- Joined
- Aug 14, 2007
- Posts
- 236
- Media
- 38
- Likes
- 5,542
- Points
- 423
- Location
- Milwaukee, Wisconsin
- Sexuality
- 50% Straight, 50% Gay
- Gender
- Male
I've been sexually active for quite some time, and I have dated a bit, but I'm not the type of person that falls in love easily. I've never been in love. I dated people because they were into me, and I thought I'd try it out, only there really was never any true investment. As much as I cared for the women I've dated, I valued my independence more.
Recently though, I think I fell for someone for the first time! It's freaking me out! I've never had such a strong attraction and connection and desire to be with someone. I truly get butterflies, and I'm sad when I'm not with this man. And yes, this is a guy! I never thought I'd be so ready to date a man, I never have before. I don't know how the dynamic would work. What roles would we fill? This guy has the alpha male presence, so would I ever be able to feel truly masculine enough in the relationship? Moreover, this guy lives across the country, and although he's successful enough that we can travel to each other periodically, I don't know how to manage a long distance relationship! I don't know how to manage a relationship period! I've decided long ago that I don't like them, but this guy is somehow starting to change my mind. I don't know what to do!
I am still not completely out as a bisexual either, especially to my family. My Dad came out several years ago, and it just makes things harder on me! I don't want to be further compared to him, or give my mom more of a heart attack. My Dad's confession, just left my Mom a little bitter. I know my Dad thinks I'm gay and/or wants me to be gay, I can tell! But the truth is, I'll still always have my attraction to women.
This guy, though, wow, I don't know how he does this to me. I'm just lost, I guess. My thoughts and my fears just keep fighting with my emotions. Any advice? Thoughts? Experiences of your own?
Recently though, I think I fell for someone for the first time! It's freaking me out! I've never had such a strong attraction and connection and desire to be with someone. I truly get butterflies, and I'm sad when I'm not with this man. And yes, this is a guy! I never thought I'd be so ready to date a man, I never have before. I don't know how the dynamic would work. What roles would we fill? This guy has the alpha male presence, so would I ever be able to feel truly masculine enough in the relationship? Moreover, this guy lives across the country, and although he's successful enough that we can travel to each other periodically, I don't know how to manage a long distance relationship! I don't know how to manage a relationship period! I've decided long ago that I don't like them, but this guy is somehow starting to change my mind. I don't know what to do!
I am still not completely out as a bisexual either, especially to my family. My Dad came out several years ago, and it just makes things harder on me! I don't want to be further compared to him, or give my mom more of a heart attack. My Dad's confession, just left my Mom a little bitter. I know my Dad thinks I'm gay and/or wants me to be gay, I can tell! But the truth is, I'll still always have my attraction to women.
This guy, though, wow, I don't know how he does this to me. I'm just lost, I guess. My thoughts and my fears just keep fighting with my emotions. Any advice? Thoughts? Experiences of your own?