"I'm not a top...

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by novice_btm, Sep 3, 2006.

  1. novice_btm

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    ...but I would for YOU."

    OK, something I'm not getting. There's nothing ambiguous about the BTM in my nickname. Now, considering most of my "experience" with men is pretty confined to chatting and the cyber realm in general, they see a firm label planted on me from the start. It's not like the guys that I'm chatting about see me in the market, and have to figure anything out at all. So...

    Lately, I've been approached by guys that say things like, "Hey, bottom here too! What's up?", and "I need to get pounded so bad. Wanna hook up?" :eek: Or, my two most recent favorites, who said almost the exact same thing, "Well, there's just one problem... I'm not a top, but I would for YOU." The last two could be taken as flattering, but I don't get devoted bottoms approaching another bottom. :confused:

    It just seems odd to me. I mean, straight guys don't approach another guy and say, "Man, I need to get in some pussy. Can I suck your cock?" :rolleyes:
     
  2. GoneA

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    Well, it's just that: they'll top for you. You don't have to worry about the eventuality of them reverting back to being a bottom as many of those guys are looking for quickies and one-night-stands.
     
  3. novice_btm

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    Yeah, I guess I get this part of it, but I still don't get the guys who are bottom-only, yet still approach other bottoms to "hook up".

    "Uh, yeah, ok, and do WHAT?" :tongue:
     
  4. GoneA

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    Yeah, if they're looking for a LTR then there's definitely going to be a lot of awkward silence. :tongue:
     
  5. joyboytoy79

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    Novice... I have the same problem.

    him: hey wanna hook up?
    me: uh, aren't you a bottom?
    him: yeah, but you're so hot, i'd top for you
    me: but, doesn't that make you vers?
    him: no, i've never topped before, you would be the first
    me: so, you're completely inexperienced and have no clue what you're doing???

    I don't get it. I'm not interested in converting any bottoms. ESPECIALLY those who have never before had any interest in topping. Makes no sence.
     
  6. novice_btm

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    EXACTLY! It would be completely different if they were the "Ass turns me on so much, I've always wanted to try one" sort, but these are dedicated bottoms that are hitting on me. :confused:

    Almost as odd/annoying as a "total top" guy I know. He was playing with my ass, and was getting more and more turned on, that *I* was getting so turned on that he stopped, and started asking all kinds of questions about it, and how it felt, etc. *This is the same guy from other thread that almost cried with pleasure from me being the first to ever fully deepthroat him, so things were pretty hot and heavy at this point.* Eventually, he somehow got to the point where he wanted to find out what it was like. *I suspended my own (dis)belief.* Then, had me play with his ass. He seemed a bit uncomfortable, but had me keep going. Then... he says, "I wanna feel you in me." I say that I'm a bottom, and I'm not who he wants in there. He keeps asking, and telling me how good he'll make me feel after I do him, blah blah blah... More pressure, eventually, I relent, pop on a rubber, pour on the lube, ease it in, and he's TOTALLY turned on. He strokes himself while I pump, and in no time shoots a big load all over himself. I purposely don't cum, so that I'm horned as hell for him to do me, but, of course, instead he says, "Oh man, that was too intense. I came way too hard to get it back up right now." :mad: This from the guy who hounded me for MONTHS to get at my ass.
     
  7. Lex

    Lex
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    Ah, Novice-- have broached this one before but it has been a while. It seems that some people are truthful and others lie in order to make themselves more marketable. I tend to lean towards most guys being a little dishonest, so I read the words as follows:

    Total Top = Won't ever bottom (unless you get a good lubed finger in there)
    Top= Will bottom
    Top\Vers = versatile--wants to top and bottom
    Vers = bottom
    Bottom/Vers = might top if you get him hot and he can keep it up
    Bottom = lays there and does not move.


    I had a guy chat me up a few days ago who told me he was versatile. When I pressed further, he recanted to being Bottom/Vers (with a big preference for the bottom).

    I have also had guys who are total tops lie and say they are versatile since I won't ever flip for someone who won't flip for me.

    I consider myself much more top, although I will bottom if chemistry is right. I don't advertise versatile, however because of the connotation of the liars. I wear one armband, on the left. When I start really talking to someone, I let them know.

    In the end, I think it boils down to these top/bottom classifications being seem as more (top) or less (bottom) manly and the social stigma involved in some people's paradigms.
     
  8. GoneA

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    If you're looking for quick hook-ups I don't see what the problem is, really. You and your prospect meet for a few hours, do what you must do, and then the roads diverge.

    I personally don't do hook-ups (well, that's not entirely true), so I would have to find a dyed-in-the-wool bottom. However, if I were into one-night-stands then I wouldn't mind reversing for a guy that I was truly interested in. :rolleyes:

    .

    :mad:, indeed.
     
  9. joyboytoy79

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    Lexie, this had me cracking UP!

    Although, i can assure you, as a "Bottom" myself, i DO move, a LOT. And often i'm not lying down. In fact, usually i'm in a sitting possition and the "Top" is lying down and not moving much (other than to arch his back from intense pleasure!).
     
  10. Matthew

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    Double-headed dildo pajama party? :rolleyes: :wink:
     
  11. Lex

    Lex
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    JoyBoyToy--I love it when a bottom likes to ride on top. Good bottoms do this very well. Kudos to you!
     
  12. headbang8

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    There are certain things you do in a relationship. Cook breakfast for two. See a movie that you don't really want to see. Wait patiently on a bench at the mall while the other half shops. Laugh at a half-funny joke. Put up with a green living room. Couples inconvenience each other all the time--happily. For me, bottoming may be a pain in the ass (literally) but I do it from time to time because it gives him pleasure, and it's only a pain in the ass. Consider it a compliment. Sometimes, the pleasure of sex is in moments of generosity.
     
  13. joyboytoy79

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    joyboytoy79 swoons over Lex :yeah:
     
  14. D_Adoniah Sheervolume

    D_Adoniah Sheervolume Account Disabled

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    i don't see why the heck we have to put such hard and fast labels as "top" or "bottom" on ourselves. i LOVE to get fucked, but sometimes a guy's ass turns me on so much i want it.

    that said, i can't tell you how many guys i've met in the anticipation of being the receptive partner, only to have them see me and have the "roles" reverse. that's why i market myself as a "vers-bttm"
     
  15. novice_btm

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    Well, I fully self-label as a bottom, but have NEVER been accused of laying there, or even as being anything other than a good experience. :wink:

    Yeah, those labels and stigmas have GOT to go! I don't care how manly/macho/butch/masc/str8 you are, if you quiver THAT much when I just touch your ass cheek, you're NOT a "total top"! :wink:
     
  16. D_Bob_Crotchitch

    D_Bob_Crotchitch New Member

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    Maybe it's because you have such a hot butt it could make even straight guys flip? Who knows?
     
  17. F_Man

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    dear Novice_bttm,
    they simply think that you are the cutest, sexiest, most adorable man, and they'd do ANYTHING for you! (Your hairy buns are, indeed, the site's deLuxe specimen!)

    dear Lex,
    your classification list is priceless, I'm smiling so that my balls tingle! Yes, having a horny top bttm as a live saddle can be a deeply moving life-experience!

    dear Joytoyboy,
    you have the most boyish smile and the most charmingly flirty & smart demenor, it makes you instantly lovable and fuckable:)

    dear Headbang8,
    your sense of understanding, compassion, comradery and acommodation is touching!

    What a swell party this (site) is!

    FinnMan:wink:
     
  18. novice_btm

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    Hmm, that's mighty kind of you to say, but I'm not sure that's the case. :wink:

    On the other hand, maybe I should post an application on my profile page, and test out your theory. :rolleyes:
     
  19. Lex

    Lex
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    Fun Tshirt I saw on a (rather handsome, butch, bearded) guy this summer:

    Front: You're NOT a Top...

    Back: Until *I* Put You There!!

    Classic!!

    Think of me as your own personal Sit 'N Spin!! I do so hope you shoot while riding, cowboy!

    I would not expect that you would just lay there, NB. As I said, that list is just for fun. To your second point, I don't know that I agree totally. I think some ass play can be hot, even if you never get penetrated. Lots of guys like to be rimmed but not fucked. That being said, I think it was just YOUR touch that made that guy quiver so!

    Hey--glad you liked it-I can't take total credit--we've compiled a similar list here before when discussing this topic. Welcome to the site.
     
  20. D_Festus_Fannipat

    D_Festus_Fannipat Account Disabled

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    I guess the distinction of sexuality may be different inside a relationship than outside a relationship. For the sake of consideration, it makes sense to be up front with ones sexual needs/desires when communicating with a partner or prospective partner. What we would like to do, sexually, may not necessarily drop into neat buckets of "top" or "bottom." Should we even attempt to classify sexuality that precisely?

    Classifying ones self as 100% top or bottom doesn't make much sense, particularly if one hopes to have variety and excitement with sexuality and self. Perhaps the terms are sufficiently ambiguous (the boundaries, that is) that assuming a "sexual role" as a top and assuming a "sexual role" as a bottom is really what we do. Beyond penetration, there are certainly attributes to either role that seem almost specific but might also be a little vague and negotiable.

    I am a bottom guy. In relationships, that is typically the role that I play, but there are facets to that role that include control, libido, "topping" my partner, and scads of other social/sexual/emotional issues. I don't consider myself submissive. I sometimes don't consider myself a bottom. I consider myself sexual.

    It's the emotional or sexual connection, the agonizingly delightful physical eroticism, the range of tender love to animalistic passion. It's good sex.

    :adam4:
     
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