I'm bad at hook-ups.

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by Calcium, Oct 12, 2008.

  1. Calcium

    Calcium New Member

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    A meandering introduction: I consider myself and in practice have shown myself to be a more introverted fellow, the result of which is that I seem to develop my ideas of the world in a vacuum. I must be easy to get along with, because when I go out with friends I meet people and they seem to not be offended by my presence, but I usually just go home and that's that.

    Recently, though, I experienced a spate of hook-ups with girls, something far outside my character. And yet, with each one of these girls, I did not have sex with them. I have been, for a while, vocally against one-night stands (but these things often turn out this way because, after the fact, I discover that whoever was lying next to me post-coitus was not actually the person I thought they were, honesty appearing in beds like religion in foxholes). So I'm wondering, in my, err, actively avoiding sex while being in what is clearly a sexual situation a function of my wishing to not experience that post-sex let down, or is it a matter of some invented respect towards whomever I happen to be with(ha ha, probably not, I'm a male american college student) or do I even LOOK for that lack of sex and enjoy the other aspects of the hook-up? I feel like I'm missing out on something that a lot of college students "get" and I don't know if I'm better or worse for it. Is my situation more common than I think and have I been taken in by the braggadicio of my compatriots, or is this something to worry about?

    Hrrm, that was long and not particularly interesting, and I come off as someone who keeps his self-esteem in a tic-tac container. Take from it what you will, I'm just looking for the experience of others to see where I lie.
     
  2. exwhyzee

    Gold Member

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    I never hooked up through college. I sorta wanted to...but for whatever reason, it never happened.

    Now, I don't enjoy no-strings hook ups. They seem pretty empty to me, and its easier and safer to just get myself off without involving another person.

    Maybe you just need a little more connection before you get physical...not necessarily a bad thing.
     
  3. quintessence

    quintessence Member

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    Sex is what you make it.

    If you want to attach emotional baggage to it, then by all means do so.

    If you just want a quick release, then by all means do so.

    But, don't ever feel like your "missing out" on something because it's only what you make it. :wink:

    Q.
     
  4. D_Selmus_Swallow

    D_Selmus_Swallow Account Disabled

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    Very sound advice.
     
  5. SpeedoGuy

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    Not getting as much sex from hookups as you thought? You're not alone.

    My experience in high school and college was that the notion that students were frequently "getting some" from one-nighters was actually mostly a contrived myth. Boasting. Wishful thinking. Fantasy. Exaggeration.

    One-nighter hookups did happen, of course, even to me. But my observation was they didn't happen at nearly the frequency one might be led to believe.

    Just my observations.
     
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