I'm on the verge of making a huge mistake...
- Thread starter wallyj84
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I think the whole situation is merely a cry for help. It is a self inflicted wound so he can binge on the sympathy to fill a bottomless hole.
I really think professional counseling is what is needed to address the underlying issues. Otherwise this cycle of sympathy addiction will simply spiral down into greater dependency.
I really think professional counseling is what is needed to address the underlying issues. Otherwise this cycle of sympathy addiction will simply spiral down into greater dependency.
Phil Ayesho
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Why is he even entertaining rejoining with her?
His actions do not comport with his representations.
What he says is belied by what he chooses to do.
And we are not what occurs to us in our heads- we are only ever the choices we make.
I considered that too.
Wally, on the off chance you really are seeking honest advice: not only is marrying someone just so they can obtain residency status unwise, it just might be illegal. Then you would be alone (which, let's be honest, is the only possible outcome) AND a criminal.
Don't. Just don't.
That's not totally accurate. I'm sorry if that how I made it seem the last time we talked, but I was attracted to her... eventually.
The first time we met, I thought "never seeing her again", but as time went on and we kept on spending time together I did become attracted to her. Loneliness and a desire to have a girlfriend played a big role in that, but I did become attracted to her.
You're are right though. After she who shall not named, I totally didn't understand how that relationship lasted so long.
AlteredEgo
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Well. Maybe you will become attracted to the woman you met through the social group. At least you had a good time with her, or am I misremembering your post? If you've had fun, and look forward to spending more time together, maybe attraction will grow from that. If it doesn't, it doesn't, but it might be worth a shot where you're on equal footing, and you have things and associates in common.
You're right. Love might bloom from this thing.
AlteredEgo
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True. I looked into it just before 9/11, and the penalty was 10 years and/or $10,000.
I wouldn't be marrying her to get her residency.
My initial idea was for her to come and live with me for a couple of weeks. Her quitting her job is because she's used up all of her vacation time already this year.
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Not to mention that marrying just for citizenship is a jailable offense.
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To the OP, I am truly sad for you. I've read your posts across this forum and they all have one thing in common. You are not happy.
Others here have suggested counseling. I second that. As cliche as that song may sound, Learning to Love Yourself is the Greatest Love of All. Once you find peace within yourself, your love life will change.
Others here have suggested counseling. I second that. As cliche as that song may sound, Learning to Love Yourself is the Greatest Love of All. Once you find peace within yourself, your love life will change.
I wouldn't be marrying her just for citizenship.
She might be marrying me just for citizenship, but that wouldn't be my intention.
Who are you attempting to make happy wally? You, her, or both of you?
Or is that Whom?
Or is that Whom?
Who are you attempting to make happy wally? You, her, or both of you?
Or is that Whom?
I'm trying to make myself happy, honestly.
If I were to say there were three places in your body to help you with your decision.
Your Mind, your Heart and your Gut.
All three pretty well spaced from each other.
Logic, Emotion and Instinct.
Do you answer yes to two of those?
Your Mind, your Heart and your Gut.
All three pretty well spaced from each other.
Logic, Emotion and Instinct.
Do you answer yes to two of those?
bravesoldier
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I did something similar years ago. Biggest mistake I ever made. There are others choices, please keep looking.
twoton
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I think it's who.Who are you attempting to make happy wally? You, her, or both of you?
Or is that Whom?
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WallyJ84--
Others above have said it best and are speaking from similar experience. You come on these forums regularly and banter about with the best of them. You've gotten some sage advice here, and I truly hope you will consider all of it as seriously as those who provided their thoughts. Here's my $02.
One thing I learned not to do years ago when it came to my love life was to settle.
It sounds like you have decided to settle for someone rather than the one. Please don't.
I kissed a lot of frogs before finding my prince.
I say this all because this decision is life-altering. It affects today, tomorrow and beyond. I hope you will consider the pros and cons of what you are contemplating doing and weigh it with consideration of both short- and long-time ramifications. It really is that serious.
I truly wish you the best.
Others above have said it best and are speaking from similar experience. You come on these forums regularly and banter about with the best of them. You've gotten some sage advice here, and I truly hope you will consider all of it as seriously as those who provided their thoughts. Here's my $02.
One thing I learned not to do years ago when it came to my love life was to settle.
It sounds like you have decided to settle for someone rather than the one. Please don't.
I kissed a lot of frogs before finding my prince.
I say this all because this decision is life-altering. It affects today, tomorrow and beyond. I hope you will consider the pros and cons of what you are contemplating doing and weigh it with consideration of both short- and long-time ramifications. It really is that serious.
I truly wish you the best.
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OP: Is this chick way hotter than you or something? Like, are you aging and unattractive, and she is average/hot? I mean, that still wouldn't make this a reasonable scenario, but it is the only way i can even fathom it.
Anyways, yeah, there are a lot of people that seem to care about you here giving you solid advice. It's obviously a bad idea, so don't do it. As the 2nd person to post said, if you can afford this, you can afford therapy. Do what he said. If by some strange miracle this situation ended up bringing you more pleasure than pain... she would end up leaving you and then it would just be all pain again. Haha.
Also, if you were to marry her, we'll link the Immigration department to this thread, then they'll deport her
Where is she from, by the way? And can she get a professional work Visa here?
Anyways, yeah, there are a lot of people that seem to care about you here giving you solid advice. It's obviously a bad idea, so don't do it. As the 2nd person to post said, if you can afford this, you can afford therapy. Do what he said. If by some strange miracle this situation ended up bringing you more pleasure than pain... she would end up leaving you and then it would just be all pain again. Haha.
Also, if you were to marry her, we'll link the Immigration department to this thread, then they'll deport her
Where is she from, by the way? And can she get a professional work Visa here?
alcor972
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hmm she must be a woman from asia... because he said he was by there before his recent return to the united states at the beginning of this year...
and he said he likes particularly asian women too...
but asia is the largest continent... lol...
so... rather complicated to guess the country...
but I suppose she must come from the eastern end of the continent... and more precisely the southeastern end...
hmm somewhere between southern china... phillipines... viet nam... laos... thailand... malaysia... singapore... myanmar... indonesia...
ok
lol
and he said he likes particularly asian women too...
but asia is the largest continent... lol...
so... rather complicated to guess the country...
but I suppose she must come from the eastern end of the continent... and more precisely the southeastern end...
hmm somewhere between southern china... phillipines... viet nam... laos... thailand... malaysia... singapore... myanmar... indonesia...
ok
lol
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