I'm Gay

[ballsaplenty2156]

OH, and by the way.....there are much worse things in life to be called than gay. I'd rather be called gay or a queer than a liar or thief. If that's the worst someone ever calls you just look them in the eye and smile. You know what you are and are not, do you really care what some lame-o thinks?

 

[D_Martin van Burden]

It sucks because being called gay can really question or threaten your masculinity since, stereotypically, being gay and being masculine are mutually exclusive. Unless you happen to be homosexual and you embrace that as part of who you are, I don't think there's a good way to call anyone "gay." Make the gay equals happy remark all you want; it's still a very strong word of shame for some guys.

That said, you're dead on. It's easier to attack someone else than to be threatened by your own insecurity, and clearly the so-called friend is playing up on that. Why your other friends would join in on the fun is simply stupid. You know you're not gay. That's all that matters.

Is it worth it to try to talk to some of the other friends? Clearly, you may not be missing much with the fat guy, but if the other friends really hurt you and you think it's worth sharing that and maybe salvaging your friendship, I say go for it. On the other hand, if it isn't worth it, then maybe you're better off moving on. I imagine that you're a pretty nice guy who can make (nonjudgmental) friends easily, so you might just meet new people who are more fun to be around.

 

[Principessa]

Time for you to look forward to making new acquaintances and friends. The truly amazing thing is; those bottom feeders who didn't invite you to chill with them, will turn on each other eventually for some lame reason or another. They obviously don't know what being a friend is all about.

Be yourself and always be true to yourself. Don't go along with the crowd, just because you think there is safety in numbers. Be your own man.

I agree, though from experience I can tell you, that is sometimes easier said than done. :redface: Especially when one is as young as ScaredLittleBoy.

Apologize to the fat kid. Be bigger than he was. Sometimes taking the high road involves sacrifice and commitment, but the high road always has the best view!!

I disagree with this part. Do not apologize to the fat kid. He's fat. He however, should be apologizing to you as you are not gay.

Not sure about laws in the UK, but in the US his calling you gay repeatedly in a public place is considered to be slander. Not because there is anything wrong with being gay; but because it is a lie which could cause people to look upon you unfavorably. What if he had called you gay outside a pub and some other guys heard and decided to beat you up, because they didn't want no queers in their part of town. Sucks but it's been known to happen.

You absolutely need new friends.

 

[simcha]

Well apparently, I'm gay. Never mind that I've probably got a bigger cock than all my friends put together; I'm gay.

They've all gone to my best friend's house but I'm not invited cos I'm too gay...apparently.

I had this one fat guy who I've never liked call me gay cos I like Prince and I just said "Look, you fat bastard, I don't need to come out on a Friday night and call other people fat to feel better about myself. "

Well apparently...that was "too gay" and I've been excluded. My thinkig tonight is "fuck them." But admittedly it hurts...

Anyone been in a similar situation? I'm not gay btw.

If you keep sucking the fat guy's dick, what do you expect him to call you? :wink:

 

[2322]

You know SLB, I pay attention to what you write and I have to say, you're stuck in the most narrow-minded backwater of that island. I would love to see you get the hell out of there. Yeah, return to see your family and the few real friends you may have, but otherwise, get out of there. It's really holding you back. I know jumping up and leaving may be difficult for you, but I think it's a good goal to work for.

 

[naughty]

P,

This reminds me of a story a colleague was telling me the other day about his son on the playground. His son, who is big for his age, has a beautiful face. He is also quite creative, well spoken and very intelligent. He was being silly and moving his body in a way that for some insane reason incited some of the other children on the playground to begin calling him gay or Miss X. Even his next door neighbor who he plays with daily succumbed to the chant.
Well, his dad broke it up and went to talk to his neighbors about their children's actions. When he got him home then told his son that he needed to be careful of his gestures because he would then be ripe for ridicule.
WHen I heard this it broke my heart.
How horrible that a little boy who was enjoying playing on the playground will now be self conscious about whether he skips or moves his hands a certain way or whatever else someone deems inappropriate about his demeanor because of the fear of being labelled and ridiculed. What if he is gay? So?
If this is what those of you on the board had to and still have to go through on a daily basis as the consequence of being genuinely gay, I would like to render a sincere apology to all. It sickens me that anyone has to deal with this kind of daily editing of one's authentic self because of fear that someone else will ridicule them or do them bodily harm. Whether a child, teen or adult is gay or not or expresses himself or herself not with the norm should not be the issue. Their personhood should be.

 

[B_ScaredLittleBoy]

Thanks everyone. I have met a lot of friends from school recently so will start hanging out with them. They're a lot kinder and always happy to see me. Even guys I never spoke to at school have come up to me and chatted.

Also, for the record, I didn't flat out call him fat. I said "You need to come out on a Friday night and call people gay to feel better about yourself." And he said "Why do I need to do that?" with a grin on his face. Then I said "Because you're fat; look at you." And the grin fell from his face.

I agree, I need to get out of here :redface:

 

[headbang8]

SLB,

Don't hang around with friends who abuse you. It's as simple as that.

HB8

 

[Snozzle]

I just said "Look, you fat bastard, I don't need to come out on a Friday night and call other people fat to feel better about myself. "

Isn't that what you just did?

Since I'm gay (and there's nothing the matter with that) I'm wondering how it's an insult to call you gay. Or put it another way, have you got your head around the okayness of being gay enough yet, if you let it be an insult to you? What if you had replied, "Yes, and you're Lithuanian" (or something else he obviously isn't and there's nothing the matter with being)? I take the point that he meant it as an insult, and that needs to be addressed. So how about "You're homophobic"? He can hardly deny it. If he takes that as an "admission" that you're gay, he's just digging a deeper hole for himself.

But I agree with everyone who says you don't need people like this as friends.

 

[B_ScaredLittleBoy]

Well obviously there were a million different things I could have said but I said what I said. And I think what I said was fairly spot on.

The issue I suppose is the issue of slander.

 

[ZOS23xy]

Being clever and intelligent and sensitive are signals that rednecks and social retards use to point out that someone is "gay".

"You all too fuckin' smart, you must like guys."

Everyone deserves to seek out their own kind, like minded and socially adapt. I see people hanging out with one another out of loyalty, but the verbal games and tearing into one another --redneck socializing--are not useful.

You need other worlds to conquer.

 

[NCbear]

Being clever and intelligent and sensitive are signals that rednecks and social retards use to point out that someone is "gay".

"You all too fuckin' smart, you must like guys."

Everyone deserves to seek out their own kind, like minded and socially adapt. I see people hanging out with one another out of loyalty, but the verbal games and tearing into one another --redneck socializing--are not useful.

You need other worlds to conquer.

I agree with this and with an earlier poster's advice to leave the environment and find another one where there are more congenial people.

NCbear (who left his hometown for this same reason, and who's considering leaving the USA for a related reason)

 

[mindseye]

You said they thought you were gay because you liked Prince. Clarify: Are we talking Controversy and Sign 'O' The Times? Or are we talking Lovesexy and Rave Un2 The Joy Fantastic?

Ahem.

 

[SyddyKitty]

You need better friends. :/ Thick-headed, narrow-minded straight men are worthless.

 

[Rubenesque]

** comes and gives SLB a right good bitch slapping for the "fat" remarks **

Now, we all know that some of the best people in the entire world, nay, universe are fat!! lol

 

[Jasper72]

Ohhhh Labels are big right now. From college all the way down to jr. high you can hear the term "that's so gay" all the time. It is a way of demeaning each other and the younger generation is hard at it. I hear kids at the grocery store and the mall saying it all the time.

I think a lot of that is from South Park. thanks Matt & Trey!

NOT!


back to the OP,
my cousin was into Prince BIG TIME and a bit on the husky side. We used to tease him about Prince all the time, but I don't recall any gay jokes about it. Then again, this was during the Purple Phase, pre-Batman and unpronounceable symbol.

Meanwhile, I've been called everything under the sun, and then some. I ignore 99.99999% of it. Why stoop to heir level?

If anything, turn it back on your assailants:
"sorry, you're not my type,I prefer indoor plumbing!"
or
"Are you trying to pick me up? or do you just want to suck my cock?"
or something along those lines.

 

[Sonne86]

** comes and gives SLB a right good bitch slapping for the "fat" remarks **

Now, we all know that some of the best people in the entire world, nay, universe are fat!! lol

While you fail to make an argument that can be related to SLBs situation, I feel to remind you that overweight people should not be ideal by any means, as I hear Its quite unhealthy, unlike gayness, I believe. Also, are you suggessting that there are more "better people" who are fat, than there are slim and average sucessful guys?
I like your tits by the way.

 

[sdbg]

P,

If this is what those of you on the board had to and still have to go through on a daily basis as the consequence of being genuinely gay, I would like to render a sincere apology to all. It sickens me that anyone has to deal with this kind of daily editing of one's authentic self because of fear that someone else will ridicule them or do them bodily harm. Whether a child, teen or adult is gay or not or expresses himself or herself not with the norm should not be the issue. Their personhood should be.

It was comforting to read your post, naughty. I don't appear to be gay, and for that reason, I've been a third party to conversations where one person would say something really bad about someone being gay to another person, and I'd happen to hear it. This would usually happen at work when I worked as a waiter. There were times that a server would come into the kitchen and announce "I just got a couple flamers at table 2". If my coworkers knew at the time that I was gay, they would have censored themselves because I was well liked. Candor as such is why I was in the closet until I was in my 50s.

The bottom line: Can't we stop the hating eachother and worry about bigger problems like the energy crisis and the war in Iraq?

 

[Qua]

I would never question your orientation based on liking Prince...however I would question your music taste :tongue:

I've had the same issue, though in the more general way Naughty put it. By not conforming to faux stereotypical masculinity I must not be manly. Skinny blonde, blue eyed, well-spoken (serious) musicians who make fun of juvenile "manly" strutting are gay I guess. Unfortunately I drive them nuts by getting more girls than they do. The ultimate revenge to such unfounded accusatory claims.

 

[Rubenesque]

** comes and gives SLB a right good bitch slapping for the "fat" remarks **

Now, we all know that some of the best people in the entire world, nay, universe are fat!! lol

While you fail to make an argument that can be related to SLBs situation, I feel to remind you that overweight people should not be ideal by any means, as I hear Its quite unhealthy, unlike gayness, I believe. Also, are you suggessting that there are more "better people" who are fat, than there are slim and average sucessful guys?
I like your tits by the way.

I wasn't suggesting anything

Can everyone please be on the lookout for Keikoburgermann's sense of humour please, it appears to have gone missing!

And thanks for the compliment - I suppose