I'm in love with my straight best friend.

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by BrownboyNY, Nov 10, 2011.

  1. BrownboyNY

    BrownboyNY Member

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    I was hanging out with my friend we had an amazing time like we always do and then he asked me why we don't hang out more often. I thought about and its because I have feelings for him and its hard for me to be around him. He always talks about his big dick knowing that I'm gay. At first I thought he was a show off but then I thought about the homoerotic things that he does to me. I don't think I can ever hang out without jumping his bones or thinking about kissing (god i want that dick) him I hope that he is at least bi but its doubtful he has always had a girlfriend as long as ive known him. I wish my feelings were just sexual. So I guess. What I'm asking is should I try and explain to him that I can't be friends with him or just never contact him again ?
     
  2. 7"24

    7"24 Member

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    If he knows your out of the closet. Next time we does something homoerotic to you make a move ;). If he backs off play it off ass you were joking around.
     
  3. NYHoti

    NYHoti Member

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    Brownboy, we have all been there. My heart goes out to you. It sucks. If he is completely straight there is nothing that can be done. You will have to be content with only having him as a friend.
     
  4. BrownboyNY

    BrownboyNY Member

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    He is to smart to believe That I'm. Just joking
     
  5. BrownboyNY

    BrownboyNY Member

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    Thank you. I don't Think I can see daily it's to much for me I have to cut him off but should I give him an explanation
     
  6. pepinogrande

    pepinogrande Well-Known Member

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    1. Maybe he does NOT have a big dick; maybe he is just saying that because he knows that you like to hear that.
    2. Have you ever actually seen it?
    3. If you were in gym together and showered together...did he ever start popping a hard on?
    4. A lot of guys are cool with being with gays...some guys are like gays 'stuck' in a straight body....but, they don't really have anything in common with women...actually find them to be boring air-heads...particularly when they are still in their 20s.
    5. My point is ....he may actually crave being with you ...just because your a guy and can do guy stuff together.
    Summary: NEVER give up a good friend!
     
  7. B_beltboy

    B_beltboy New Member

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    You need to test the waters in a way that is safe. Casual nudity, porn, discussion about cirucumsicion with a presentation...you need to get creative. I was in that mode with my bf for YEARS, and finally one day the floodgates opened and we allowed some intimacy into the relationship, and some arms length sex play...but he is straight, so a certain line was never crossed. Still, we moved to a different threshold, and I suspect your friend will play....
     
  8. billblows4u

    billblows4u Member

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    you are not alone! i am in the same boat but my friend of 30 yrs is gay. we talk about it when i need to. he loves me to death just not romantically, if and when my emotions run away about him and we are together i may 1. leave what we were doing for another day or 2. excuse myself and go into the bathroom and compose myself. the one point to make clear is: communicate with him. i find that although it is uncomfortable to do so when bobby and i talk i feel much better. so i vote for being honest and talking.
     
  9. BrownboyNY

    BrownboyNY Member

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    I've seen it in his gym shorts in high school. He always for random Boners and it was a very decent. Bulge I don't. Want to give him up but my heart. Pounds when I see him
     
  10. BrownboyNY

    BrownboyNY Member

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    A part of me strongly thinks that he would be up for some lite gay action but not while. He has a girlfriend and if they for some reason break up my window of opportunity would be limited. Before he finds a knew girl
     
  11. B_jasonbig

    B_jasonbig New Member

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    gay men always confuse straight guys been flirty and jokey as they are maybe a bit gay, in reality its what most people do when they feel a bit awkward and want to take the edge of it, acknowledge the fact your gay by joking about it, it gets rid of maybe some awkwardness about hanging out with another guy who likes cock. personally i can say whenever ive had a gay friend, they never last long because i try and behave like i do with my straight mates, and well straight guys when drunk can be quite touchy feely and affectionate towards eachother, doesnt mean we want eachothers cocks, so if we do that to another guy who is gay the meaning of it can be twisted
     
  12. BrownboyNY

    BrownboyNY Member

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    It'll be hard but I feel like once. Bring it. Up it'll. Be too weird and then. I'll. Be forced. To cut him out of my life
     
  13. jjsjr

    Gold Member

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    Somehow, I feel like this is a big red flag.
    You should be cautious, do you care more about the friendship here or the sex?
    Seek the one that matters most.
     
  14. BrownboyNY

    BrownboyNY Member

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    Thanks. For bringing that up I totally get that when he smacks my ass and comments on it or says something. About the front of my pants I laugh. And quickly. Move on because I don't want to be that gay that always. Trys to make a move onthe straight guys
     
  15. BrownboyNY

    BrownboyNY Member

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    Its not. Just sex that I want from him and I don't. Think I'm. Ready to answer that I don't. Know what I want:confused:
     
  16. BrownboyNY

    BrownboyNY Member

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    I'm. Going to see him tonight my predictions for tonight are that we will hang out with him like nothing is wrong and suffer silently
     
  17. Juicee Jubes

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    I tend to agree with Jason, sometimes things can get taken out of context because of perceptions or our orientation. Friendly gesture to some is flirting to others, having experienced a similar situation and admiring my straight mate, and having a bi friend interested in me when I wasnt thinking anything more of our friendship. Live and learn and love who ever you wish, just know to have love doesnt always equal the need to own.

    Cuddle
     
  18. EllieP

    Staff Member Moderator Gold Member

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    I'm trying to put your situation in a perspective I understand, and admittedly it's difficult. But when I worked in Atlanta I had the biggest crush on this guy about my age. He was not only one of the nicest guys I know but he was very nice looking, too. And very friendly to the whole office. I think it was the way he treated people that really made me crush on him so much. He was just a genuine person. And married.

    I rarely spoke to him and actually avoided interacting with him whenever I could. When a group would go to lunch and he was part of it I never went with them. I just didn't trust myself. And if we were forced into an informal situation I would always say or do something stupid. I know it sounds silly now, but I really had all sorts of scenarios go through my head, but I knew if I acted on any one of them I would be no better than my goddam cheating ex.

    My closest friend told me that I had a crush on him, and I asked her if it was noticeable. She said yes. I was mortified.

    We continued working together for a couple of years before I got another job. I thought about him for weeks after I left. I think if I unexpectedly met him face to face today I would act just as silly as I did then.
     
  19. B_Nick8

    B_Nick8 New Member

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    I agree that the best solution is to communicate and be honest. He already knows you're gay and would wonder (and perhaps be hurt) if you walk away without explanation. Worst case scenario, he agrees with you that hanging out regularly isn't appropriate under the circumstances. Best case, you open up other possibilities--which you'll never know if you just walk.

    And not to be a pedant, but I hope you don't punctuate your conversation the way you do your writing. Otherwise, he may become thoroughly confused. :wink:
     
  20. B_debonair87

    B_debonair87 New Member

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    This. Me and my friends make subtle remarks and gestures at one another all in good fun. When drunk we can be stupid affectionate. Its not supposed to be taken serious and we know we can fuck around like that. It doesn't escalate to something sexual and its not supposed too. Recently at a friends bday all us guys got drunk and all started dancing on each other and grinding on a pole and all the women (which included some of their wives and girlfriends) sat back and flipped their camera phones on and were laughing heavily. We were Just guys being guys.

    I have 1 gay friend and I never behave like that around him even when drunk in fear he might catch feelings or believe I'm secretly coming onto him.

    You just need to control those feelings and realize that's just how dudes are.
     
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