I have been analyzing my sex life as well as current and past relationships.
I am a 26 years old male and see myself as bisexual.
My first sexual relationship was with a girl when I was 12 years old, but this was just a one off with the neighbor and I didn't know what to do exactly, and neither did she. I think we just "wanted to have sex". I remember years before, I have fooled around with girls... in the bathroom, touching them, them touching me etc (there was no cum or orgasm involved in these experiences.)
When I was 15 years old, I met a girl and we were really in love with each other. However, due to our strict religious upbringing, we could not be together. We never got to have sex, but there was one occasion when we did fool around a bit (lots of kissing and I was highly turned on.)
Our parents stopped our relationship, as we had to put our religion before. This sucked, but you know, at 15 years old you don't have a choice.
When I was about 17, I had my first same sex experience. I met a guy through a friend, and somehow we managed fooling around. He sucked me, and as time passed, he asked me to fuck him. At this time, I had a long distance relationship with a girl who I really liked. Anyway, this ended very bitterly as I felt he took advantage of me (not in a rape or abusive sense) just at the fact he befriended me when I was young and inexperienced and he was older (28 and married, with a kid!)
So after this, I enjoyed a sexual relationship with another girl but we didn't see each other very often, but when we did, the sex was good.
However, due to long distance, the relationship ended. I met another girl, and grew very attached to her but we didn't have sex for a long time after we met. She became my best friend, and when it came to sex, there was no passion. I couldn't even get erect properly. She didn't turn me on, and I felt so bad. I know she really fancied me, and she is very very very hot. I don't think she is my type of girl that I would normally go for, but we got along so well. After a long period of on and off with her, we broke up (but because I went to travel.)
Since then, I have been with quite a few guys. The thing is, when I am with these guys, if I feel he is getting too emotionally close, I back off. I prefer no string attached sex. This sounds slutty, and probably is... but the moment I feel he gets too close to me, I shut off and it becomes boring and I don't get turned on.
A few months ago, I met a woman about 10 years older than me. We became good friends, and debated in lots of issues. I saw her as a bit of a threat due to her feministic views and we often debates these and got close. One day, I found myself in bed with her, and although she is very hot, I couldn't get aroused and erect. She came twice, but I didn't get hard... she was just rubbing herself on me, and we were kissing a lot.
I then realized that the same thing goes with women as well as men. I can't put emotion and sex into the same person. It doesn't work with me.
I feel that I am more straight that gay, but the reason I have had have more gay sex is because it's easier to find (given the fact I am looking for no strings attached sex.) I would love to meet a girl for no strings attached sex. I would love to meet a girl and fuck her, then fall in love with her and bring out emotions for her.
I feel that if I don't sort this out, I will end up a lonely man... of course I would prefer to end up with a wife and kids. I don't want to have random sex anymore... at least not with men.
I am scared. Please help! Any comments and suggestions would help. Also, feel free to analyze my past or ask any further questions!
THANK YOU!
I am a 26 years old male and see myself as bisexual.
My first sexual relationship was with a girl when I was 12 years old, but this was just a one off with the neighbor and I didn't know what to do exactly, and neither did she. I think we just "wanted to have sex". I remember years before, I have fooled around with girls... in the bathroom, touching them, them touching me etc (there was no cum or orgasm involved in these experiences.)
When I was 15 years old, I met a girl and we were really in love with each other. However, due to our strict religious upbringing, we could not be together. We never got to have sex, but there was one occasion when we did fool around a bit (lots of kissing and I was highly turned on.)
Our parents stopped our relationship, as we had to put our religion before. This sucked, but you know, at 15 years old you don't have a choice.
When I was about 17, I had my first same sex experience. I met a guy through a friend, and somehow we managed fooling around. He sucked me, and as time passed, he asked me to fuck him. At this time, I had a long distance relationship with a girl who I really liked. Anyway, this ended very bitterly as I felt he took advantage of me (not in a rape or abusive sense) just at the fact he befriended me when I was young and inexperienced and he was older (28 and married, with a kid!)
So after this, I enjoyed a sexual relationship with another girl but we didn't see each other very often, but when we did, the sex was good.
However, due to long distance, the relationship ended. I met another girl, and grew very attached to her but we didn't have sex for a long time after we met. She became my best friend, and when it came to sex, there was no passion. I couldn't even get erect properly. She didn't turn me on, and I felt so bad. I know she really fancied me, and she is very very very hot. I don't think she is my type of girl that I would normally go for, but we got along so well. After a long period of on and off with her, we broke up (but because I went to travel.)
Since then, I have been with quite a few guys. The thing is, when I am with these guys, if I feel he is getting too emotionally close, I back off. I prefer no string attached sex. This sounds slutty, and probably is... but the moment I feel he gets too close to me, I shut off and it becomes boring and I don't get turned on.
A few months ago, I met a woman about 10 years older than me. We became good friends, and debated in lots of issues. I saw her as a bit of a threat due to her feministic views and we often debates these and got close. One day, I found myself in bed with her, and although she is very hot, I couldn't get aroused and erect. She came twice, but I didn't get hard... she was just rubbing herself on me, and we were kissing a lot.
I then realized that the same thing goes with women as well as men. I can't put emotion and sex into the same person. It doesn't work with me.
I feel that I am more straight that gay, but the reason I have had have more gay sex is because it's easier to find (given the fact I am looking for no strings attached sex.) I would love to meet a girl for no strings attached sex. I would love to meet a girl and fuck her, then fall in love with her and bring out emotions for her.
I feel that if I don't sort this out, I will end up a lonely man... of course I would prefer to end up with a wife and kids. I don't want to have random sex anymore... at least not with men.
I am scared. Please help! Any comments and suggestions would help. Also, feel free to analyze my past or ask any further questions!
THANK YOU!