I'm New and VERY BIG

[13788]

super_big_boy: Hi,

I'm 18 and my penis is 26" long when erect and 20" around. I can never have sex. The only thing I have had sex with is the hole I have made in my wall. I had sex with a girl once but I ended up cracking her pelvic bone and braking her spine... I felt kinda bad. I have tried techniques to make my penis smaller but they didn't help. I dunno what to do... sometimes I like it cos my mum loves big dicks and she sometimes licks it and tosses me off but other than that its a real pain.

 

[13788]

jjdov26: Hahaha

That's hilarious.

A very satisfying parody.

If offered in the spirit of satire and humor, good show.  

If not, I’m sure the other members who are less generous than I am will have at you.

 

[Pecker]

I suppose your tailor soaks you good for all that extra fabric it takes to make one leg of your pants wider than the other.

Do you have trouble tucking your glans into the top of your sock to keep it from peeking out?

Gym workouts must be interesting. You must look like you have a spare tire when you wrap it around your waist so it won't fall through the leg of your shorts.

I guess you have to back up to the shower so you can get close enough to the spray to get wet.

I'll leave the rest of this to the board...

Guys?

 

[13788]

Donk: I'm afraid you are a deformed freak. We have no help to offer you. You are doomed to a life of misery and bruised knees. Sorry.

 

[13788]

Tender: ...

 

[13788]

Dickprint: am i silly for laughing like crazy while i read the post? ;D

 

[HungArnold]

Post your pic

 

[Pecker]

[quote author=HungArnold link=board=relationships;num=1072572486;start=0#6 date=12/28/03 at 06:38:21]Post your pic[/quote]

I'm not sure Yahoo has a file folder big enough.

 

[B_DoubleMeatWhopper]

You think you have troubles, super_big_boy? I have gained the reputation of being clumsy due to tripping over my big cock protruding out of the bottom of my trousers. Whenever I get a surprise hardon, my big cock jumps up, knocks me in the forehead and renders me unconscious. Helpful hint of the day: if you have difficulty concealing your penis, just pull it back between your legs and stuff it up your ass. Your cock will be out of the way, and no one could ever seriously claim that you're anal retentive!

 

[13788]

jerkin4-10: stuff it up your ass...LOL...good one...reminds me of the joke about the determining factor of whether or not your a man or not...being able to touch your cockhead to your asshole...the kid keep replying, no he cant, then situation arises where he gets to ask dad whether he can or not...dad replies , why yes son i can...son tells dad to go fuck himself...

 

[13788]

super_big_boy: Guys I'm not lying, My dick is that big, I tried taking a picture but I got a hardon and knocked the camera out my hand and broke it.

 

[jonb]

[quote author=DoubleMeatWhopper link=board=relationships;num=1072572486;start=0#8 date=12/28/03 at 10:18:26]Helpful hint of the day: if you have difficulty concealing your penis, just pull it back between your legs and stuff it up your ass.[/quote]And here I wanted to tell him to go fuck himself. But that would make me the biggest flame on this forum! LOL

Jon (Now the mods will pun-ish me)

 

[13788]

ruscular: My dick use to be that long before the operation I used to break off ceiling tile during my morning woody, and now I have a collaspable folding joint in my dick. Life is now all good!

 

[Pecker]

[quote author=jonb link=board=relationships;num=1072572486;start=0#11 date=12/28/03 at 15:05:27]
And here I wanted to tell him to go fuck himself. But that would make me the biggest flame on this forum! LOL

Jon (Now the mods will pun-ish me)[/quote]

I banish you to Intergalactic Orbit-gasm.

 

[B_DoubleMeatWhopper]

[quote author=jonb link=board=relationships;num=1072572486;start=0#11 date=12/28/03 at 15:05:27]
Jon (Now the mods will pun-ish me)[/quote]

Jon, I sentence you to spend time in the punitentiary!

 

[13788]

mindseye: [quote author=DoubleMeatWhopper link=board=relationships;num=1072572486;start=0#14 date=12/28/03 at 19:36:19] the punitentiary!
[/quote]

...which, ironically, brings us back to the original post. About the only place I could think of with walls thick enough that a 26x20 penis could be accommodated by a hole is, well, a prison.

Or maybe a nuclear facility, which would explain a lot as well...

 

[B_Jeremy]

Good grief... that's all I have to say...

 

[jonb]

[quote author=mindseye link=board=relationships;num=1072572486;start=0#15 date=12/28/03 at 19:58:01]

...which, ironically, brings us back to the original post.  About the only place I could think of with walls thick enough that a 26x20 penis could be accommodated by a hole is, well, a prison.

Or maybe a nuclear facility, which would explain a lot as well...  


[/quote]
I thought radiation made it smaller...

 

[Pecker]

[quote author=jonb link=board=relationships;num=1072572486;start=0#17 date=12/29/03 at 19:47:22]
I thought radiation made it smaller...[/quote]

According to Dr. David Banner, gamma rays make it big and green when it's aroused.

"Don't arouse me. You wouldn't like me when I'm aroused."

 

[13788]

niner: [quote author=super_big_boy link=board=relationships;num=1072572486;start=0#0 date=12/27/03 at 16:39:06]Hi,

I'm 18 and my penis is 26" long when erect and 20" around.[/quote]

Ah, so many jokes and such little time...

Now maybe instead of inches you mean centimetres, but by the ridiculous nature of your post, I doubt it. So I think we can all write this off as you asking for it, and we can all get some rest...

But before you do, I've got to add my share

I've gotta check my account balance though, this is going to be a pretty big reality check, and, in the words of a friend of mine, I wanna make sure it clears.

Another solution to your problem is to wake up -- that dream world of your is nothin' but problems...