girl though. There was a lovely woman on the fringe who just couldn't wait for him to get his shit together, and (rightly) would not proceed until he did. He's like a big bro to me and I love him, but I've known him for over a decade and until last year he was gross.
Don't be like these guys. Don't waste time. Get help immediately.