I'm 51 lonely had a great relationship

technogeek

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My x has Bipolar issues. I'm epileptic. We are great in bed together. Love doing things like movies going to dinner. Family time. She recently ended it. May on mothers day my mother had a bad spill, knocked out some teeth and it scared me. I rushed down to see if everything was alright but was asked not to return. Broke my heart but I'm trying to move on. Ladies I am 51 I don't know how to date. Approach women. Help I'm getting depressed hearing about my friends dying from prostate cancer from lack of use. What's an old bi friendly male to do.I need new friends. I came here because I do need advice.
 
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LaFemme

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First of all, prostate cancer isn’t caused through lack of use. If it’s a fear, just make sure you are seeing your doctor regularly for check-ups. Read up on what early signs might be so that you are aware of when you might need to be checked. Know your own body. Men tend to put off medical things when they’re afraid of them - don’t do that.

Secondly, when it comes to dating at 51 - always work on yourself first. You’re hurting. Heal yourself first. Get to know yourself, what you want, who you are. Be comfortable with your own company. Be the person you’d like to date. When you know who you are, you are more likely to be happy with who you find.

If you’ve been half of a couple for a long period of time, you might be tempted to jump into something else too soon - you feel incomplete. You aren’t. You are a complete person on your own. A woman worth having doesn’t want a fixer-upper. That’s what you are now. You are flailing about in pain. Take some time and start to feel good about who you are.

How to approach women? Like another human being. Kindly. With respect. With interest. But not like a drowning man, or like you’re afraid. Right now, that’s kind of how you’re coming across.

So take some time. Be kind to yourself. Learn to like yourself again. You can only like someone else as much as you like yourself.
 

Tight_N_Juicy

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Don't bother with dating until it happens naturally. Being single can be perfectly enjoyable too.

Take time to enjoy yourself. If you look at it from a different perspective, you can really get to enjoy being around yourself. It's liberating and is good for the mind, which in turn makes it easier/more enjoyable to socialize. You just can't force it...

Prostate cancer from lack of sex? You can jerk off anyway. You don't have to have a partner to use your penis. Besides that I'm pretty sure that's not what causes prostate cancer.
 

AlteredEgo

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Don't approach from a place of loneliness. Create an abundant, happy life, and opportunities to make new memories will come naturally. If at the time that your healing is complete and your life already has a focus, you find that meetingthe right kind of people for dating is difficult, try out all kinds of avenues, including online dating, meet-up groups, etc. But first, start the healing process, make a happy life, and approach from a position of adding to existing joy.
 

technogeek

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Thank you for the support. Getting over a very long relationship is hard. I'm trying to get back into the dating game. It's just frustrating with so many fake people on the dating sites makes me mad.
It will happen....
 

AlteredEgo

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It may not be time to get back into the dating game, as you put it. You just had a breakup in May of a relationship you yourself say was a long one. Seven months is not a long time for healing, and very likely not long enough. After a painful breakup, I generally do go out and replace the sex immediately. I do not mistake this for dating. I'm not dating, I'm fucking. I wouldn't inflict half a somewhat broken version of myself on another person.
 

technogeek

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Ok I have to work on Me...
I am a good person...
No more negative thinking.
Positive everything working
I am a great lover. Father .compassionate
Forgiving hardest worker I know.
Cook clean healthy good hygiene. Smart
Cons . Balding epileptic pot smoker
Confidence problems. Depressed
OCD manic. I'm just fucked who would want to. Be with me. I'm a piece of dirt.
 
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LaFemme

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Ok I have to work on Me...
I am a good person...
No more negative thinking.
Positive everything working
I am a great lover. Father .compassionate
Forgiving hardest worker I know.
Cook clean healthy good hygiene. Smart
Cons . Balding epileptic pot smoker
Confidence problems. Depressed
OCD manic. I'm just fucked who would want to. Be with me. I'm a piece of dirt.
Depression and OCD are two of the most easily dealt with mental health issues. See a doctor and see a therapist. Period. You need to talk this out with a professional, you need medication. What you do not need is to talk this out with strangers on the internet or to look at starting another relationship.

See a doctor and see a therapist. You will be feeling quite differently in a fairly short amount of time. This will pass. Absolutely everything does. Make an appointment tomorrow. No excuses.
 
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If you say you're undatable then I'll believe you.
After all you know yourself better than what I do.
I'll take your word for it.

In your current state, if what you're saying is true then YES, you're 100%
correct.
You're not datable.

Get therapy.
Or don't.

I really don't care and I'm not going to indulge you anymore.
Attention isn't a viable substitute for therapy.

Get help.
 

Tight_N_Juicy

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Ok I have to work on Me...
I am a good person...
No more negative thinking.
Positive everything working
I am a great lover. Father .compassionate
Forgiving hardest worker I know.
Cook clean healthy good hygiene. Smart
Cons . Balding epileptic pot smoker
Confidence problems. Depressed
OCD manic. I'm just fucked who would want to. Be with me. I'm a piece of dirt.

You smoke pot and you think you're a piece of dirt?

You need to find a different strain...

@Bonfire is right. You're undatable, because you label yourself that way.
 

AlteredEgo

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Sounds like somebody I used to know. We got into bitter arguments every day, but we loved those fights. He was my friend, and I cherished his beautiful mind. He had a crush on me, but I was always dismissive of his romantic overtures. He was suitable neither for dating nor sex, because he was in too dark a headspace. So much self loathing. I almost never saw him face to face, because his depression made it hard to lure him out of his house, and his house was too squalid to visit. One day he got sick and very suddenly died. I miss him. I felt close to him. I had begged him to get help. When he died, I finally met his best friend, who called to notify me. His friend and I are now close. Similar guy. Slowly, he's turned his life around. No more living like a squatter in his own home. No more pity party. No more misanthropy. No more ignoring his health. He did miss out on getting the girl though. There was a lovely woman on the fringe who just couldn't wait for him to get his shit together, and (rightly) would not proceed until he did. He's like a big bro to me and I love him, but I've known him for over a decade and until last year he was gross.

Don't be like these guys. Don't waste time. Get help immediately.
 
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