I'm having trouble coming out so...

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by D_Dingus Nosedigger, Aug 13, 2008.

  1. D_Dingus Nosedigger

    D_Dingus Nosedigger New Member

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    I need some help.

    Logically, I know I'm gay because, obviously, I'm sexually attracted to men. However, whenever I think of actually coming out to people (such as my family), I always get this nagging feeling in the back of my head that says 'maybe this isn't the right thing to do...maybe I'm actually straight'.

    I cant describe the feeling other than saying it feels as if perhaps I'm just deluding myself that I am gay...perhaps I'm actually a straight guy diverting my urges.

    does this happen often, or am I in need of perhaps a deeper analysis with a therapist or something?
     
  2. Jonathan2/11

    Jonathan2/11 New Member

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    ya I know how u feel I'm in the same position u know I read a thing on here one time and it said that straight guys dnt announce to there parents that there straight and thats true so why do we have to sit down wit our family and do dat so I dnt know I guess they will find out when I bring a guy home
     
  3. Xcuze

    Gold Member

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    If you are sexually attracted to men only then you are gay. Dont complicate the issue by over thinking it. How you deal with your social circumstances is a seperate issue. I just dont understand why people keep getting confused about who they are attracted to. Sexual attraction is a basic human instinct. Just go with it & dont fight it.
     
  4. Dorian_Gray

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    Hiding in the light...
    lol... I see what you did there. I like that.
     
  5. B_Think_Kink

    B_Think_Kink New Member

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    Be attracted to whomever you please. Try both, experiment, learn and grow as a person. Come out when you feel it is time, not when others think you're ready.
     
  6. Principessa

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    QFT! I would add one caveat, if you know your family, (parents in particular) are homophobic then you may want to wait until you are not living with them to come out. Unfortunately it is very common for parents to kick their gay son or daughter out of the house. :frown1:
     
  7. D_Dingus Nosedigger

    D_Dingus Nosedigger New Member

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    well my parents aren't homophobic, i know that. but the only thing that confuses me is....what is that thing holding me back from coming out? I mean is it normal to have inhibitions?
     
  8. EagleCowboy

    EagleCowboy Well-Known Member

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    Yep. It's called fear of the unknown.
     
  9. D_Fiona_Farvel

    D_Fiona_Farvel Account Disabled

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    Imo, there's no reason to announce anything, just date whoever you want to and allow others to draw their own conclusions.
     
  10. SlickWilly

    SlickWilly Member

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    I wrestled with the "coming out" issue for years... & made up my mind that I shouldn't have to. It's noone's business but mine & whoever I'm involved with. Perhaps that's a copout, in order to avoid rejection... so be it. Everyone's gotta do it (or not) as they see fit. If someone asked, I'd tell them... but I don't see the need to advertise. That's me... do what's right for you.
     
  11. bstexas

    bstexas Member

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    I'm gay and have yet to tell my parents. I'm just a regular guy ... no swishing, limp wristed actions ... just the way I am. But even so my parents have probably been curious. One time when I was in my 20s my dad asked if some girls were gonna be at a party I was going to one night. I said of course and then named some of my girl friends who he knew (and they are lesbians). I didn't feel a need to tell him I'm gay. I live a couple hours away from them and always just did what I want ... hang out with all kinds of friends both make and female. Just let it happen. Is this a cop out? I don't think so. There's no rule for deciding if you should or should not come out to any one. It's your business and not theirs.
     
  12. Gl3nn

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    Do it when you're ready for it. It's normal that you're a bit afraid, but if your parents really love you, they'll accept it.
     
  13. brinzaulsschwul

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    Hi

    You don't have to come out ever, I never did they all knew!!!! here's a link for support groups in PA take a look there's loads

    Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Center at the University of Pennsylvania

    Don't do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable, it's not worth the stress! Although most people who do come out in the 21C don't have the problems of those older guys who lived in the 20C like being thrown out of home. That said there are cultural and religious (yuk) sensitivities to be aware of.

    Parents get stressed because they assume we all going to get HIV (well thats what I keep hearing from young men who have come out) some parents just need reassurance that you not going to be stupid and become an HIV statistic. HIV is rising rapidly.

    So don't be a fool, cover your tool and come out as and when YOU are ready

    All the best
    Brinz




    All
     
  14. ThisOneGuy

    ThisOneGuy New Member

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    I'm in the same situation as you. Everyone but my family knows i'm gay. Of course there have been times where I've wanted to tell them, but like you I always get scared, I suppose.

    I think it's because I just don't want to go 'Hey mum, guess what? I'm gay!' But if she asked, I don't think I would hesistate to tell her.
     
  15. daddyknows

    daddyknows New Member

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    live your life, love cock or cunt and be a nice person.
     
  16. exwhyzee

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    Don't worry about labelling yourself. You might fall for some women in your life, you might fall for some guys. Why try to define who you may, or may not, be attracted to? Why bother making an announcement to everyone that you label yourself?
     
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