I'm befuddled...

AlteredEgo

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If you feel I'm making a big deal out of nothing, please feel free to say so...

I met a (gorgeous) Pakistani woman the other day at Starbucks. It was obvious that we were both attracted to each other as we caught each other gawking twice. I strike up a conversation and wind up with her number. I called her two days later and she says she'd call me right back. Obviously she didn't call back or else I wouldn't be making this thread. I called once more today and no answer. Which is fine. But am I the only one who finds it inexplicably rude to say I'll call you back- in two minutes no less- and never call, nor return a missed call? It's always females who pull this kind of shit. If you're going to say that's part of how it works or whatever, save it. This woman is six years my senior, and if grown woman have the same tendencies as women in the early 20's I might just kill myself.
It is not always women who pull this shit. Maybe she changed her mind, and couldn't handle the potential confrontation of simply telling you so. Is it weasely? Yes. Is it a big deal? Not really. You're not socially retarded, so you've caught on that she's not interested. Don't take it personally; don't internalize it. Just move on to the next.
 

AlteredEgo

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ok as the only girl replying listen...she either has a boyfriend or kids....thats the only thing that would keep her from calling if she willingly gave u the number.
I once gave a dude named Cecil my number. I found him attractive enough. I didn't know anything about his personality other than he had way more cajones than I did at the time; I never would have approached him, and if I had, it certainly would not have been on a crowded bus. I was deeply flattered that he'd gone to a lot of trouble to get next to me. But for me, at the time, it was too intense. He'd been staring at me for who knows how long. I finally responded to the feeling of being watched and we made eye-contact for a few seconds. I was in the middle of the bus; he was all the way in the back. He pressed past scores of people, against the flow of boarding passengers to get to me. At the time, I was incredibly unused to any attention from guys my own age at all. I had only ever been approached by predatory older men. I remember I kept getting lost in my own fevered thoughts, but somehow, through the fog, I heard him ask for my name and later for my number. I gave him both. Then I immediately panicked, and exited the bus several stops early. He called a bunch of times, and I eventually made up a lame story and asked him not to call back.

I had no boyfriend, and no children. I was just very limited in my experience, and frightened off by his confidence. Honestly, things like that happened with me all the time after that incident, until I realized I was the kind of woman who needed to be the aggressor. I do not respond well to dudes who pick me up. It freaks me the fuck out, even if I like them. And yes, once I became the pursuer in my interactions, I was on the receiving end of this behavior on occasion.
 

B_subgirrl

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She may not have felt comfortable giving you her number, but felt pressured to do so. I've given a fake number to guys who wouldn't take no for an answer, just to make them piss off and leave me alone.
 

B_prettyswinggirl

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If the bold is true, then I'd be saddened by it. I don't want to make a huge judgement based on one encounter, but she seemed relatively secular. She's been living in NYC since she was 8. She went to school, was dressed professionally, etc. However I guess all of the above could be true with her still following her personal religion. I'm trying to say that I just didn't get that kind of 'vibe'.

The bold is true. My cousin is an international aid worker who lived in Pakistan 18 months. Though it's a good sign that she was wearing normal clothes. I'm actually relieved to hear that even though I know it sucks for you. Sorry Q!
 

qwerty1234567

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She may not have felt comfortable giving you her number, but felt pressured to do so. I've given a fake number to guys who wouldn't take no for an answer, just to make them piss off and leave me alone.

I don't think so. After I broke the ice it was as if she had a set of questions in her head as she continually spit one after the other out.
 

qwerty1234567

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I once gave a dude named Cecil my number. I found him attractive enough. I didn't know anything about his personality other than he had way more cajones than I did at the time; I never would have approached him, and if I had, it certainly would not have been on a crowded bus. I was deeply flattered that he'd gone to a lot of trouble to get next to me. But for me, at the time, it was too intense. He'd been staring at me for who knows how long. I finally responded to the feeling of being watched and we made eye-contact for a few seconds. I was in the middle of the bus; he was all the way in the back. He pressed past scores of people, against the flow of boarding passengers to get to me. At the time, I was incredibly unused to any attention from guys my own age at all. I had only ever been approached by predatory older men. I remember I kept getting lost in my own fevered thoughts, but somehow, through the fog, I heard him ask for my name and later for my number. I gave him both. Then I immediately panicked, and exited the bus several stops early. He called a bunch of times, and I eventually made up a lame story and asked him not to call back.

I had no boyfriend, and no children. I was just very limited in my experience, and frightened off by his confidence. Honestly, things like that happened with me all the time after that incident, until I realized I was the kind of woman who needed to be the aggressor. I do not respond well to dudes who pick me up. It freaks me the fuck out, even if I like them. And yes, once I became the pursuer in my interactions, I was on the receiving end of this behavior on occasion.

I rather that than absolutely nothing.
 

qwerty1234567

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It is not always women who pull this shit. Maybe she changed her mind, and couldn't handle the potential confrontation of simply telling you so. Is it weasely? Yes. Is it a big deal? Not really. You're not socially retarded, so you've caught on that she's not interested. Don't take it personally; don't internalize it. Just move on to the next.

I wouldn't be so sure of that.:tongue: