I'm plagued with no strings attached sex! HELP!

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by D_hybabi, Jan 4, 2010.

  1. D_hybabi

    D_hybabi New Member

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    I have been analyzing my sex life as well as current and past relationships.

    I am a 26 years old male and see myself as bisexual.

    My first sexual relationship was with a girl when I was 12 years old, but this was just a one off with the neighbor and I didn't know what to do exactly, and neither did she. I think we just "wanted to have sex". I remember years before, I have fooled around with girls... in the bathroom, touching them, them touching me etc (there was no cum or orgasm involved in these experiences.)

    When I was 15 years old, I met a girl and we were really in love with each other. However, due to our strict religious upbringing, we could not be together. We never got to have sex, but there was one occasion when we did fool around a bit (lots of kissing and I was highly turned on.)

    Our parents stopped our relationship, as we had to put our religion before. This sucked, but you know, at 15 years old you don't have a choice.

    When I was about 17, I had my first same sex experience. I met a guy through a friend, and somehow we managed fooling around. He sucked me, and as time passed, he asked me to fuck him. At this time, I had a long distance relationship with a girl who I really liked. Anyway, this ended very bitterly as I felt he took advantage of me (not in a rape or abusive sense) just at the fact he befriended me when I was young and inexperienced and he was older (28 and married, with a kid!)

    So after this, I enjoyed a sexual relationship with another girl but we didn't see each other very often, but when we did, the sex was good.

    However, due to long distance, the relationship ended. I met another girl, and grew very attached to her but we didn't have sex for a long time after we met. She became my best friend, and when it came to sex, there was no passion. I couldn't even get erect properly. She didn't turn me on, and I felt so bad. I know she really fancied me, and she is very very very hot. I don't think she is my type of girl that I would normally go for, but we got along so well. After a long period of on and off with her, we broke up (but because I went to travel.)

    Since then, I have been with quite a few guys. The thing is, when I am with these guys, if I feel he is getting too emotionally close, I back off. I prefer no string attached sex. This sounds slutty, and probably is... but the moment I feel he gets too close to me, I shut off and it becomes boring and I don't get turned on.

    A few months ago, I met a woman about 10 years older than me. We became good friends, and debated in lots of issues. I saw her as a bit of a threat due to her feministic views and we often debates these and got close. One day, I found myself in bed with her, and although she is very hot, I couldn't get aroused and erect. She came twice, but I didn't get hard... she was just rubbing herself on me, and we were kissing a lot.

    I then realized that the same thing goes with women as well as men. I can't put emotion and sex into the same person. It doesn't work with me.

    I feel that I am more straight that gay, but the reason I have had have more gay sex is because it's easier to find (given the fact I am looking for no strings attached sex.) I would love to meet a girl for no strings attached sex. I would love to meet a girl and fuck her, then fall in love with her and bring out emotions for her.

    I feel that if I don't sort this out, I will end up a lonely man... of course I would prefer to end up with a wife and kids. I don't want to have random sex anymore... at least not with men.

    I am scared. Please help! Any comments and suggestions would help. Also, feel free to analyze my past or ask any further questions!

    THANK YOU!
     
  2. B_jeepguy2

    B_jeepguy2 New Member

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    I am the exact same way dude. I enjoy the physical aspects of sex, but not into the whole emotional committment thing with either a man or a woman. I have a gay friend who I have known since college. He wants to marry a dude, buy a house and adopt kids... I just want a FB to get off with. LOL

    I honestly think you are gay, if you can't get aroused whuile in bed with a hot woman. I mostly have had sex with guys, but if I end up in the sack with a woman I can and do get hard.

    My reccomendation is just go with the flow dude. Don't try to analyze your sex life, and what turns you on too much. If you meet a woman that you want to spsnd the rest of your life and raise babies with then marry her...if not then don't.

    You could get married and have kids and still end up a lonely man. Several of my friends have gotten married, had kids, then the marriage ended in divorce and their ex has custody, lives in another state and they get to see their kids once a year.
     
    #2 B_jeepguy2, Jan 4, 2010
    Last edited: Jan 4, 2010
  3. Rommette

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    hello....what can I say? My problem is that I do get attached with nsa sex after some time. Honestly, I think that you need to just ease your way into relationships. "Take it slow".....very slow so you can ease your way into having feelings for them. You dont want it to happen overnight. look for a female who may be bisexual herself. That might help because then ya'll have something in common. It will also allow you to "spice" things up by possibly adding a third person in the bed room occasionally to help both of you out. That's about all the advice I can think of right now...I have relationship problems myself. Just look at a recent thread

    http://www.lpsg.org/161891-i-get-attached-too-quickly.html
     
  4. D_hybabi

    D_hybabi New Member

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    What about if I can't get aroused with a hot man? What does that make me? The point I was trying to make is, not how attractive the person is, it's the emotion involved that makes me shun away from the sexual part of the relationship.
     
  5. D_hybabi

    D_hybabi New Member

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    I like this idea A LOT but how do I meet a bisexual girl? I made a profile on gaydargirls but they took me off because I am male. I hear from male gay friends that there are girls on gaydarguys, so why do they allow that and not a male on gaydargirls?

    Anyway, that's not too much the point... I just wish I could meet a girl and take it slow... but at my age, I think the people I mix with and because of my background, most girls are looking for something serious. And if they're not, then they are girls of mutual friends and I can't afford any embarrassing stories!
     
  6. B_jeepguy2

    B_jeepguy2 New Member

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    I dunno dude, I am not a psychologist, what I said was just based on my own experinces
     
  7. D_hybabi

    D_hybabi New Member

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    I am pretty sure most people, including psychologists, sociologists and economists base their research on past behavior to predicts patterns and trends. You are indeed an 'ologist' in your own right, and your personal experiences are appreciated. Thanks!

    Anyone else willing to share their experiences, and perhaps compare and contrast to my own?!
     
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