In a relationship but curious about a big one?

[950483]

Why is cheating so frowned upon here? If someone wants to try something different and keep it a secret they shouldn't be shamed for it.

Yes they absolutely should. I would be less concerned about the broken trust, etc., and more concerned about the fact that if you are cheating you are making decisions about your partners body and health without asking them. So - if your partner finds out and maims you, don't feel too hard done by.

 

[Nosuportneeded]

Why is cheating so frowned upon here? If someone wants to try something different and keep it a secret they shouldn't be shamed for it.

I think we must view this statement in the context of not knowing another's perspective, circumstance, or resources. There are exceptions to all. I don't doubt that there are times when someone cheated and it might be seen as acceptable by me.

But yes, it is called cheating, not fairing. So, it is generally not cool.

However, I also see and somewhat accept your point about cheating actually helping (enabling in a semi-functional way) some people be better partners. The much maligned "what you don't know can't hurt you," theory. Happy and satisfied spouses ARE more fun to be around.

 

[missT44]

Why is cheating so frowned upon here? If someone wants to try something different and keep it a secret they shouldn't be shamed for it.

I am 100% in favour of sexual exploration and embracing your sexuality and hate shaming of any sort! I'm also a firm believer that monogamy is unnatural and hard to maintain over a long period of time... hence why my husband and I choose to explore our sexual cravings and curioisities together and sometimes apart, but always communicating with each other.

If you're in a committed relationship with another person and you've promised to remain faithful then cheating is a destructive , selfish act that will destroy that. So by all means, indulge your desire for exciting sexual dalliance but count the cost as you do. I really believe that a few stolen experiences are not worth what you might lose ...
but that is just my opinion. I will never shame someone for cheating - everyone has their reasons- but I'm merely saying it comes with a lot of loss and heartache.

I think it's ironic that a lot of people on this site are married and don't want their partners to know but take the high moral ground on people who are promiscuous.. I've been shamed by quite a few because I openly admit to a prolifically varied sex life. Human nature I suppose ...people always judge what they don't understand

 

[ItsAll4Kim]

Fist objects and giant dildos (as thick as a small woman's thigh) are generally purchased by men. I've had only one woman who said the fist would not be girthy enough. She was very petite.

Most women come in to buy a vibrating toy. Whether it be a small clitoral vibe or a flesh like real looking vibrating toy. We also carry dual vibes (rabbit style), a whole wall full of them. The biggest sellers are clitoral vibrators or remote with a vibrating egg attached.

I have a good collection of mostly larger (but not thigh-thick) dildos and insertables. The largest are for me, not my wife. She can handle very big, but that's a rare request from her.

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

Why is cheating so frowned upon here? If someone wants to try something different and keep it a secret they shouldn't be shamed for it.

I allow my partner Inside my body. What does with *his affects *mine. There are potential consequences that affect both of us. If someone is selfish enough to lie about something that important they loose respect from me. No denying it. Everybody lies, and I can forgive someone for doing it, but only if they have the guts to admit they fucked up.

If the person who wants to try something different can't come out and say that to the person they supposedly care for, they shouldn't be in a committed relationship anyway imo. And that's fine... some people need to do their own thing.... but in a monogamous relationship there's no excuse.

People shouldn't be ashamed to try new things or be honest with their partner. They should be ashamed if they're lying and deceiving people they claim to care about.

 

[Mule]

Cheating saves sanity and lots of relationships. Open sexuality is an impossible concept for many for numerous reasons.

The problem is that this disregards the dishonesty aspect. Cheating by definition involves being deceitful to a person to whom you have made a commitment one way or another. Deceit is wrong because it disrespects your partner and misrepresents your intentions.

If you are in a closed relationship and want to be with others, you have two ethical options:

1. Be honest, express what you want and ask for an open relationship, or;
2. End the relationship

If you're with someone for whom "open sexuality is an impossible concept," and you want to be with others, you simply have to walk away. Having sex with another person when your partner believes your relationship is closed and exclusive is selfish, dishonest, destructive and hurtful.

 

[Benimaru98]

Im not a woman but if your partner is cool with it( and you too of course) you can buy a dildo that he can put his member in that will please both you and him, that is of a bigger size. I'm sure you can find them on the internet, esp on bdsm sights.

 

[185248]

Why is cheating so frowned upon here? If someone wants to try something different and keep it a secret they shouldn't be shamed for it.

Probably because cheating involves lying. If someone wishes to try something different, how about not dragging people who supposedly think they in a relationship of trust into a web of deceit. I have found in my time cheats and liars can't help but lie about everything and anything.


Lets say someone stole everything you own, just to find out what it would be like to have someone else's stuff. Seems you would be quite happy with that.

 

[Fencepost]

I will go out on a limb and say that cheating almost always is more than just sexual curiosity to try something different. It involves a significant dissatisfaction with the relationship, and this not just sexual. The cheater does not like the committed partner for whatever reason. It does not mean there are no feelings there, it just means there is enough negative emotion to push towards cheating. Men do it, women do it. I have done it. I learned very, very hard lessons, and I speak from personal experience. I vowed to never get into a serious relationship with a lady that did not include very honest telling of feelings and needs. Yes, there are relationships where communication has died. Now is the time to assess if it is worth saving, getting the help needed, and making real, sincere changes for both parties. If this cannot happen, then break it off and be done. Society frowns on divorce, but sometimes divorce is a relief for both parties. Each can learn and grow and start fresh. When kids are involved, it hurts them, but chances are they already could feel the negativity that was there in their parent's marriage. Kids see all.
In some societies it is understood that married people sometimes have affairs, but keep their marriages. I cannot personally fathom this, but I know it happens. It seems to me that both people would need to have this understanding up front.

 

[someperson]

They were talking to a million dudes who feel like cheating on your man for big dick is awesome. It feeds their precious little egos to think a woman would leave her man for someone like him.

Even if you don't go into the chat with this in mind you still get bombarded with dudes who ask "Ever had a big one before?" Or "is your man as big as me? Ok now picture my dick inside you." Among other creepy dude things.

My friends GF hit on me because she wanted some big cock.. As well as his mom. his even his cousin (female)did as well..