I'm BACK (and more confused than ever!)

Fantasy FeMailme

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Are you two a double act? Get real you are EXACTLY what you accuse me of being. There are no shrinking violets here - or lack of passion/opinion amongst any of us three. You don't like some of my comments. I dont like some of yours but the arrogance or whatever other word you so choose to use in 'describing' my motives for posting are also mirrored in your careful 'extractions' and the beautifully executed baptism of fire you 'appear' to be 'projecting' in my direction. Browbeating rarely works on me, nor does back quoting my words with your twisted intepretation of them. Argue the point not the person - always gets better response don't you think? I come over no more forthright in my opinions than you two do. I have a Holier than thou attitude? Don't make me laugh you could both make a career out of it coupled with your misdirected indignation for the disinterested Gar.

I enjoyed the banter and unexpected locking of horns this thread brought-you are both intelligent and moral individuals. Enjoy your time at LPSG. I know I'm going to.
 

B_Monster

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Im probaly not the person to ask but, consider what stress of a bad relationship can do on your emotional and physical health, good luck Garth
 

Freddie53

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You have not given ages. At certain points in life, the sex drive seems to dry up and then return. Menopause, health problems, emotional stress due to problems in family, death of a fmaily member. All kinds of things that are not permanent sometimes derail the sexual activities of a committed couple. Check to see if any of the above, and these are just examples, are true. If so that could give major insight into the situation.

Has your wife had a complete physical? Does she work one or two jobs, be the family maid, another full time job, and scout leader, youth leader, etc for children.

About the children, are there any? By instinct, a mother is going to take care of her young which I would assume in humans to be children about 10-12 and younger. That will take precedent over having sex with a mate.

When you receive pleasure from oral sex, is your first goal pleasuring her or yourself? If your wife gets the impression that the sole reason you are doing anything sexually is only for yourself, it will be a turn off for her. That impression doesn't have to be true. It may be as wrong as hell, but if there is that doubt....it can affect your relationship.

No one has mentioned it, but, masturbation has been a man's friend now as long as their have been men. If you are horny and don't want to involve someone other than your wife in a sexual affair, jack off. Masturbation never hurt anyone unless they were doing it too soon before trying to have sex with another person. (Most guys can only shoot their wad so many times and have a period of recovery that has to be kept in mind.) I would be discreet about masturbation, but if you get caught, just explain you were getting the edge of to make sure your eyes didn't wander in public.

While I do think your wife used poor judgment in the timing of telling you this piece of news, do consider that this trip to Las Vagas may have been only YOUR trip. She may have never been into the trip from the get go. Again, I am not taking the wife's side her. She may have been more interested in stirring a little romance that night, but she didn't. To say whose fault that was is beyond me with the knowledge I have.


Last suggestion is hard. Try to take care of her needs first. Make it all about her. In the perfect straight relationship, for the man it is all about
her and for the woman it is all about him. If both partners take that attitude then there will be some hot passion coming from somewhere.

BTW, you don't have to go all the way to Vagas. Sometimes a little cheap cabin or nice motel room in a different city is all that is needed. Thousands of dollars aren't always needed.


Good luck. At ten years this is not unusual at all. It usually happens after five years but before 15 years have gone by. The initial passion is gone, now a real marriage must be truly formed.
 

Garth33

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I also find it highly amusing that the only person who has not objected to any of the things I posted is the man himself... Other people having indignation on an individuals behalf, who doesn't seem to be as affected by my comments is oh so futile and leads to the sniping going on here while he's gone merrily on his way!!

How can you be sure my down to earth approach hasnt shocked him into action and he's smoothed it over with his wife? He seems a lot jollier - r Hey we can all speculate - or are you now gonna tell me Im not allowed the happy ending that I joped my postings would achieve?

I do appreciate all the opinions and they've given me a lot of things to think about - the insight from everyone has been great.
I haven't addressed you directly FF because - no offense - you sound exactly like her. Every time we've fought I've thought "what can I do to fix this?" and had to come crawling back...at this point and after the Vegas trip...I'm just done with that! I realized at what point does she come to me and apoligize? The answer, apparently, is never and I can deal with that too in my own time. (WOW! I think my balls just descended!:eek:)
 

Garth33

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You have not given ages. At certain points in life, the sex drive seems to dry up and then return. Menopause, health problems, emotional stress due to problems in family, death of a fmaily member. All kinds of things that are not permanent sometimes derail the sexual activities of a committed couple. Check to see if any of the above, and these are just examples, are true. If so that could give major insight into the situation.

Has your wife had a complete physical? Does she work one or two jobs, be the family maid, another full time job, and scout leader, youth leader, etc for children.

About the children, are there any? By instinct, a mother is going to take care of her young which I would assume in humans to be children about 10-12 and younger. That will take precedent over having sex with a mate.

When you receive pleasure from oral sex, is your first goal pleasuring her or yourself? If your wife gets the impression that the sole reason you are doing anything sexually is only for yourself, it will be a turn off for her. That impression doesn't have to be true. It may be as wrong as hell, but if there is that doubt....it can affect your relationship.

No one has mentioned it, but, masturbation has been a man's friend now as long as their have been men. If you are horny and don't want to involve someone other than your wife in a sexual affair, jack off. Masturbation never hurt anyone unless they were doing it too soon before trying to have sex with another person. (Most guys can only shoot their wad so many times and have a period of recovery that has to be kept in mind.) I would be discreet about masturbation, but if you get caught, just explain you were getting the edge of to make sure your eyes didn't wander in public.

While I do think your wife used poor judgment in the timing of telling you this piece of news, do consider that this trip to Las Vagas may have been only YOUR trip. She may have never been into the trip from the get go. Again, I am not taking the wife's side her. She may have been more interested in stirring a little romance that night, but she didn't. To say whose fault that was is beyond me with the knowledge I have.


Last suggestion is hard. Try to take care of her needs first. Make it all about her. In the perfect straight relationship, for the man it is all about
her and for the woman it is all about him. If both partners take that attitude then there will be some hot passion coming from somewhere.

BTW, you don't have to go all the way to Vagas. Sometimes a little cheap cabin or nice motel room in a different city is all that is needed. Thousands of dollars aren't always needed.


Good luck. At ten years this is not unusual at all. It usually happens after five years but before 15 years have gone by. The initial passion is gone, now a real marriage must be truly formed.

Thanks Freddie - I appreciate it! Without masturbation - I would have exploded LONG AGO...:wink: