im so confused

xeno88

Just Browsing
Joined
Aug 18, 2006
Posts
35
Media
0
Likes
0
Points
151
Sexuality
No Response
i found out my bf logs on to a hooking up website and on his profile it says hes single and this profile is pretty recent weve been together for awhile, i found out he was going on a dating site before and he said it was "just to talk to friends and stuff" what confuses me is he seemed like he was really in love with me and lately iu dont ge that from him anymore
 

D_Bob_Crotchitch

Expert Member
Joined
Jun 11, 2006
Posts
8,252
Media
0
Likes
106
Points
193
i found out my bf logs on to a hooking up website and on his profile it says hes single and this profile is pretty recent weve been together for awhile, i found out he was going on a dating site before and he said it was "just to talk to friends and stuff" what confuses me is he seemed like he was really in love with me and lately iu dont ge that from him anymore


I am so sorry. Before you challenge him, make sure you have a seperate checking account, and enough stashed away to live on for a while.
 

MichaelHJ

Just Browsing
Joined
Sep 25, 2006
Posts
13
Media
0
Likes
0
Points
146
Sexuality
100% Gay, 0% Straight
Gender
Male
Listen up baby boy...gay men are one of the most evil things on the planet. When I was younger all I wanted was to find someone to love and to love me back...just one person, but everytime I thought I found someone they just ended up fucking me over. Eventually I just gave up and not until I was 28 did I find the true love of my life. Ironically he turned out to be a straight guy who had been married, to wornen, four different times. We have now been together for almost 7 years. What I am trying to say is that not all relationships work out, some do but most don't. You just need to see that as an always looming possibility so that if it does happen then it isn't as painful. Some people never find their true love, but some people do. Life is always a fucking grab bag and there are never any guarentees. So my best advice to you would be to just figure out what you want out of life and go for it without worrying who will be there to enjoy it with you. I know that seems kind of gloomy but it is the harsh reality that is called life. Keep your chin up!! :rolleyes:
 

xeno88

Just Browsing
Joined
Aug 18, 2006
Posts
35
Media
0
Likes
0
Points
151
Sexuality
No Response
thanks michaelhj, weve been through so much in the little time weve be together, it sucks that it had to be this way
 

MichaelHJ

Just Browsing
Joined
Sep 25, 2006
Posts
13
Media
0
Likes
0
Points
146
Sexuality
100% Gay, 0% Straight
Gender
Male
You don't sound like the open relationship type and besides and open relationship is nothing but a lie you tell each other to help you deal with the fact that you don't want to be together
 

xeno88

Just Browsing
Joined
Aug 18, 2006
Posts
35
Media
0
Likes
0
Points
151
Sexuality
No Response
ihave to agree with him, im not into open relationships how can u love someone and have sex with other people only a matter of time before those kinds of relationships end
 

mateo25

Sexy Member
Joined
Nov 14, 2007
Posts
103
Media
15
Likes
70
Points
113
Location
The Chocolate Capital of The World, With My Man...
Sexuality
100% Gay, 0% Straight
Gender
Male
You sound as if your dealing well with all of this, Always remember what my mother told me.... If you love something, let it go... if it comes back, it was always yours, and if it doesnt, then it was never yours to begin with. I can only hope that you find what your looking for in life.... always keep your head held high and never be complacent, always want more... ALWAYS!!
Cheers

M
 

Sklar

Superior Member
Joined
Jun 25, 2006
Posts
1,640
Media
25
Likes
3,493
Points
368
Location
Everett, Washington, US
Sexuality
100% Gay, 0% Straight
Gender
Male
Xeno, a friend of mine once told me a long time ago that 99% of all gay men are looking for the bigger, better deal.

A gay man could have Mr. Perfect as a boyfriend/husband and they will fuck it up.

If he lies in a profile and he lies to your face and you can't put the clues together all you are in for is a world of hurt.


My advice to you: Ditch him. He's not worth your time.

Sklar
 

Principessa

Expert Member
Joined
Nov 22, 2006
Posts
18,660
Media
0
Likes
135
Points
193
Sexuality
100% Straight, 0% Gay
Gender
Female
You don't sound confused to me, just a sad realization seems to be coming your way.
I'm sorry for you. It seems he's on his way. :redface:
Agreed :redface:

I am so sorry. Before you challenge him, make sure you have a seperate checking account, and enough stashed away to live on for a while.
That's good advice! :cool:

Xeno, a friend of mine once told me a long time ago that 99% of all gay men are looking for the bigger, better deal.
A gay man could have Mr. Perfect as a boyfriend/husband and they will fuck it up.
Let me fix that for you Sklar, :biggrin1: What makes you think bad behavior is exclusive to gay men? :confused:
That 99% of ALL men are looking for the bigger, better deal. A man could have Miss Perfect as a girlfriend/wife and they will fuck it up. :frown:

If he lies in a profile and he lies to your face and you can't put the clues together all you are in for is a world of hurt. My advice to you: Ditch him. He's not worth your time.

Sklar

What's that old Snoop Dog song? Drop him like it's hot, that's what the OP needs to do.
 

D_Lachtmadder Longhorne

Account Disabled
Joined
Apr 18, 2007
Posts
115
Media
0
Likes
1
Points
161
I'm sorry to hear this since I know first hand how it feels. Logging onto chat sites isn't a big deal but if he joined a singles site and paid for a membership and you weren't consulted, then it means that something is 'up' otherwise he wouldn't hide it from you and he'd still want sex.
Mine joined a singles site too and we all know that they're just as big a meat market as any bar can be, he hid it from me but I found out and we talked frankly about it. In the end you can either choose to believe him that he wasn't on the make for some action on the side, or you can tell him to take a hike. If it is a sex site and he removes his profile and closes the account since he knows it's upsetting to you, you might have a chance to work things out. It's too easy to give up instead of working through things as they develop. Your gut instinct is what should guide you. Remember, secrecy leads to lies and both means he has no respect for you.

You deserve better than that.
 

FRE

Admired Member
Joined
Jun 29, 2008
Posts
3,055
Media
44
Likes
828
Points
258
Location
Palm Springs, California USA
Sexuality
99% Gay, 1% Straight
Gender
Male
i found out my bf logs on to a hooking up website and on his profile it says hes single and this profile is pretty recent weve been together for awhile, i found out he was going on a dating site before and he said it was "just to talk to friends and stuff" what confuses me is he seemed like he was really in love with me and lately iu dont ge that from him anymore

I think that she's confused.

The entire post has no capital letters and no periods. I won't even attempt to read something like that.

In the 14th century, Charlemeign decreed that all sentences should begin with a capital letter and end with a period, and that there should be spaces between words. He did that because before his time, scribes used no punctuation, no capital letters, and did not put spaces between words, apparently to enhance their employment security by making reading difficult. Charlemeign learned to read rather late in life and wanted reading to be made easier so that more people could learn to read. That is why he issued his decree.

His decree was a good idea. Therefore, let us follow it.
 

Sklar

Superior Member
Joined
Jun 25, 2006
Posts
1,640
Media
25
Likes
3,493
Points
368
Location
Everett, Washington, US
Sexuality
100% Gay, 0% Straight
Gender
Male
Agreed :redface:

That's good advice! :cool:

Let me fix that for you Sklar, :biggrin1: What makes you think bad behavior is exclusive to gay men? :confused:
That 99% of ALL men are looking for the bigger, better deal. A man could have Miss Perfect as a girlfriend/wife and they will fuck it up. :frown:
If he lies in a profile and he lies to your face and you can't put the clues together all you are in for is a world of hurt. My advice to you: Ditch him. He's not worth your time.

Sklar

What's that old Snoop Dog song? Drop him like it's hot, that's what the OP needs to do.


Sorry, NJQT, I've never had experiences with women or straight men before, so all of my comments would naturally be geared on the gay side of relationships. You are correct that straight guys wander too.
 

D_Rod Staffinbone

Account Disabled
Joined
Jun 25, 2008
Posts
834
Media
0
Likes
2
Points
103
Sexuality
No Response
i found out my bf logs on to a hooking up website and on his profile it says hes single and this profile is pretty recent weve been together for awhile, i found out he was going on a dating site before and he said it was "just to talk to friends and stuff" what confuses me is he seemed like he was really in love with me and lately iu dont ge that from him anymore

take heart in knowing that this is the oldest heartache in the history of mankind. without stuff like this there would be no blues music, thus no rock and roll and a whole host of great art and literature.
you are not alone. it's usually an unfortunate part of most everyone's life,
if they don't live under a rock.
i feel bad for you, but you will eventually move on and there will still be
some pain that never completely goes away if it was real love.

a wise man once said "the only cure for a heartache is another heartache". that may be true.

offroad8x6