I'm engaged and I want to have sex with other women

galaxus

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Thanks PB, Drifterwood, and zujmyhezk86 and everybody else.

I'm not gonna defend myself anymore. I'm just looking for advice. (I know i'm looking for advice on a Large Penis website, you don't have to point that out anymore)

I also asked her if having a threesome was ok. At first she said she was fine with it, but ultimately she wasn't. I tried to meet to women on craigslist about it, and when I finally meet real women (very few are real-_-) who are interested, my gf changes her mind and bails.

Its so irritating though. The first time we had sex was in a threesome with her best friend..... well I never actually had sex with her best friend..... I tried to! but it was just too painful for her. I barely got it in a lil bit, but I wouldn't call it sex..... Also they never touched each other..... her best friend did do other things to me though.... in the end it was just weird, fun and exhausting for all of us..... I was too nervous to cum too lol. (I made a thread about this a while back)

So yea I asked her if we could try the threesome thing with her best friend a again and she didn't want that either...
 

helgaleena

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She's not the best fit for you, galaxus, and you are still very young. Get loose from this engagement craziness. You can be more help to her as well as to her child as a very good friend.
 

MickeyLee

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you want to have sex with other women?!?!

you haven't told other guys about this, right? i mean if every guy started thinking about sex with other women.... well, that would just spoil it for everyone :wink:

for serious, what Mr. Drifterwood said, and what Ms. Helgaleena said. and a few other bits of advice that was totally on ball.

you don't need to defend yaself, you gotta be honest with yaself and what you need/want out of life and a relationship. you can love her to death and back again, and still not be right for each other at this moment.

you keep making requests of her you know she won't agree to. you are frustrated and disappointed, she is frustrated and, i'm guessing, not up to your expectation. or just really annoyed.

since the issue is causing y'all so much angst.. maybe the issue isn't really sex... maybe you just know on some level that where you are in life isn't a time to make such a commitment.

sit down and talk it out.. if you are truly bothered maybe pop for a few sessions with a professional (shrink, not a hooker.. unless ya take the Amsterdam option) see if you can lay ya doubts and reservations to bed. ya might find out all this isn't about threesomes at all.

if you haven't paid for the rings yet, take the cash to Amsterdam and get freaky with clog wearing hookers. i heard something about what can be done with a handful of cash and hash brownie :rolleyes:
 

D_Kitten_Kaboodle

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We don't have a date and we don't plan on getting married soon. But we do know that we are the one for each other.

....

You say this or something similary many times throughout the thread. The only advice I have is this.

Take your time..... take a step backwards (de-engage yourself and tell you you want to 'get this out of your system' before you make that commitment)... experience whatever you need to to make sure she is the one for you.

If your above quote is true.... you will find each other again. Your love for her will be stronger, and she will respect that you didnt' "cheat" on her (because you were honest and you were not engaged at the time).

If either of you feel differently after your experiences, then chalk it up to "it wasn't meant to be" You can't change that.

She knows your desires and if you never fulfill them before marriage, she will always wonder if you are messing around and just not telling her.

ouch! did I step on some toes?? Hope not...but sometimes the truth is painful.
 

maxcok

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There's nothing inherently wrong with open relationships, provided both partners are equally comfortable with it. She clearly is not, and it's self-centered of you to try to change that. As wrat pointed out, she may be "the one" for you, but it doesn't sound like you're "the one" for her. Go out and sow your wild oats if that's what you feel compelled to do, but cut her completely loose while you do it. Maybe you'll get it out of your system and come to appreciate her more, maybe not. If you're ready to commit after that, and whether she still wants you or not, that's just a chance you'll have to take.

I have a feeling this will always be a part of your makeup, not that that's unusual. Whether you act on it is a function of maturity and moral committment. Many men get cold feet at the notion of committing to one woman the closer they get to marriage. Whether or not you have the maturity to choose a lifetime of monogamy with this woman is not in doubt at this juncture, and to proceed as though you do, I think is a recipe for disaster.

The adage "having your cake and eating it too" springs to mind.
 

D_Mona Samore

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**** I was dating a girl I really liked and I just wanted sex from other women (nothing more). ****

The problem here of course is that it is difficult to get sex from someone and nothing more. There are always strings attached to this activity. That's why it's difficult to carry on affairs.

Absolutely! NSA is a myth.
 

JPoster

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Sounds like her abuse issues have turned her off to men/sex--she does it because you like it, not because she does, and she views you are her hero, come to save her and her daughter.

You feel smothered and somewhat trapped, and guilty for feeling that way.

You really don't want to live a double life. Sounds like you need to remain friends and help her, but call off the engagement for now. Few people at 22 are ready to settle down, or even know what they want long-term. Believing they do and having it turn out that way are two different things. Add to that her issues and this has the makings of a big mistake.

The screwing other women or threesomes or whatever sex-wise is really not the heart of the issue. Her abusive past and needs right now do not fit your desire to play the field.

Two cents.
 

weenur

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Please try and take PB's post in..very beautiful, thoughtful and wise response to what you are dealing with...

Loved it!

I agree. PB is balls on correct, as are a few others. All anyone can do in this thread is offer his or her opinion on the matter. Man-up and make a decision.
 

Sharpone

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I'm really surprised at all of the judgmental responses to this post. I guess infidelity strikes a nerve with some of us. Galaxus, I have much respect for you for dealing with this open and honestly, where most men your age would ignore it and may run into problems later on. Shows that even though you are only 22, you are mature beyond your years. I do hope this does resolve itself for you because I have a feeling you are going to be a great husband and dad.
 
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i kwon some people on this are been quite non judgemental but i find this shocking. You claim to love this girl and her kid but disrespect her by wanting to sleep around. i bet your living with her 2. you just want your cake and to eat it 2. how would u feel if she came up to you and said i love u but i want more sexual partners, you just aint enough for me, and the fact that she is letting you have this silly sexual finding experience shows how much she loves you. this begs the question why does she not just get rid of you and find someone more mature. furthermore you had these feelings and still asked her to marry you!! you are just an immature child grow up! how much is this effecting her self-esteem? have you even thought about that or are you just self centered? and dont get me started on the poor kid in this!

In short grow up little boy.

P.S. The best sex is with a person you truely love.
 

ConstantComment

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That it is a myth is a myth. I had many no-strings sexual relationships before I dated my husband. The fact that you and ConstantComment haven't figured out how to get one doesn't mean it doesn't happen for other people.

It may be possible but you have to look carefully. Not every fuckable person is willing to be discreet.
 

B_jeepguy2

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Dude, get unengaged quick! You are only 22 and just because you think this woman is right for you at 22 doesn't mean that she is going to be right for you at 32, 42, 52, or 62. The fact that you are not even married yet and you are already wanting to have sex with other people is not a good sign! Do yourself (and her) favor and break it off NOW!
 

brodomino

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Definitely not something you can ignore. Yeah she may have been abused in the past but I don't honestly think that she doesn't want to share her lover because of that. Counseling would probably help in a huge way. This sounds like an issue you are trying to work through. Maybe you are just not ready and this is how its manifesting. Who knows. In your shoes, I would without a doubt seek the help of a counselor and find out what the cause is of these desires. From that vantage point you could better make an educated decision about the paths your relationship can really take. Until you have some kind of answers youre not going to know what to do and pushing her to do something she don't want to is going to lead her to become resentful eventually. If she already doesn't feel like she's not good enough for you, she will and a relationship isn't going to work at that point.
 

D_Anus_MacHemorrhoid

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Dude, I've been married for a while and have wanted to have sex with other woman all along.....that's what men do. I haven't, but wanting to is the norm. I assure you, married and engage woman want to have sex with other men as well....trust me. The reality is, when you love someone, you refrain from doing it...doesn't mean you don't want to. 1 of 3 things stem from every marriage.....restraint, sharing...or divorce. We each decide which 1....but there is always 1.

BTW- I love being married....congrats.
 

shymichael

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sorry mate but that means in your heart you are already not valuing her. If you valued her, you would protect that value and love by not letting your heart go to other places. Thats the beauty of marriage, to value and love and protect the love of the one you are with.