I'm not gay but...

DC_DEEP

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No, of course not. The problem with the gay straight categroies is that it is black and white reasoning. Sexuality is more of a shades of grey thing. You sound mostly straight to me. Women do more for you than men.
Actually, your kind of reasoning is what forces the binary (or black & white, as you call it) reasoning onto sexuality. "Mostly straight" is still straight? Do you have a different definition of bisexuality, or do you deny that it exists?
 

auncut10in

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So a straight guy can be homosexual as long as he's heteroemotional, right?

Yes that is exactly right. A person can have homosexual sex, but that does not make him homosexual. It seems like someone on this site has a tag that says something like sitting in a garage does not make you a car. If you only fall in love with women, and are unable to fall in love with a guy then you are a straight guy having gay sex. After you jerk off with another guy, you are still straight. Your wiring did not change.

And yes pierre bleue, if you only fall in love with guys, well then you are gay, but have hetro sex occasionally.

When I was young, I knew I was attracted to guys, but I grew up in a very religious family and being gay just was not an option. So I thought that if I just got married, I would grow to like women and some how this attraction to guys would at least diminish. It just doesn't work that way, and eventually I had to admit to myself I was gay, and I would always be gay. Being married and having sex with a woman was not going to change that. So was I less gay when I was married? Or was I just having hetrosex. I think anyone could have sex with either gender and like how it feels, and yes get turned on by the whole thing. But that does not change their orientation.
 

D_Raymond Handler

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I have more straight than gay guys at the gym comment about the size of my dick, and not a few have wanted to touch it and more. This site is an indication of cock fascination among guys, all along the sexual continuum.
 

DC_DEEP

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Yes that is exactly right. A person can have homosexual sex, but that does not make him homosexual. It seems like someone on this site has a tag that says something like sitting in a garage does not make you a car. If you only fall in love with women, and are unable to fall in love with a guy then you are a straight guy having gay sex. After you jerk off with another guy, you are still straight. Your wiring did not change.

And yes pierre bleue, if you only fall in love with guys, well then you are gay, but have hetro sex occasionally.

When I was young, I knew I was attracted to guys, but I grew up in a very religious family and being gay just was not an option. So I thought that if I just got married, I would grow to like women and some how this attraction to guys would at least diminish. It just doesn't work that way, and eventually I had to admit to myself I was gay, and I would always be gay. Being married and having sex with a woman was not going to change that. So was I less gay when I was married? Or was I just having hetrosex. I think anyone could have sex with either gender and like how it feels, and yes get turned on by the whole thing. But that does not change their orientation.
But you switch back and forth between sexual attraction and romantic (or emotional) attraction. Yes, those things can either be concordant or discordant, but sexual orientation refers to sexual attraction, not romantic attraction. Your "car in the garage" analogy was off the mark. No, sitting in a garage does not make a person a car; but driving a car does make a person a driver.

I'm just trying to sort out how you can reason that sexual orientation does not refer to sexual attraction. It seems to me that the terms are nearly synonymous. If someone has a sexual attraction to one gender or the other, but never falls in love, does that make them asexual?

What I'm saying is, it isn't the action, but the attraction, that determines whether someone is straight, bi, or gay. And I'm not sure why anyone would have sex with someone to whom they were not sexually attracted. Well, I mean, outside the situation you were in - marrying to attempt conformity. I've never ever known of any straight person who had a same-gender relationship to appear gay.
 

midlifebear

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Gay or not gay, the funniest memory of being with a "straight" friend was when I was 20 years-old. The friend in question invited me to his apartment to smoke some weed after we got out of a 12:00 sociology class at univeristy. As we toked away he got out his straight porn magazines and asked me if I wanted to jack off with him. As soon as I pulled it out I got a decent hardon whereupon he bent over to suck me off, but first he looked up and said, "If you cum in my mouth, I'll fucking kill you!" LOL!

He went on to marry, have kids, become an investment banker, get divorced, and semi-retire in Rosarito, México where he's been getting into trouble with the local police for soliciting under-age hustlers.

As for me, needless to say I'm still very much alive and kicking.
 

auncut10in

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But you switch back and forth between sexual attraction and romantic (or emotional) attraction. Yes, those things can either be concordant or discordant, but sexual orientation refers to sexual attraction, not romantic attraction. Your "car in the garage" analogy was off the mark. No, sitting in a garage does not make a person a car; but driving a car does make a person a driver.

I'm just trying to sort out how you can reason that sexual orientation does not refer to sexual attraction. It seems to me that the terms are nearly synonymous. If someone has a sexual attraction to one gender or the other, but never falls in love, does that make them asexual?

What I'm saying is, it isn't the action, but the attraction, that determines whether someone is straight, bi, or gay. And I'm not sure why anyone would have sex with someone to whom they were not sexually attracted. Well, I mean, outside the situation you were in - marrying to attempt conformity. I've never ever known of any straight person who had a same-gender relationship to appear gay.

Well it is me that is not being clear then because I totally agree with you. It isn't action that determine sexual orientation, it is attraction. You said it better than me.
 

Lex

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Actually, your kind of reasoning is what forces the binary (or black & white, as you call it) reasoning onto sexuality. "Mostly straight" is still straight? Do you have a different definition of bisexuality, or do you deny that it exists?
I guess that makes you and me mostly gay?

... sexual orientation refers to sexual attraction, not romantic attraction. ...

...it isn't the action, but the attraction, that determines whether someone is straight, bi, or gay. ...

True, true true. Many people feel sexual attractions that they never act on and I would hold that not acting on them does not make them less gay/straight/bi than the person who does act on them, even when they are acting while denying the underlying attraction.
 

DC_DEEP

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Well, Lex and auncut, I personally don't care what any person's orientation is.

It just seems to me that there are way too many out there who think the actions are OK as long as they don't have a "bad" description attached to them, like "yeah, I'm straight. I like to fuck guys in the ass, but since I'm not taking it up the ass, I'm still straight." The problem with that is that it perpetuates a sanctioned homophobia. Do whatever you want to do, as long as you don't call yourself gay, because it's bad to be gay. You can still both have gay sex, and gay bash, because you call yourself straight. Bisexuality gets totally left out of the discussion, because "neither side" is comfortable with that. It's "too gay" for the straight guys, and "too straight" for the gay guys.

I cannot help but believe that the world would be a much better place if more people were honest about their sexuality, rather than justifying it.