An old chestnut that I dicked around with ... To the tune of O Christmas Tree or Oh Tannenbaum Mezzo forte Us members here, we’ve all got size! With mighty truncheons ‘tween our thighs Come test our length: and feel our girth! The biggest phal-lus-ses on Earth! Pianissimo Our Yule Logs are both long and thick; nobody’s got a pencil dick! Fortissimo Our Santa’s elves can suck themselves! And no: we ne-ver fan-tasize … Happy Holidays to all the great people on this site!