Well? He used to ditch you in 11th grade. You are 27 and still don't talk to him, yet you wished him a HB on facebook. That sounds childish to me. Life is way too short man.
I'm in love with my straight best friend.
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aqua-illusion
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Well let me further elaborate on the situation...
I've tried many times over the years to talk to him, even to the point of mailing him birthday cards with written notes about how stupid I was back then and I would like to continue to be friends.
Never a response but a "Thank you for the birthday wishes" and always talks of "we'll catch up one day when I'm not busy"
As life goes on people move on or are busy...have their own lives going on, they don't have time and I guess that is my fault for turning away my best friend. We did have dreams of "growing old" together as best buddies but it looks like it was me that ended that dream...just gotta move on:smile: and not dwell on the past...just sharing my experience of "loving my straight friend" :frown1:
My take on the whole dilemma is that the next time that he does something homoerotic, simply say 'you're kidding right', because I sometimes think that you mean it and if you don't then you need to cut it out because it is causing me some confusion because I like you, but have no hope of anything evolving. I value our friendship a lot but unless we can move on from this or move on toward what you suggest by your actions, then it will only make things tense and I am glad that I have finally brought it up, I don't want to second guess anyone, I prefer to know where I stand.
At that point the ball is in his court, he will either leave in a huff, call you a name and leave in a huff or understand that he's not exactly playing fair with you and that teasing the 'gay' guy is not fun for you.
Good Luck!
At that point the ball is in his court, he will either leave in a huff, call you a name and leave in a huff or understand that he's not exactly playing fair with you and that teasing the 'gay' guy is not fun for you.
Good Luck!
You need to be strong and address him about it. If he's a good friend (and the way you go on he seems to be) He will either admit to something or amend his behavior to be less flirtatious. Either way, you need to do something about it, brainstorming 'what ifs' only get you so far
Smaccoms
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The thing is, sometimes men do things like that and don't address them because they are too afraid of what might be going on in their head. Sometimes, guys do start to feel things they never thought they could. They want to feel it more, but they're afraid of what it might mean. Other guys flirt as a joke and it doesn't mean anything really. It's your judgement call to make out which one it is.
If I were in your situation, the next time he does something homoerotic, I would respond in the same way, but 1 step beyond his comfort level. Doing so it will make it a little bit more serious. At this point, he'd be like "WOA MAN!!", or he'll keep joking around and go further. If he goes even further, I'd do the same thing again. If you treat it as if he's actually trying to get laid with you, it forces him to address the issue, you see what I mean? If you continually bring outside his comfort zone just a little, it forces him to be clear with what's going on after awhile. If it works, I'd bring up to him after a while if the guy still can't make a decision.
You could also try flirting with him, but in a different format. If he always flirts with you by physical contact for example, try verbalizing it. Often times, these things require us to read peoples' reactions, their primary reaction. Is he nervous or breathing hard? Is he extremely distracted (looks everywhere but at you)? Does he avoid the situation by drastically changing the subject? What do you think his reasonings are behind doing these things. If he's extremely nervous and uptight while doing such things, he's probably trying to hide something. If he laughs it off and act as if it's nothing, he probably doesn't care as much as you think. Anyways, I'm going to stop lecturing now.
Just remember to above all, have fun with it. PLay around with his flirtations to get better idea of what his reactions mean overall. Good luck!
If I were in your situation, the next time he does something homoerotic, I would respond in the same way, but 1 step beyond his comfort level. Doing so it will make it a little bit more serious. At this point, he'd be like "WOA MAN!!", or he'll keep joking around and go further. If he goes even further, I'd do the same thing again. If you treat it as if he's actually trying to get laid with you, it forces him to address the issue, you see what I mean? If you continually bring outside his comfort zone just a little, it forces him to be clear with what's going on after awhile. If it works, I'd bring up to him after a while if the guy still can't make a decision.
You could also try flirting with him, but in a different format. If he always flirts with you by physical contact for example, try verbalizing it. Often times, these things require us to read peoples' reactions, their primary reaction. Is he nervous or breathing hard? Is he extremely distracted (looks everywhere but at you)? Does he avoid the situation by drastically changing the subject? What do you think his reasonings are behind doing these things. If he's extremely nervous and uptight while doing such things, he's probably trying to hide something. If he laughs it off and act as if it's nothing, he probably doesn't care as much as you think. Anyways, I'm going to stop lecturing now.
Just remember to above all, have fun with it. PLay around with his flirtations to get better idea of what his reactions mean overall. Good luck!
I have a straight friend who's just a few years younger than I am, and we've known each other about 15 years. He's married with a couple of kids and his wife is great. He flirts with me shamelessly, calling me pet names through email, and says he loves me. He's all hugs and kissing me on the cheek when we see each other in person. He's got some wicked aim for tweaking my nipple through a shirt too. I let him because I know he genuinely cares for me as a friend, and he's now comfortable with who he is. At one point, a girlfriend screwed him over, left him emotionally broken, and questioning everything about himself. Out of the blue he made a pass at me. I had a boyfriend at the time, so I bluntly turned him down. I also knew where it was coming from, and the damage it would have caused. Then he met a great woman and they got married. He even came to me for advice on how to romance his wife a little better. Today, it's just fun banter, and makes me laugh. Once in a while he pushes too far and I remind him that if he won't put out, then I'm going to have to put in....
If it's uncomfortable for you, speak up, otherwise, take some comfort in your friend. if they won't share your bed, they still share your heart.
If it's uncomfortable for you, speak up, otherwise, take some comfort in your friend. if they won't share your bed, they still share your heart.
Smaccoms
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jetjok9
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I also was in love with my best friend in Junior and Senior High School. I still fantasize about him (or perhaps, more correctly, about his huge cock and the sex we managed to have). It's complicated-- just like life. Through the years, I could never understand why he would share his huge cock with me. I know it turned him on like crazy to show it off to me-- but I always knew he was straight. He always felt horribly guilty about our sex the day after and would avoid me for months (we lived in separate towns). Then I would come home for the holidays, and he would give in again after I rubbed his back and massaged his throbbing cock. It became even more complicated when we both took life partners. He complained about the sex because he bottomed out in his wife and couldn't full-stroke it. And next thing you know it was blow job city. He never reciprocated. Got off, and zipped up. But it was a connection that lasted for 25+ years. Finally, the morning-after guilt got to him, and he said No more. It has been hard to have a good friendship since then because I respect his No, but his body language and bulge always say Yes. It is indeed complicated.
I have always wondered if his huge cock actually caused him to be very self-conscious, and also full of self-doubt that no one liked him for who he was-- they were only looking to get some of his big dick. We talked about it often, but I never thought he fully understood how conflicted he was. He would say No, but the snake down his jeans was screaming Yes. All I wanted to do was help his self-image, and get some of that huge cock. Lol.
I do think we are sexually formed by our first love. The experieinces of our first sexual partner form the skelton of our future desires and fantasies and turn ons. I have spent my life looking to replicate our sex, and always come away from a relationship slightly disappointed that it wasn't as blindingly good as those sexual encounters with him.
I am married to a great guy now, and we have a great sex life, but I must admit, I still fantasize about my first sex with my huge-dicked straight friend. He forged me, and I him. It is complicated.
And then I wonder, if he called tomorrow and said he wanted me (hope springs eternal!), would I leave everything and go back to him? Crazy question. It will never happen. But still I wonder, I guess because I am still in love with him. Or maybe, still in lust with him. It is complicated, just like life...
I have always wondered if his huge cock actually caused him to be very self-conscious, and also full of self-doubt that no one liked him for who he was-- they were only looking to get some of his big dick. We talked about it often, but I never thought he fully understood how conflicted he was. He would say No, but the snake down his jeans was screaming Yes. All I wanted to do was help his self-image, and get some of that huge cock. Lol.
I do think we are sexually formed by our first love. The experieinces of our first sexual partner form the skelton of our future desires and fantasies and turn ons. I have spent my life looking to replicate our sex, and always come away from a relationship slightly disappointed that it wasn't as blindingly good as those sexual encounters with him.
I am married to a great guy now, and we have a great sex life, but I must admit, I still fantasize about my first sex with my huge-dicked straight friend. He forged me, and I him. It is complicated.
And then I wonder, if he called tomorrow and said he wanted me (hope springs eternal!), would I leave everything and go back to him? Crazy question. It will never happen. But still I wonder, I guess because I am still in love with him. Or maybe, still in lust with him. It is complicated, just like life...
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