I'm exasperated

[Matthew]

Well, if my grandmother wrote me a letter like that, I'd probably write back something that boiled down to "Thanks for your letter, I'm doing great. Thanks for caring about me and I'll see you soon! Love, Matthew" and then continue to do my thing.

 

[B_Spladle]

I think he is upset that grandma wants him to be a lawyer, or he is confused.

I am not upset that my grandmother wants me to be a lawyer. She's welcome to want whatever she likes. I am upset by her tone and general disregard for my feelings.

Either way, Chase, do you want to be a lawyer? :biggrin1:

No. I don't.

 

[B_Spladle]

I think it's the other way around -- she's criticizing him.

Correct.

So . . . by Deep Springs, are you talking about the two-year school in California? And if so, have you made a commitment to attend Deep Springs, or do you have other options on the table?

Yes, that's the one. I have made no commitment to Deep Springs, nor have I ever even considered going there. Muvie is actually the one who mentioned it to me as something she thought I would like. I checked out their website for a couple minutes and decided it wasn't for me.

 

[B_Spladle]

His grandma sent him a letter telling him her tiredness of laywers, and said he should gett of his hieney and go to school, then to law school.

Bingo.

I think you should go for it! Make tons of money, have a huge house, live large...

*sigh*

I'm seriously considering it.

 

[B_Spladle]

Oh, O.k. thanks for clarifying. It's really not correct to demand a lifelong carrer choice be made by someone, even if considering it.I'd be a street musician just to piss her off. All jokes aside I have to ask, if she feels that she needs "A
LAWYER IN THE FAMILY", why you, and not someone else?

It would be easier for me to get a law degree than it would be for just about anyone else.

 

[vinny_spiruccino]

It would be easier for me to get a law degree than it would be for just about anyone else.

I seem to remember, young Grasshoppa, that we were once to have a career in porn together. Muvie would be so tickled, but I suppose it's now outside of your options.

**runs off weeping**

 

[jeff black]

It would be easier for me to get a law degree than it would be for just about anyone else.

It just sounds like a waste. If you don't want to do it, you would hate it. And If you are smart enough to be a lawyer, why not try to be a doctor? Or some other highpowered business man?:biggrin1:

 

[B_Spladle]

So she's basically saying you're a loser if you choose what you want to do over something to benefit her and the rest of the family. And that your very existence isn't justified if you don't?? I can see why you're exasperated.

Well actually, "I'm exasperated" was the subject line of her e-mail. But other than that, well, yeah. That's what she's saying.

Tell her you're trying to find something YOU want to do with your life and she should be helping you make that choice not trying to make it for you.

I have done.

Because if you get pushed into something you don't want it'll only make you bitter and unhappy and you'd end up failing at it from lack of motivation.

I know. That's why ditched college back in January. It wasn't making me happy. However, I'm beginning to realize that I feel the same way about poker, and perhaps that's just how I'm going to feel about any way that I decide to make my living (barring some unusual circumstances), so I am seriously considering taking Muvie up on her offer. That is to say, I'll get a law degree if she'll pay for my education and hook me up with some living money so I don't have to work or play poker. Basically make school my "job" so to speak. I think I could handle that. My life is just kicking so much ass right now in so many ways that it would definitely be worth taking a shit-ton of classes if that's what it took for me to be able to keep living this way.

 

[B_Spladle]

Freddie,

Wow in a good way.

 

[B_Spladle]

Dear Muvie,

Many lawyers are self-centred, obnoxious wankers who prioritize the letter of the law and their own ability to play semantic games, rather than following what is in their hearts or what corresponds to their sense of right and wrong.

I would prefer to be a nice person.

Love,
Chase.

:biggrin1:

But seriously, becoming a lawyer would not change who I am as a person one whit.

 

[B_Spladle]

Chase, I think you should take a job as my house boi. :wink:

Oh? Is the position available?

 

[B_Spladle]

Spadle hasn't had a chance to respond yet, and I'm concerned that a few of the responses here are bitchy and snarky enough to cause friction within the family. Let's assume that his goal isn't to estrange himself from his relatives, okay?

*roflmao*

Oh man, if you only knew . . .

S'put it this way: There is friction within the family. I am estranged from my relatives.

. . . Oh, you want details?

The last words I said to my mother were "Fuck you."

So, here's my question: Why Deep Springs? What are your reasons for going there? Have you thought through the pros and cons of a non-traditional school? What are your goals for when you get out, and how will Deep Springs help you achieve them?

Sorry it took me so long to get around to doing upkeep on this thread, but I was out of town over the weekend, and I've been doing yoga at 6:00 in the mornings, and I've actually slept the last several nights, and I've been running bad at poker so I'm having to play a fucking ton in order to make rent and pay my bills which are due on the first. So I've had less free time than usual.

Bottom line is, Deep Springs is not for me, and I'm sorry I didn't clarify this earlier.

 

[B_Spladle]

The valedictorian of my H.S. class paid me to take his ACT for him. He wanted me to take his SAT too but I'd broken to school SAT score record (still well below a 1600 but what can you expect in the 49th ranked state?) and I was afraid I'd do better and everybody would think he'd broken my record. Damn that.

Hehehe. One of my wrestling buddies paid me $300 to re-take his SAT for him after he failed to make the minimum score he needed to receive an athletic scholarship to the college he wanted to attend. You don't have to do your very best, you know. I think I wound up getting him something like a 1200.

 

[B_Spladle]

I seem to remember, young Grasshoppa, that we were once to have a career in porn together. Muvie would be so tickled, but I suppose it's now outside of your options.

**runs off weeping**

:sorry:

 

[B_Spladle]

It just sounds like a waste. If you don't want to do it, you would hate it. And If you are smart enough to be a lawyer, why not try to be a doctor? Or some other highpowered business man?:biggrin1:

It's not that I actively want to not be a lawyer, though. I just have no desire to be one. Does that make sense? As for those other professions, well, I could easily be one of those, as well, but I have the same feeling of apathy towards them as I do towards lawyering.

I do like my grandmother. She's nice. It'd make her very happy if I did this.

 

[AlteredEgo]

So di it. See if you like it. You can always change your mind later. My cousin graduated suma cum laud from Penn State's law program. This of course meant the world was her oyster. She was a very promising attorney. She immediately passed the bar in NJ, PA, NY, CT. She joined a firm in Philly, lived in a sweet condo in Jersey, ans drove an adorable, sporty little car the firm gave her. She hated her life though. Hated it. We watched her grow less and less satisfied with he work. She was a civil litigator. She made the cover of some trade 'zine in PA. The Shingle. I still have a copy. We all nealy burst from pride. She remained miserable. She took a vacation to Europe with her sister. Well, it was to be a three week vacation. A week in Paris with her sister, and then two weeks on her own all over Europe. At the end of the first week, instead of checkinng out of her hotel, she asked to use the business facilities. She faxed her two weeks notice, and didn't come home until Thanksgiving. It was spring. She stayed home for the holidays, and the Tuesday after New Year's, she moved to Paris, having sold her condo and shipped her posessions. She went to school in France, camer back home to go to school in DC, and moved to Brussels. She's in finance now, and is much happier. She's since moved to France near the German border and woks in Germany. She hates Germany. I don't know why. It looks pretty in pictures to me. I think it's because her French is so much better than he Geman. Anyway, she refuses to live in Germany. She loves her life. Every once in a while she stops here in NY to visit with us before going to her real home, Barbados. She's a different person. She's the way I remember her when I was a little girl. Happy.

I tell you this story because you had a woman who wasn't sure what she wanted. So, she picked a direction and ran with it. She gave it her very best, scoring merit scholarships and atttending an Ivy League school where she made highest honors. She was vey talented in her chosen field. Some people would have been too afraid to change careers the way she did. But I want you to know it's never too late. Never. So, if you don't see anything wrong with what your Muvie offered you, take her up on it. Do your very best, Chase. Take no prisoners. If you find that you shift from apathy to dislike after you've seen it to its conclusion, don't be afraid to change something, and don't apologize either.

I don't think she meant to hurt you when she said she wanted you to do something of value. I suspect she sees your apathy, and it terrifies her.

Best of luck. Oh. Does your Muvie want to pay my tuition as well? I make an excellent grandkid, and I'm going into business. :biggrin1:

 

[D_alex8]

It's not that I actively want to not be a lawyer, though. I just have no desire to be one. Does that make sense? As for those other professions, well, I could easily be one of those, as well, but I have the same feeling of apathy towards them as I do towards lawyering.

I do like my grandmother. She's nice. It'd make her very happy if I did this.

Part One: no desire...which leaves you with a big void deep inside, killing you slowly. As opposed to hating something, which is altogether a kinder form of death.

Part Two: you know what they say about doing stuff to please other people, Chase.

The Epilog: maybe the real outcome of this is that you need to keep hunting for what will make you happy and give you fulfilment. Just see your grandmother's letter as her way of hoping you find this satisfaction too - even if she didn't intend it quite that way.

 

[D_alex8]

I don't think she meant to hurt you when she said she wanted you to do something of value. I suspect she sees your apathy, and it terrifies her.

It's a great anecdote, and it illustrates what I've said to a lot of people over the years --- the qualifications and experiences you gain don't set anything in stone; just keep hunting until you find a place of happiness and comfort.

Hell, though, I'm 28 next month and still fairly apathetic and unsettled in many ways, so people should know better than to listen to any of my advice :wink: ... like you say, uncertainty and instability scare those who want security for us, though.... and that is the trickiest part of the conundrum to solve.

 

[GoneA]

um, i say do whatever makes you a lot of money

although, i think alex8 offered better advice when he said:

Part One: no desire...which leaves you with a big void deep inside, killing you slowly. As opposed to hating something, which is altogether a kinder form of death.

see, i would love to become a full-time writer and listen to weird music all day, but i would also like to keep my apartment and the few possessions i have left. writing stories and listening to mozart aint gonna make that happen.

 

[mindseye]

S'put it this way: There is friction within the family. I am estranged from my relatives.

Unsolicited advice: Find a way to end the friction; you don't have to be buddy-buddy with them, but (1) break the ice, (2) be big enough to apologize for saying "fuck you" to your own mom, (3) restore some civility between you and the folks. Making peace with your family is the one thing I butt in and tell people to do without being able to articulate a good and clear reason for doing so.

Bottom line is, Deep Springs is not for me, and I'm sorry I didn't clarify this earlier.

I'm glad to hear this. I admire what Deep Springs wants to accomplish, but have mixed feelings about whether it actually does so. Let us know what you decide to do instead.