Improvement Of English Spelling

Discussion in 'Et Cetera, Et Cetera' started by windtalkerways, Mar 13, 2006.

  1. windtalkerways

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    A Plan for the Improvement of English Spelling
    by Mark Twain

    For example, in Year 1 that useless letter "c" would be dropped
    to be replased either by "k" or "s", and likewise "x" would no longer
    be part of the alphabet. The only kase in which "c" would be retained
    would be the "ch" formation, which will be dealt with later. Year 2
    might reform "w" spelling, so that "which" and "one" would take the
    same konsonant, wile Year 3 might well abolish "y" replasing it with
    "i" and Iear 4 might fiks the "g/j" anomali wonse and for all.


    Jenerally, then, the improvement would kontinue iear bai iear
    with Iear 5 doing awai with useless double konsonants, and Iears 6-12
    or so modifaiing vowlz and the rimeining voist and unvoist konsonants.
    Bai Iear 15 or sou, it wud fainali bi posibl tu meik ius ov thi
    ridandant letez "c", "y" and "x" -- bai now jast a memori in the maindz
    ov ould doderez -- tu riplais "ch", "sh", and "th" rispektivli.


    Fainali, xen, aafte sam 20 iers ov orxogrefkl riform, wi wud
    hev a lojikl, kohirnt speling in ius xrewawt xe Ingliy-spiking werld.
     
  2. Bryan_Lyte2

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    That's as far as I could understand it.:cool:
     
  3. windtalkerways

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    That's pretty good, Bryan!

    The last bit I think is...

    riform, wi wud
    hev a lojikl, kohirnt speling in ius xrewawt xe Ingliy-spiking werld.


    reform. we would
    have a logical coherent spelling in use
    throughout the English speaking world.
     
  4. sexycobra

    sexycobra New Member

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    Hey, I was going to answer Bryan! I got beaten... Although I'm happy to see that I had the right answer. :cool: The hard part for me was: in ius xrewawt - I just said it without thinking about the spelling until it made sense.

    This last sentence is beginning to look more like Swedish or something like that...
     
  5. Bryan_Lyte2

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    I only missed "xrewawt" the rest was fine.:cool:
     
  6. jakeatolla

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    There is a great joke floating around from the German point of view
    about how they lost the war, but modern English will evolve over the years
    to German lingual paterns.
     
  7. windtalkerways

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    Well, it's your mission to find it, Jake!:wink:
     
  8. novice_btm

    Staff Member Moderator Gold Member

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    OH, i can't WAIT to see Alex's head spin outta control on this one!!! :tongue:
     
  9. jakeatolla

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    Yeah, I tried. The website no longer exists. But I shall not give up!!!
     
  10. D_alex8

    D_alex8 Member

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    George Bernard Shaw made a similar statement about the inconsistency of English spelling, in which he opined that the word 'fish' might just as well be written 'ghoti':

    'gh' as in "rough"
    'o' as in "women"
    'ti' as in "motion"

    :rolleyes:
     
  11. B_big dirigible

    B_big dirigible New Member

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    Alright, here's the pseudo-German one what's currently making the rounds -

    The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

    As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

    In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.

    The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

    There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

    In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

    Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

    Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

    By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

    During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.

    Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

    Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

    If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl.
     
  12. EnglishGentleman

    EnglishGentleman New Member

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    Har! after reading that last post I can only say....

    Ich bin ein Englander!:biggrin1:
     
  13. windtalkerways

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    Thanks for posting the entire thing,
    Big...
    I only had the last bit where it's all
    written with the German accent.
     
  14. jakeatolla

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    Ok, Big Dirgible beat me to it. Damn!!!!
     
  15. windtalkerways

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    Yep, it was pretty good too, Jake.:tongue:
     
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