I'm just not doing well....

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by DaddiesBoy, Jan 7, 2012.

  1. DaddiesBoy

    DaddiesBoy Well-Known Member

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    I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed with a man and I can't get over it. I think I am in love. I think about him constantly, i fantasize, I call him every day, the list goes on.... To say I have a crush is such an understatement. Crush means, liking someone in a secretive and semi-passionate way. I can't get over this guy. As I mentioned in a previous thread, he is "straight". As I also mentioned, I have a very strong feeling that he is hiding in the closest from society's view. He talks about his "experiments" in college, he talks about which men in Hollywood are attractive, he also fits so many gay stereotypes. The issue of him being gay or not is not my main focus. My issue is ME! This is hurting me! With having such an attraction towards the guy, I constantly find myself fishing for details about his body or his sex life or his experiences.

    What I'm doing here is wrong:

    The guy once told me he had an 8-9 inch dick and I couldn't believe it. I've been so hooked on it that I've been trying to figure out if that was true or not for months. Many things tell me that he's not right about his size. A lot of guys guess by using the number 7 or 8 without realizing how big that actually is. I'm 8 inches and he has seen a picture of it. When he saw it, he said, "Wow, you could make a lot of money with that?" I asked how he compared and he said he wasn't close to that. He never asked how many inches though. Then, I sent him a picture of a stick.... just a wooden stick, next to my arm as a scale and asked him how many inches he thought it was. His answer was 9. Then I told him that it was only 7 inches and that 7 is actually a lot bigger than people think. I referred back to him telling me that he had said 8-9 inches a while back and I asked if he honestly thought his cock was bigger than my arm.... No response.... I pushed and pushed and pushed to the point where he got mad. I told him that I was just curious and I wanted to know if he was bigger in college, or if he never legitimately measured, or if he lied to not feel embarrassed..... no answer. The guy is mad now.

    Here is where the problem lies. I am into "Daddies" that are hung. I don't know what it is about them but it is my complete fetish and is really the only type of guy I'm into. I am a size queen for sure. This man is so perfect in my head and even though I have NO chance of getting with him, I am trying to find out how big he is to complete this incredible picture in my head. He is literally the most gorgeous man I have ever seen and I can't stand it.

    What do I do here?

    Do I tell this guy that I'm really into him and am so curious about his "member" because it's what I'm really into? I don't know what else to do here. It's seriously destroying my sanity. I have a case of OCD where I can obsess over something so much to the point of an anxiety induced panic attack. Although I'm medicated, I have gone to the hospital several times in the past because of it. I'm a freak and I have accepted that, but it doesn't make this guy any easier to deal with.... I can't just forget about him and move on. I'm saying it now, that that's impossible. I need another solution. The original purpose of this thread was for the idea of a support group. I don't need responses from people like, "someone has daddy issues" or "Get over it! stick to your own game", because that kind of stuff is not helpful. I'm only 18 years old and have only been in the field for less than a year. I'm new to this kind of thing. But this situation that I've been dealing with for so long is tearing me apart and is becoming too much for me. Like I said, I'm obsessed with this man.... I'm in love.... and it's gotten to the point where I can't take it anymore. Someone please give me something insightful. I really need some advice here. What do I say to the guy that won't push him away and end our friendship? Besides my attraction, we are really good friends which is the other half of this. I talk to him every day about school, life, friends, careers, theater.... etc. We have a lot in common and he has been there for me through a lot.... I can't lose this guy. I can't lose this friendship. But what I am losing is my mind. Please help....

    -Jason-
     
  2. dolfette

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    therapy and/or meds.

    obsession is not the same as love.
    if you're obsessed with anything to the degree you're talking about, where it impacts upon your life and happiness, then it's unhealthy.

    people obsess in order to escape.
     
  3. DaddiesBoy

    DaddiesBoy Well-Known Member

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    I think It's a combination of both.... What would I be trying to escape?
     
  4. D_Fiona_Farvel

    D_Fiona_Farvel Account Disabled

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    I agree with Dolf.

    Imo, you should find something more productive to do with your time other than fall in a cycle of obsession and desperation.

    If the friend has confirmed he is straight, even "straight," respect his state of being. If it changes in the future, then act, but there's nothing you can do to force it.
     
  5. buffaloboy

    buffaloboy Active Member

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    Aspects of your life and/or parts of your personality you don't like.

    If the man is straight and in a relationship I honestly can't see any good coming of this and I think you should distance yourself from this man if, as it seems, you are unable to keep your emotions in check.
     
  6. DaddiesBoy

    DaddiesBoy Well-Known Member

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    That is very difficult to do! I'm used to talking to him every single day....
     
  7. bearvwe

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    So make this the first day that you don't speak to him.

    I agree with Buffaloboy - this is going nowhere. You are flogging a dead horse and beating yourself up at the same time.
     
  8. DaddiesBoy

    DaddiesBoy Well-Known Member

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    It's seriously torture because I feel like if I stop talking to him for a day, I will go insane or become miserable.
     
  9. buffaloboy

    buffaloboy Active Member

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    Which is absurd. Why do you think your happiness and state of mind is so dependent one person - and a currently romantically unattainable person at that?

    I really think you should look into having cognitive behavioural therapy as this way of thinking and living your life is extremely unhealthy.
     
  10. mattsrod7

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    You said he's straight, just leave him a that. move on
     
  11. DaddiesBoy

    DaddiesBoy Well-Known Member

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    It feels like trying to get rid of my best friend because I'm attracted to him. Although he's "unobtainable", he's still a really good friend.
     
  12. Nate_

    Nate_ New Member

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    Do a road trip and make sure there is only one bed in the room then make your move. If nothing happens so be it!
     
  13. buffaloboy

    buffaloboy Active Member

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    Unless you can switch off your overwhelming feelings for him then it's likely to continue to torment you. Is that what you want? Perhaps on some level it is, if you subconsciously believe that you aren't actually worthy of reciprocal love.

    But I honestly think these are issues that you need to be discussing with a therapist.
     
  14. DaddiesBoy

    DaddiesBoy Well-Known Member

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    Is that supposed to be funny? I made it very clear that I wanted serious posts only here....
     
  15. Masterbeight

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    Common sense, Jason. Losing a friend who's making you crazy is far better than completely losing yourself.
     
  16. buffaloboy

    buffaloboy Active Member

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    There aren't any magic solutions. The answers have to come from you, but you will find it easier with the support of a therapist.
     
  17. Nate_

    Nate_ New Member

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    Seriously make a move or move on. That will get your answer.
     
  18. Novaboy

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    Even if you make a move and he goes for it does not mean that the two of you will have a relationship. If he is already in a relationship and identifies as straight than you need to let it go. If you think you are feeling lost and hurt now, imagine how you will feel when you get a "taste" of a relationship with him but is still anavalable to you exclusively. You will get very hurt in this set up.
     
  19. dolfette

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    most people manage ok if they don't talk to their bff for a day. so don't talk to him today.

    have you considered that, by calling him every day, you might actually be making him feel a little crowded and putting a strain on his relationship? because that's a real and serious possibility.

    reread your posts, imagining they weren't written by you, and see just how far off reason they sound.

    honestly, i think therapy would be worth looking into.
     
  20. B_debonair87

    B_debonair87 New Member

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    this is getting ridiculous.

    either this kid is trolling or he's seriously sick in his head..........
     
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