Im developing animosity towards my GF

[uboat]

Why does my girlfriend feel the need to be so touchy and feely with other men??? I don't understand it. It is SUPER frustrating and annoying to me(im soooo fucking angry right now). I down right hate it. I have asked her several times not to do this and she still does it and says "its part of my personality" or "its who i am". I call bullshit on that! We can all be friendly, but I believe a line is crossed when males and females start touching each other. My girlfriend is young (21) im 26 but i know how to treat my significant other in a relationship. And constantly touching others and putting other men above me is not it. I have expressed this to her several times but she keeps doing it. I know that she is not cheating or has any ill intent towards me b/c she doesn't hide or even try to hide it from me but dammit, wtf... STOP IT for FUCKS SAKE!!!

/rant

 

[AlteredEgo]

If you don't like her personality, get a new girl. If she's crossing one of your boundaries and is unwilling to stop, get a new girl. If the problem is that you believe all touching is flirtatious, and she doesn't, get a new girl. If the problem is that you're a crybaby, get over it, or get a new girl.

 

[B_subgirrl]

If you don't like her personality, get a new girl. If she's crossing one of your boundaries and is unwilling to stop, get a new girl. If the problem is that you believe all touching is flirtatious, and she doesn't, get a new girl. If the problem is that you're a crybaby, get over it, or get a new girl.

Seconded!

 

[ConstantComment]

Tell us more. Has her behavior resulted in men trying to hit on her? asking for her phone number to get a date? men behaving aggressively towards you because they didn't realise that she was taken? or just men thinking that they have a closer relationship with her than what you have with her?

Did you notice any indcations of this behavior before you started dating?

 

[TomCat84]

I agree with the above comments. If you've already asked her to stop her behavior, and she hasn't- well, get a new girl.

 

[uboat]

Tell us more. Has her behavior resulted in men trying to hit on her? asking for her phone number to get a date? men behaving aggressively towards you because they didn't realise that she was taken? or just men thinking that they have a closer relationship with her than what you have with her?

Did you notice any indcations of this behavior before you started dating?

Yes. Her behavior has resulted in men trying to hit on her. It opens me up to danger anytime it happens and i don't think its fair for me to have to fend of x amount of guys b/c of her dumb behavior. When she does it, she thinks its innocent touching and nothing else. But I as well as other men, do not see it this way. When girls start touching me, its a clear sign that they are interested and that i can probably fuck them. This girl is young and dosent seem to be living in the world of men. But what makes it so bad is that she is super stubborn and borderline arrogant. Its like b/c she knows shes not cheating or doing anything wrong, she thinks she has a green light to do anything and everything up to cheating. Its fucking ridiculous. I don't know if this makes a difference, but she is latin. and she also always says, "its part of my culture..bla bla bla. Ive met her sister and she doesn't act like that(but her mom acts like that). Matter of fact, ive met plenty latin women who act nothing like her.

When we were dating, she was not like this. She was way more reserved. She was always friendly, but it never seemed this bad.

For all those saying "get a new girl".... This is my GFs last chance. I have warned her once too many. If it happens again. Im out of the relationship. I can't deal with it.

 

[big_tits4big_dicks]

For her sake get out now. You are giving her chances to change herself. She does not need to change herself, there is nothing wrong, you just don't like her personality. And that is ok! She is who she is, and if you don't like that there is no reason to stay. To do so will make it harder for the both of you.

 

[cece]

She's obviously enjoying the attention from other guys and making that a priority over your feelings - it's pretty clear she doesn't give a damn about you. That's a good enough reason for you to leave her and get a newer, better improved version!

 

[yodiggity]

act the same towards women and see how she responds

 

[HiddenLacey]

Are these strange guys she's acting this way towards? I hug guys I know all the time. If I see someone from highschool we're going to hug each other and talk to each other or if I see a guy friend I'm probably going to hug him as well. No big deal IMO.

Completely strange random guys I'm stand-offish for the most part until I've been around them awhile. But everyone's different.

You shouldn't try to change your girlfriend. Either you want her the way she is or you should move on. Talking to her about how it makes you feel may influence her to try and cool it with the touchy feely stuff, but if it's part of who she is I wouldn't think she would change overnight and she may not want to. She's with you because you're who she wants to be with, not these other guys. Maybe she's an open loving person.

 

[ConstantComment]

act the same towards women and see how she responds

I agree with this. Either she will understand how it feels and change or she will up the ante and then you will know it's time to move on.

Some people will say this course of action is spiteful. But if we start from the point of view that she may not understand how it looks and how it can make you feel and the only way that you can convey how it feels is by putting her in the same situation, then it is a fair experiment.

 

[LPSGeezer]

For the sake of argument: this is like a loaded gun waiting to go off because on the one hand you come across as a control freak who wants the woman to be subservient to your feelings and forget about her own. You're in a battle of wills or growing pains as some say and unless you two can come to an agreement it is going to be over and end in a bitter way.

On the other hand my first wife was an attention getter, she had to have male attention to validate that she was attractive and fuckable every single time that we went out. It became old and stale very quickly and like you say it placed me in harms way on many occasions. Eventually we ended up hating one another and both of us went out and found other people who are more compatible for us. If the latter is your scenario then leave as soon as possible or you will end up with nothing left but anger, bitterness and resentment that could consume you if you let it go on and on, and you already sound like the crazy is getting to you. Explaining how it affects you and her ability to understand that will go a long way, if she argues against it then she's not going to alter one single thing about her actions, in that case you are just simply incompatible and it's time to move on to greener pastures and let her live and learn on her own.

 

[Bbucko]

For all those saying "get a new girl".... This is my GFs last chance. I have warned her once too many. If it happens again. Im out of the relationship. I can't deal with it.

I've got news for you: the relationship ended a while ago, inertia and avoidance have kept it together. This has nothing to do with her behavior. I'm basing my opinion entirely on what you've said and the way you've said it.

Altered Ego got it right the first time. Don't go down the drama trail with attempts to "show her" anything: be a man and end things with dignity.

 

[D_N Flay Table]

Sigh... Another insecure person whining about their gf.
Great...
Next thing you know, he will be whining that the last/next guy she was with had a bigger wiener.

Dude.
So over it. :-/

 

[badgirl22]

obviously she gets off on the attention and may even get off on the fact that you act jealous. I wonder if you showed no reaction at all if she'd get bored with the whole other guy thing and concentrate on you. Some people just like to live to cause drama - she may be one of them - or just really insecure.

But, if you don't like it - move on. She's too young. She still has a lot to learn. Why we stay with people who clearly aren't making us happy is beyond me (and believe me, I'm guilty of it too). We'd all be so much better off if we walked away from the ones who don't meet our needs without our having to change them. Nothing to take personal - just not the right person. Way easier said than done though I realize.

You should be with someone who makes you happy not crazy.

 

[uboat]

You guys wanna know why i fuck with LPSG??? B/c you guys keep it real! Love it!

 

[unabear09]

Are these strange guys she's acting this way towards? I hug guys I know all the time. If I see someone from highschool we're going to hug each other and talk to each other or if I see a guy friend I'm probably going to hug him as well. No big deal IMO.

Completely strange random guys I'm stand-offish for the most part until I've been around them awhile. But everyone's different.

You shouldn't try to change your girlfriend. Either you want her the way she is or you should move on. Talking to her about how it makes you feel may influence her to try and cool it with the touchy feely stuff, but if it's part of who she is I wouldn't think she would change overnight and she may not want to. She's with you because you're who she wants to be with, not these other guys. Maybe she's an open loving person.

YES! My friends (females) and I have an agreement. Doesn't matter who the guy is, he has to get over my friends hugging me and touching me. It has been established that we are just friends...nothing more. We love each other, and if the mood hits, we're going to hug each other (and sometimes we'll kiss on the cheek).

What you are doing is posturing and you're going to end up pissing the other guys off, or you are going to piss her off (either way you loose, even if you win), ending the relationship.

As to your 'relationship'... Nut up and dump the bitch if she's that immature or tell her exactly why you want her to stop (convey that you are 100% serious with her). Either way you win.

 

[D_Delbert Dingleberry]

Why does my girlfriend feel the need to be so touchy and feely with other men??? I don't understand it. It is SUPER frustrating and annoying to me(im soooo fucking angry right now). I down right hate it. I have asked her several times not to do this and she still does it and says "its part of my personality" or "its who i am". I call bullshit on that! We can all be friendly, but I believe a line is crossed when males and females start touching each other. My girlfriend is young (21) im 26 but i know how to treat my significant other in a relationship. And constantly touching others and putting other men above me is not it. I have expressed this to her several times but she keeps doing it. I know that she is not cheating or has any ill intent towards me b/c she doesn't hide or even try to hide it from me but dammit, wtf... STOP IT for FUCKS SAKE!!!

/rant

A relationship is a balance between being I/You and being we. It's disrespectful to you. The fact that you are posting this suggests that there is a significant leakage of trust and respect out of the relationship. My advice is to ignore the specific behavior -- her having intimacy (by way of touching) with other men. Pull back and ask the larger question: Is she willing to adjust her behaviors to make for a better WE?

As a boyfriend, if you make a reasonable request about something in the relationship that is important to you, is she responding in a way that demonstrates commitment and respect?

My HONEST opinion: You're not so much as a person she's in love with, but an acquaintance with no standing that is deserving of accommodation. As human beings, we don't love men or women, we love individuals. YOU. Not some idealized notion of a man and what a man should consider reasonable behavior, YOU. You, with your unique likes and dislikes, talents, and gifts.

If she can not tune into the radio station that you're broadcasting -- and do it lovingly and with the enthusiasm and verve that a caring loving relationship requires, you're not a boyfriend, you're a fucking friend and not an essential one at that.

I pity you if you marry her.

In your current relationship state, that is.

I'm a guy who has lived a lot of relationship experiences. There are not a lot of women who get physical with men. Touching and feeling. That's not "usual" female behavior.

Listen.

You are not comfortable. Your request is reasonable.

Respect yourself. When you find the right woman, when it's truly right, it can be so good, and so uplifting. And if you can't respect yourself have her PM me.

 

[sexplease]

you do not own her, her emotions or anything about her. So grow up and stop ranting and acting the martyr. Who she IS, just isn't your cup of tea. Get another cup. but remember: the grass is NOT greener on the other side. The next one may only be touchy-feely with you but I can guarantee something she does will ruffle your feathers.

 

[lucidbass]

Is it just the occasional hug and or kiss on the cheek for goodbye? Then I don't even see the big deal.... I'm someone who hugs a lot of people myself, when I'm in and out of a relationship and occasionally come across like I'm hitting on girls even when I'm not. I once had a girl I'm involved with be in constant cuddling sessions in public with ex-boyfriends, like not just hugs, but straight up cuddling you would see lovers do. This was a girl who told me she was against showing affection in public. That kinda crossed the line.